Saturday, September 24, 2011


One year, CSL decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Birthday gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....and he had to move into a BP Hotel.


Shammy and his wife were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in bed.
He turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. He then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at him this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So he said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend Umee."
And that's how the fight started...


A Cabinet Minister took his wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took his order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, BLUE, not rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that's how the fight started.....and she is getting help from UMNO fixer-lawyer, Shaft Abdullah.


Ibby and his wife were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
Ibby asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend... . I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

My God” Ibby said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

If that did not start a fight, she must be as dumb as Ibrahim Ali!


When Jabu’s lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow he always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the car, making tuak…. something more important to him besides his CM. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When he arrived home one day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a minute, and when he came out again he handed her a toothbrush and said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
And that's how the fight started...and he could share this experience with NRC11, Jib’s fan club.


Saturday morning Bung got up early, quietly dressed, and slipped quietly into the garage, loaded his golf gear and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so he pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. He went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipping back into bed...… cuddled up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
His young wife replied, “And can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing in that weather”

And that's how the fight started...but be positive….Datuk T(rio) may have that tape.




His ladyship was hinting about what she wanted for their upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
His lordship bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's how the fight started from the bathroom and into the FLOM office complex.


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's ID to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. .
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
But no fight ensued because it was a brilliant idea! Gotcha!


His wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near 2020 luv.”

And that's how the fight started..... .and he was forced to burn his cross-border matrimonial go-ahead certificate.






baDboyzs said...

more, more !

Anonymous said...

Good ones!

Malaysian said...

Just love it! That's what I need to lighten my weekend, what's with all these ruckus amongst some Pakatan leaders over hudud!

'Very Choooonnnnnn' just to borrow your quote.

Anonymous said...

Excellent dear Zorro. Made my weekend : )

new fart said...

Ha....ha....good stuff! Laughing my head off!

Anonymous said...

First man said: My wife got me to believe in religion.
Second man: Wow! How did she do that?
First man: Before I married her, I did not believe in Hell.

Anonymous said...

kah kah kah kah kah.... another

Anonymous said...

yes uncle zorro, more more!!!!!!


Charlie Oscar said...

PAS Is Telling DAP To Go And "Fly Kite"!!!
You are blogging on Petty stuff!!!
What a disappointment!!!
All the Pembangkang Rakyat (PR) Supporter blogs are avoiding This Topic and You Are No Different!!!, Typical!!!
What A Joke!!!

Sklau said...


One day NaLip walks into Moibank to cash a cheque. Normally
he would have instructed his own staff to do such a menial
task but since he badly wanted all the attention he could
muster before the next General Election, and to sign a few
autographs along the way, he decided it was best he visited
the bank himself and be seen to do what most ordinary folks do.

Upon entering the bank looking pleased as punch and
expecting to be instantly recognised, the conversation
between him and the bank teller goes as follows:

NaLip: Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?

Cashier: It would be a pleasure sir. Could I have your IC please.

NaLip: Frankly I didn’t bring my IC with me as I didn’t
think it was necessary. I’m sure you know who I am, right?

Cashier: Well there are a lot of people who looks like a lot
of people, sir…

(not terribly amused by now)

NaLip: Well! I am of course NaLip, the Prime Minister of
Malaysia!! Really how is it that you don’t know who I am!?

Cashier: Sir, it doesn’t matter whether or not I know who
you are. I’m only an employee here and there are regulations
that the bank imposes that we must follow regardless of who
we serve. As you know banks are burdened by imposters,
forgers, con men etc. So in accordance with banking
regulations, I must insist on seeing some identification.

NaLip: Just ask anyone here at the bank ! I’m sure when they
find out who I am, they will not encumber me with such infantile
request ! I can tell you this. EVERYBODY here knows who I am !

Cashier: Dear sir, we have to abide by the rules. Please
don’t make me lose my job.

(getting very flustered by now)

NaLip: I am ordering you to cash my cheque now!

Cashier: Okay sir, here is what we can do. Please bear with me..

NaLip: *#$%^*.. (mumbling, grouching and getting real

Cashier: Sometime back, a man who claimed to be Tun Ahmad
Tidowi came in to cash a cheque without bringing along any
ID. He too protested just like you did. But before we could
bring in the manager, he was fast asleep and snoring over
the counter...while standing, mind you. Instantly we knew
who he was and we cashed his cheque.

Cashier: Another time, the same situation occurred with this
Tan Sri with shifty eyes who claimed that he was the former
Chief Minister of Malacca. Without his ID, we had to call
the manager. Well, what do you know? Just as our manager was
walking over, a woman standing 2 feet away at the adjacent
counter swung a mighty slap across this Tan Sri's face
and then planted the heel of her stiletto right bewteen his
legs. The man rolled over twice, limped halfway across
the hall and collapsed into one of the chairs over there.
The woman caught him caressing her 15 year old daughter
while she was cashing her cheque. By then everyone including
the customers knew who he was. We had no choice but to cash
his cheque since he was indeed the former CM
of Malacca.

NaLip: Look, I can't do that sleep-standing trick nor do I
fondle Mongols..I mean minors !!! (looking real desperate

Cashier: So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and
only you? Since you say you are the Prime Minister of
Malaysia, surely you can tell me or act out something that
proves who you are...

(minutes later after thinking real hard with beads of sweat
now rolling down his forehead)

NaLip: Honestly there is nothing that comes to my
mind..nothing at all. I don’t have a single clue! I can’t
think of even one thing I can do, say, or express to you to
show that I am the PM. I feel like a real idiot here...

Cashier: Thank you Mr Prime Minister ! Now, would you like
that in large or small bills?

Anonymous said...

Great Uncle Zorro. Now I know why this country is badly managed.

new fart said...

SKLau....ha....ha....classic man! Tat's a really good one! Thanks!