Tuesday, June 14, 2011


In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Malaysia , and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me. "Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans. Bring Ibrahim Ali along as you will need him to clean the poo." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I start the un-ending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard but with no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord", begged Noah, "but things have changed.

"First I need to have a BUMIPUTRA PARTNER who is linked to UMNO. Then I need a building permit from DBKL and I also have to pay under-counter money to get the permit . Then I've been arguing with the BOMBA inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.

"My neighbours complained to The Malay Utasan about the height of the Ark I was going to build and the next day it was in the media headlines claiming that I've violated the neighbourhood building by-laws - that my Ark exceeds the height limitations.

"I appealed to the magistrate and it was finally approved." "The Opposition took advantage of the situation and said I was a government crony and did nasty things with my face on the Internet. I don't know how they super-imposed my face on a naked body of a MP and put it on YOUTUBE. Oh Lord, only you who are all-knowing, know that I had nothing to do with these MPs.

"Then there was another stop-work order even before I could start work. The Badan Cegah Rasuah arrested me for pornography. I talked to a lawyer who looks like Ambitah Bachan, talks like him, acts like him but is not him. He said he knows the Chief Justice and the Prime Minister, the Apa Nama and can clear my name but I have to buy them air tickets to Australia.

"After clearing my name ... I had to go to the DBKL Appeal Board again for a decision to allow me to build the Ark.

"The government, after approving the plans, said I must use only SIRIM-approved goods and must only buy from their list of CLASS F contractors which are 15 times more expensive than the Normal hardware shops. "Then the TNB and JPJ demanded a bond be posted for future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us but they laughed and would hear nothing of it.

"Getting the wood was another problem. SUKHAM and the JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA said there's a ban on cutting local trees to save the orang utan. I tried to convince SUKHAM and JABATAN HUTAN NEGARA that I needed the wood to save the orang utan – but they said no go.

"When I started gathering the animals, JAKIM and an Animal Rights Group sued me.

"JAKIM said I cannot put the chickens and the pigs next to each other as it WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED HALAL and the Animal Rights Group insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued that the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

"Then JABATAN KERJA RAKYAT AND JABATAN KAJIAN dan GALIAN ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they had conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. "I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many bumiputra contractors I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. "JABATAN IMMIGRASI and RELA are checking the status of most of the people who want to work. "The trade unions say I can not use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience. "As I started to clear the area to build the ark, 6 gangsters came and demanded protection money. They said they control the area for selling drugs and prostitution to my workers. "When I complained to the POLIS... the IGP of POLIS sent an ASP who came in full uniform the next day. Unfortunately, he also happened to be one from the six gangsters who demanded protection money. They doubled my protection fee. "Then there was a by-election and I was forced to be an UMNO member in order to get my permits approved and I was made to pay a donation by the Barisan candidate in the so called spirit of MUHIBBAH. Otherwise, he will make my life difficult."Every department I turned to is asking for what they call, 'Kopi Wang'. "I calculated that if I had to pay all the 'Kopi wang' and give the donation, the cost of building the ARK will be 20 times higher. I refused to give them the Kopi Wang as I am faithful to you, Oh Lord. "Then some top level politicians were very disappointed with me for not giving donations and called me a murtad but I told them my name is Noah not murtad. They got very angry and said they have connections. "Suddenly, I am a suspect behind the murder of the Mongolian lady because the place where she was murdered happens to be on the land where I am going to build the Ark. So I was arrested. "To make matters worse, the Jabatan HASIL seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. I have just been released from ISA. "So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The Current Government is already doing it for me!"

(the author requested for anonymity....I don't know why..)


Anonymous said...

Zorro,What the author is trying to get through is that everywhere he goes there is always cronyism and wide spread corruption.Even to save animals from extintion you have to pay bribes too.So to teach these corrupted goons we have to round them up.Then put them in cages and have them transported to the animal clinic and have the vet shaved them bald.Then have them neutered,put in the ark and ship them to Libya and have Mohamar Ghadafi satayed them.Lock stock and barrel.

Anonymous said...

Hey Zorro,

Why you are always whacking BN only??

I voted for PR in the last GE and honestly, other than PAS that PKR and DAP cannot really pakai la.

PKR is full of UMNO, MCA & MIC Team Bs. If you look closely without being biased, many in PKR have a serious credibility issue. Granted they have some decent leaders there like Nurul Izzah but the majority are rubbish in the integrity department.

DAP ... for all the noise they are making about transparency, clean and etc ...the party is pretty silent about that Lee Kee Hiong who dished out contracts to her uncle. And dont get me started about that Tee Boon Hock and Ronnie Liu! That Jeff Ooi is a walking embarrassment. DAP talked about Malaysian Malaysia, but if you attend all their meetings and ceramahs ... they speak mainly mandarin.

PAS is the only party that is credible.

