Saturday, April 19, 2008

SAVING PRIVATE SUFFIAH

I take strong objection to anyone accusing HANTU of being inebriated most of the time. As long as he brings in gems of different shades and shapes, he has done his job. So leave him be ok?Take this bit that he brought in this morning for our weekend reading:

Notes on Friday's Cabinet Meeting:

Malaysian ministers, deputy ministers, and other bureaucrats will be making a beeline to London to help maths-genius-turned-hooker, Sufiah, with her high sex drive.

The former and current Ministers of Health have released a joint statement saying, "We believe that we can understand Sufiah's positions better and, maybe, let her know our positions as well by having a face-to-face meeting with her. We understand that sex is essential to good health and as the current and former health ministers, we believe that no one can provide Sufiah with better health education. Anyway, a high sex drive is not uncommon and we look forward to helping Sufiah with her problem, together, if necessary."

The Education Minister and his cousin, the DPM, are also traveling to London to meet Sufiah.

"We actually tried to make an appointment with her for next Saturday night but it seems that our boss has got in ahead of us. She'll only be free on Monday, so we'll be looking to spend some quality time in Soho until then - all expenses paid by our ministries, of course," said the Education Minister with a smirk on his face.

"We intend to get to her bottom, I mean, the bottom of her situation, and convince her to work in Malaysia. We feel that she has many of the right attributes that can ease the pressure on hard things," he added while moving his hands around in his pockets.

The Rural and Regional Development ministry is also sending it's minister, Muhd. Muhd. Taib to meet with Sufiah.

"She's a smart person. We think that she can contribute some ideas to the rising decadence in the rural areas of Malaysia. I hope to see her back in some rural area in Malaysia. I also hope to see her front. I believe we can come to some natural position that is best for both of us," said the Minister with a big grin on his face. "Besides, she can help me with my English and my maths as I'm always confused about the amount of zeroes behind the 1 I can carry overseas."

The Tourism Minister is also one of those who are looking forward to getting some know how from Sufiah. But the cabinet unanimously disallowed this. But knowing the fighter she is she can win most contests uncontested.

When asked if the Agriculture Minister was not a more suitable person, she said, "Trust me. I know babes better than him." She will get an audience with Suffiah, you bet, somehow, sometime!



It is believed that some of the Malaysian politicians who had lost in the last General Elections had already clandestinely met up with Sufiah to get her expertise.

Note: Since the MCA and MIC contributed zero to GE12, Minister of Health's place will be taken by Khir Toyo, since he is a specialist on gums. The study tour is only for UMNO stalwarts who still support the Prime Minister. Minister Taib was only allowed a waist pouch if Mrs Taib allows him to go.


TITLE OF POST INSPIRED BY KHAIIL MOKZANI BAHAR










15 comments:

Frank said...

Zorro

Hilarious!!

Should be cut and paste and sent to all school pupils as examples of the art of using the English language.

Shakespeare could not have done it better.

What do you call it:

"Punting a pun?"

or

"Ducking the Follies?"

Anonymous said...

Maybe those ministers wants to see Sufiah 'in person' because they want to make sure that the pictures are as good as the real person. Hahaha! I dont think we can really trust them...especially Najib and Mat Taib.

Anonymous said...

to help her or help themselves with her?

EdiÁ•ě said...

hahahha...

i would also like to help but lack funds!

Anonymous said...

hahaha.....this posting really made me laugh very very loud!!!
well done!

have a blessed weekend.

winnie

Mr Bojangles said...

Tsk! Tsk!

Its so unbecoming of us. Not giving our wholehearted support to the latest projection of the members of our glorious barisan nasional.

Here we have such upright and outstanding bolehland luminaries falling over each other to plug all near and distant loop holes in their efforts to promote the morality of their fellow citizens, and we unashamedly belittle their noble intentions towards this notorious naturally-endowed nubile native of our blessed nation.

team bsg said...

Any posibility to negotiate some decent discount for us non VIPs ah . We promise to be quick and brisk and no speaking politics one , only much tender genuine love.

Anonymous said...

Whoever said that Math Problem is difficult and not interesting, especially, when taught in English? w9

Anonymous said...

Are they going to help her in a group, or take turns ...LOL...

Anonymous said...

Hey, Aint saving the young innocent and healthy malaysians from their early death in the National Service Program more important?
We cant wait for another 5 years to tell the DPM and moronic Chairman lee to drop this deadly program. Meantime, more kids will drop dead, that I am sure. These two strong proponents care more about cronies' profits than the kids' lifes!

Anonymous said...

tuahyong said....

Zorro, these bloody ministers never learnt how to be thrifty and spending taxpayers' money like their bloody grandpapas' money.
Better think of how to control prices of petrol and gas so the effect spiralling prices snowballing and affecting the poor Rakyats and don't try to go on a "lawatan sambil belajar" free trip on Rakyats' hard earned money!
Pakatan Rakyat, Ayoh! and be the government and stop all these wasteful spending and abuses. Please "korek,korek,korek" their dirty arsses! Be the government as it's now or never like Elvis said!Don't have to convince Sufia as she is a British citizen and of Pakistani descent and there are so many "Sufias" in Malaysia that needs "bantuan"! Moreover she's enjoying herself there!!

Malaysian Joe said...

Uncle Zorro,

They go there to help her or "help" themselves? After they see how pretty Sufiah has turned into.

After all she asked them all to buzz off coz she is happy with her life? So why are these sorry mofos still wanting to go there for? Rekindle Brickendonberry project?

Anonymous said...

Let them go and help themselves. I am sure she is very cooperative; they are VIPs, they 'come' first!

bayi said...

The former and current Ministers of Health have released a joint statement saying, "We believe that we can understand Sufiah's positions better and, maybe, let her know our positions as well by having a face-to-face meeting with her. We understand that sex is essential to good health and as the current and former health ministers, we believe that no one can provide Sufiah with better health education. Anyway, a high sex drive is not uncommon and we look forward to helping Sufiah with her problem, together, if necessary."

What sex positions do you think they have in mind? :)

Anonymous said...

Fuck off!!All those minister just wanna go there for da sake of having a great HOLIDAY!!!!!!