Thursday, June 18, 2009

JUST DON'T TALK COCK KERIS HISS!

cridit to either MOB, Bodohland or Daniel...I forget.


YB HISS, above, wants to go down to the ground to get down to the bottom of the Ah Longs! No use to do that. It is dangerous. Your police may not allow you to take away their rice-bowl. Be safe and play safe if you want to be premier one day.

Here is what you can do....once and for all...YOU WILL BE A HERO IF YOU MAKE THIS HAPPEN!

PROBLEM IDENTIFICATION: Majority of those who go to Ah longs are chronic hardcore gamblers.

CAUSE OF PROBLEM: They need money to feed their urge or to repay their debts.

SOLUTION: Ban all gambling, legalised or otherwise. ( no more special draws to buy over opposition MPs and Aduns, yes?)

RATIONALE: Isn't Malaysia an Islamic country? JUDI a four-letter word, no?

Don't believe me? Ask Tan Sri LT Lee or the Jelapang Jezebel. Their spouses, I was reliably informed, were in the clutches of the Ah Longs.

However, there are some who need money to continue their little business: fishermen, farmers, traders, hawkers.

PROBABLE CAUSE: Price of everything has skyrocketed. They need the extra loan to manage.

SOLUTION: All BANKS must not turn them away. BANK RAKYAT, especially, must be there for them....otherwise change the name to Bank BNonly!

Another victim of Ah Longs: Our Yuppies.......majority of bankrupts are 30 year olds.....supposedly our country's future!

PROBABLE PROBLEM: They have to pay interest for their excessive credit cards splurges.

MOST LIKELY CAUSE: They can't borrow from the bank to pay their interests accrued from minimum payment. They go to their savior - Ah Longs.

SOLUTION #1: Ban all Credit cards. VISA, MBf etc that allow minimum payments and fuck you dry with accrued interests.

SOLUTION#2: Allow only Charge Cards like American Express....you spend you pay

SOLUTION#3: Card issuers must insist that If you do not earn RM100K a year, forget about GUCCI or Franck Muller. Even the rich find these plastics more explosive than C4s.

So HISS, do't walk the streets (Baldie Hamid will tell you that it is dangerous) but even if you do, you won't learn much. So JUST DO IT...the above that is.


My friend Eric Woon suggests you use only THIS card. I agree. You don't have that card, you do not purchase anything. Nothing as simple as that. Basic econs, yes?






20 comments:

Anonymous said...

mid-year appraisal coming soon lah. if i don't do something, how to justify my position? u think what, politicians no need to work one ahhhh.

hissssssss.... (sound like a snake).

storm62 said...

Malay name : Hishammuddin Husien Onn

English name : HeSuckMyDick a/l who said on.

now you know why they dislike English language?

Anonymous said...

Well said uncle Zorro. All the truth, nothing but the truth.

Anonymous said...

may be you shld ask him to tend to hisha family biz. like the monopoly on security printing for cigs. or the duke toll. or....no wonder if i were him i will shout Ketuanan Melayu and all ah longs die lah.

nightcaller said...

Z,

How can Hiss use his laser eyes and cape? He looks more like a clown than the superhero....
It's more of "Send in the clown" to see Ah Long...hopefully Ah Longs will laugh their heads off and forget collecting the debts. Some sort like hostage transfer..give Hiss to Ah Longs for permanent keep...

Anonymous said...

For what I know, money lending from rich (businessman) to poor like farmer, fishermen and those really in need started long time ago. The words 'Empat Sepuluh' very famous last time and most of those lender known the borrower well not like today.

For those borrow $1000 in 4/10, they need to pay $40 every months as interest as long as they still owe and not fully settle the $1000.

During fruit season, farmers go to 4/10 to get working capital to buy in-bulk of fruits then sell it in town. They easily make 2 to 3 times the amount they borrow. They full settle it and borrow again when they short of cash when arriving of fruits season. Fruits get rotten if slow to harvest it.

During monsoon season of 2-3 months, fishermen go to 4/10 when they desperately need rice to feed their children. They can only pay back when they harvest good catch when the sea allow them. Who want to lend money to unemployed fishermen?

For those go ah Long after loosing money in gambling, let them being chain till rots.

4/10 are totally difference from today '13 Tai Po'(sound like this). For $1k, borrower need to pay $13 up to 100 days. Today borrower might not be as genuine as those time and that might be reason 4/10 change to 13 TP.

A minister of don't know how to drill wealth is a minister of stupid. Look a cleaver minister as in RPK site, NO NEED TO GO TO THE GROUND, SHAM, JUST TALK TO SANUSI. 1 for u, 2 for me.

Penyu Merantau.

artchan said...

He is a minister becos of his father's name. And he is a disgrace to his father.

Anonymous said...

if the gomen are humble enough to learn from LKY : ALL of us in this bolihland would be blissful laa !

Hamba said...

Another project "habiskan duit rakyat" in the making.... Jalan-jalan Cari Publisiti murah... After this all the cabinet minister will start jalan2 and meet the rakyat ( cheap publicity). Rubber tapping done, sleep in a kg house done, ride the LRT done....hmmm...what else that looks good in the paper? Why not ride the IWK sewerage lorry and suck all the shit BN have dumped on the people?