I feel if PR takes Putrajaya come 13GE, we are only gonna replace an old set of crooks with a new bunch because of PKR and DAP.

wandererAus said...

Hahaha! this s a good one...
Zorr, make sure you pray to the Lord to omit Fat Mama...sub-standard materials bought from UMNO cronies to build the Ark will not stand this fat clod!!

Anonymous said...

Zorro,Can any of your readers who comment on LKS's blog able to confirmed that posting into comment on LKS's blog is blocked.It always come back as wrong password.When prompted for new password it said check email.But nothing showed up on my email.After half dozen times I think something's not right.

loveMyKris said...

hahaha. what a way to start the day. how you been bernard.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hilarious !!!

Anonymous said...

Looks like Najib and "healthy lungs fart lady have let loose all the mad cows, infected pigs, white chicken, snakes and retarded donkeys from his UMNO Animal farm to count Bersih to create havoc!!
Apa boleh buat, binatang instinct!!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous June 14, 2011 11:13 AM

I am encountering the same problem, have to log in each time and came out blank!
Use a indirect way...if you are regularly used Mozilla firefox, switch on to internet explorer.
It worked for me.

Jong said...

Anon 11:13AM,

I too have encountered same problems at LKS Blog. My comment got jumbled up then when I resent, one para got missing. In the end I gave up, didn't bother to correct it further.

Anonymous said...

Why does the BN have so much fear of the Bersih Rally? Is it because they are afraid to accede to demands for a freer and fairer election?

And that Zulkifli Nordin, the MP for Kulim Bandar Baharu, the more he opens his mouth the more the public thinks he’s nuts. Sincere apologies to all the innocent nuts like Macadamia, Peanuts, Hazel or Cashew. Just to let everyone know, no intention to hurt or abuse any nuts in this article, except Zul – for being so annoying!

When once, we had actually thought of him as a potential national leader, his speech has now betrayed his reputation. Sad to say, he is nothing but a racist slime ball. Totally ignoring the non-Malay role in nation building, he is calling on Malays to disallow the non-Malays from gaining a foothold in Malaysian politics.

Anonymous said...

Biniku started shouting & scolding me when I was stopped by a traffic polis for beating the red light ...!
He wanted to give me a summon BUT changed his mind , he said : " you have suffered enough ...! "

Hallelujah !

Anonymous said...

@#$%^&* , rm27,000,000.00 of OURS was spent on 'national youth day' from 27th-29th May !!!

@#$%^&* !!

zaidi said...

Tuan Zorro

This surely is one of the masterpiece of Malaysian literature. Indeed with some form of editing for example by removing all the said government department and the political parties, this material will become a national text for our school children. This can also be made into a song replacing "Bangau oh bangau."
Muchas gracias senor zorro!

Anonymous said...

June 14,Anon 12.27pm and anon 12.50pm

Thanks.I will give it a try.Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Hi Zorro

Writing on an off-point topic but tot you may be interested to champion this after Bersih 2.0

You see, we still have lots of rural folks, older folks or simply the tidak-apa folks continuing to be unhappy about all the mismanagements by Barisan Nasional but they still continue to vote for Barisan Nasional either out of routine or out of fear ... yes the likes of MCA and MIC have been instilling fear on the more simple-minded rakyat for eons. Most also continue to kowtow to these MPs because they have been "trained" to be subservient.

I would like to suggest that Pakatan Rakyat use one simple approach to make the rakyat think differently before they cast their votes in the next GE ... ask a question ... yes this question should be on every rakyat's mind ... promote this question everywhere ... make it a slogan ... make it a catchphrase ... the question is ...

What has my state representative / MP done so far to improve my family and my life?

Yes, make things simple so that the man in the street understands, make it simple so that it resonates with what they are feeling ... make it simple so that they can relate to what is happening to them and their family. If they feel it, they will vote what's right for them.

I can elaborate more about this if you think it makes sense.

zorro said...

Anon1026.....of course it makes a lot of sense. I am listening if you care to elaborate. I am all ears. You could email me at ktswee@hotmail.com and make reference to this. Thanks for the input.

sampalee said...

The politicians are the root of all the suffering.The mandate to rule is from Tuhan and election is no where mentioned in the kithab of all major religions.
Remember the dateline December 21st 2012.For a very brief moment all of us will have the power to read others thoughts and with that No one will ever trust a politicians ever again[Incumbent and opposition].

Anonymous said...

Froggy and Perkasa clown Ibrahim Ali wants to disrupt the Bersih rally with his Perkasa goons.It is time to herd Abraham Ali and his goons,with their wives abroad the 'ark" and shipped them to wherever is the furthest land away from civilisation.Let them hibernate and bred over there with the animals.

Anonymous said...

Dear Little Napolean Lord,

Bless me this day with:
cheaper TOLL
cheaper PETROL
cheaper CAR PRICE
better ROADS to reduce car REPAIR
we will not pray to other Lords