Sunday, November 21, 2010


Don't Open Your Mouth Too Much !

author unknown

One night at a party following a successful flight a young pilot, also a student of medicine, talked about how imperfectly constructed is the human jaw. "For example,", he said," if you were to insert a relatively large object in your mouth, like say, an ordinary 60 Watt lightbulb, you would not be able to take it out again." Everyone laughed at this joke and the drinking continued.

But when the party was over and everyone had gone their separate ways, one unfortunate remembered the light bulb story and said to himself, "That can't be true, if it can go in, it has to be able to come out again. It can't be dependent upon direction." And without delay he stood on his toilet bowl and removed the light bulb above. At first he couldn't get it into his mouth, but after some struggle and effort it slipped in perfectly. But he couldn't get it back out again! What to do now? He tried desperately with all his might to extricate the bulb.

About an hour later his roommate returned from a different party and was confronted with a strange sight. His friend had something that looked like the end of a light bulb sticking out of his mouth.

"What's going on here?", he asked.

Instead of an answer he received only a sort of mumbling. Following a dialogue of hand gestures, he pulled out a pad and pencil and wrote out his tight situation. The posssibility of breaking the bulb was ruled out right off as too dangerous, the shards could be life threatening. The best solution was to go to the emergency surgery ward at the hospital.

So they set out by public transport to the hospital. Even though it was already late at night, the bus was full of people. Our patient tried covering his mouth with his hand and giving embarrassed looks at the people staring at the bulb sticking partially out of his mouth.

The doctor at the hospital examined the bulb in disbelief. As he was a fresh graduate, he called in his colleague, an experienced surgeon. The surgeon stated that throughout his career had not seen a case like this, but that he works with jaws all the time and that it would be painful. The unfortunate nodded in assent and so the surgeon pressed and pulled at the right places, dislocated the jaw, removed the unbroken bulb and re-set the jaw. In order for the patient's tendons to heal properly, the surgeon bound up his chin with a bandage.

By then it was too late to take public transport home, so the two friends treated themselves to a taxi ride, happy that the problem had been resolved. The talkative driver started a conversation with them right off and wanted to know what had happened to the guy with the bandaged head this late at night. They told him the whole story. The cab driver looked over the lightbulb they handed him as evidence.

"But that's not possible!, if it goes in it has to come out!"

The two friends didn't even have a chance to warn before the driver had stuck the bulb into his mouth. He pulled the cab over to the curb, and after several futile attempts at removing the bulb, he begged the two friends to take him to the jaw expert. Everyone can surely imagine the expression on the surgeon's face ...!



To all readers! Don't try it!

Not on yourself or on others.

This is not a joke, though it may seem so at first.

And most certainly don't tell this story in the presence of children or defiant politicians.


Jong said...

That irresponsible old man who ignite the fire in pkr should have had a 80watt bulb shaft into his mouth!
At his age, how could he not have known it would come to this when Monkeys see, monkeys do!

Anonymous said...

no need for log story.

just get zaid to keep his mouth shut.

Anonymous said...

In 1960, the ISA was passed by the government of the day to deter communist activity. Today, it is an irrelevant archaic draconian law which is kept to stifle lawful political opposition and democratic citizen activity.

Of course, one would not expect Komtar Merchants Association (KMA) vice-chief Abdul Ghani Mohammad Jiman Ghani and his paid goons to have the intellect to understand this. They only blindly accept what they are told by their political masters in Umno that the ISA is good for protecting the "country, race and religion".

Nur Kasih said...

The government-controlled media have begun running optimistic reports about the ruling federal coalition with general election looming.

Umno owns and controls both the country’s largest media group, Media Prima Berhad (MPB) which owns English and Bahasa Malaysia newspapers, television and radio stations; and the Utusan Group, which publishes both Utusan Malaysia and the Kosmo tabloid. MCA now directly owns The Star and several radio stations and magazines while MIC owns the Tamil Nesan.

BN has told its media to play up “feel good”, “positive” reports and to find flaws of its political foes for the next few months ahead of a likely March 2011 federal election.

So Zorro should step away from the Zaid case (dah jelak!!!) to focus on countering the so-called 'good news' from the mainstream media.

bumi-non-malay said...

Can't stop it if DUMB BOY wants to try it. In fact it could get ambitious and try to put those STREETS Light bulb into his mouth and Claim it in Guinese Book of World record like so many Shameless UMNO malays - (The thief/pencuri of Orang Asli bumiputera status). Can't help but watch in Ridicule as Najib trying to woo India to make Malaysia the Asean Gateway. Stupid UMNO-BN...India can go direct to Asean Country and avoid your Corruption under your UMNO-Islamic Cult Ideology. Everyday its either Malaysia a HUB, Centre of Excellence, Bio-tech....etc. I think Malaysia is a Hub for Stupid Malay-UMNO Racist Leaders. Mugabe of Zimbabwe was the first maybe Fiji Binimarama....wonder who is next?? We need to rid Malaysia of DUMB, STUPID and Racist UMNO leaders and SUpporters. A country cannot go forward with stupidity and Racism....Malaysia is a Classic Case!! Get Rid of UMNO Racist whatever it takes. Nothing else really your little Mat need to elaborate!!

new fart said...

I think all those mamaks in Penang should have 1 bulb stuck up their asses instead of their mouths!

Anonymous said...

STOP buying their food then !