Anonymous said...

Dear Uncle Zorro,

Sadly I'm one of the many that was stuck with Credit Card excessive interest. I overspend and now owes the bank more than 30k.. The only was is to get a cheaper loan and pay-off my credit card but at the current credit status it's impossible. I'm still trying to get someone to help me as i'm willing to pay 5% per annum for 5 years equivalent to 625 per month.. do u know if i pay 625 per month now to my credit card creditors, it will take me 20++ years to pay off.. Do u know anyone whom are willing to help me? Can the government do anything to help someone like me? i know my mistake and i'm willing to cancel all my credit card and get my life back..

There many like me, who are in dire straight.. till now ah long never come accross my mind but frankly speaking they are the only solution left for someone like me..

I contribute to EPF monthly and they pay me what 5% per annum? Maybe one of the solution is enable me to withdraw my EPF to pay off these debt. I know people will say "hey, epf for your old saving lar" but the situation now is differ, With the excessive interest rate on my credit card sooner or later it will take away my saving (epf) too..

Probably government can take this step..

1) backlist ppl like me from getting credit card in future if i use my epf to pay off my debt with banks

no point saving for mere 5% per annum when i had to pay 17.5% per annum to the bank... NO LOGIC

Anonymous said...

If Hisham wants to appear brilliant he may suggest that ah longs should be helped instead.

ciumkeris

DanielYKL said...

Use Debit Card, if you need to use a plastic card. You only get to spent what you have in the bank. But this is one card that you don't need - http://www.danielykl.com/blog/2009/06/18/this-is-one-visa-card-you-dont-need-2/

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm..........!

Let's see if Hiss will do what he said yah.....!

Education already screwed up. How will he do in this area...???

If he "have to" go see the Ah Long personnaly......
"What the HELL were the police doing all these while.....????????"

ZZzzzz...... on their jobs....??
You don't see them walking on the streets or being with the crowd.

Guess they are more comfortable in the police cars & aircon police stations....!!!

And...............
Not enough police men & women to go around....!!!

What is he gonna do about Malaysia being "Blacklisted"....??? Isn't that his area of concern.....??

Guess "not"................

Tiger said...

Malaysians always spend more than they earn.
The basic principle to follow is not to buy a car worth more than 1 year of your salary, and a house not more than 5 years of your salary.
Otherwise, you are living beyond your means!

ashraff said...

When there is a demand there is a supply..

When people make decissions they should take responsibility for their own actions. They borrowed money, now they dont want to pay and DEMAND(!!??) that the government bail them out?

You have no discipline now the government has to bail you out? You borrow, you pay la.. what the hell? Cannot afford, dont spend la!

like this i also want to borrow 1million to spend and then make a big issue and ask gomen to bail me out.

This borrowers who are crying foul
Irresponsible, Worthless and deserve what ever is coming their way....

Anonymous said...

Hisapmuddin is doing his rounds to remove notices, advertisements and call cards posted by AH LONGS at public places. That is all. The DBKL refuses to remove them as most of their staffs are already customers of Ah Longs.

Shalom Admiral Tojo

James Khoo said...

Posturing aside to impress the gullibles, a Minister of Home Affairs who is unable to think and analyse the situation and work out the solutions as you did, is NOT fit for that exalted post.

mauriyaII said...

Why is this HISS such a big dickhead? Can't he just ask his top dog, PIG to get his goons to take down the telephone/HP nos. from all the Ah Long advertisements and track down their IDs and other details through the Telcos?

Don't tell me that is hard work. Taking to the streets looking for Ah Longs and their victims is easier!

Just because his cousin, another dickhead is trying to do everything his father was supposed to have done does not make him look any cleverer. It only shows that he is ever grateful to be born as the son of a PM. That was the only qualification for him to become the youngest datuk and to become the PM eventually.

Trying to do something original and doing something stupid does not make one very capable and bright.

His cousin, the PM is still harping on NEP being good and on ruling the nation on racial lines. He just wants to be the champion of his race and be regarded as the PM for Malays. He doesn't include the other races in his vision of the NEP except for the crumbs that his UMNO throws at the MCA, MIC, GERAKAN and other begger partners in the BN.

With such a ketuanan mindset, how can he ever become the PM for all Malaysians? How can he ever walk the talk of being people-centric?

If HISS follows his cousin's prescription for being people-centric and performance now, he is just barking up the wrong tree.

Hissing and kissing may look very macho in the eyes of his ketuanan UMNO goons but the rakyat are not easily fooled anymore.

Anonymous said...

It is the BULL-SHIT 'Islam' embraced by the UMNO-putras that has allowed the evil of gambling and Ah Longs to run out of control.

I hope Pakatan would be very different towards these EVILS!

Otherwise, they too are DAMNED and CURSED!

leekh said...

He was going to the schools every year during his time as the Minister of Education. Has Education benefited? If you dont know how to control the teachers and students how are you going to control those Ah Longs with their gangster connections? It is time for Hishamuddin to go away and let someone else take over.