Wednesday, May 23, 2007

BEWARE THESE WOLVES IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING.

THIS POSTING IS DEDICATED TO JUNE, DAPHNE, LI TSIN AND OTHER FEMALE BLOGGERS WHO ARE BEING HARASSED, OR WILL BE TARGETED IN FUTURE.

He : Can I buy you a drink?
She : Actually, I'd rather have the money.

He : I am a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
She : I am a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

He : Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
She : Must have been once. I never make the mistake twice.

He : How did you get to be so beautiful?
She : I must have been given our share.

He : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She : Sorry, I am having a headache this weekend.

He : Go, don't be shy. Ask me out.
She : OK, Get out.

He : Can I have your name?
She : Why? Don't you have one?

He : Your face must have turned a few heads.
She : And your face must have turned a few stomachs.

He : I think I could make you very happy?
She : Why? Are you leaving?

He : What would you say if I asked you to marry me.
She : Nothing. I can't laugh and talk at the same time.

He : Shall we go for a movie?
She : I have already seen it.

He : Where have you been all my life?
She : Hiding from people like you.

He : Haven't I seen you some place before?
She : Yes. That is why I don't go there anymore.

He : Is this seat empty?
She : Yes and this one will be empty if you sit down.

He : So, what do you do for a living?
She : I am a female impersonator.

He : Hey babe, what's your name?
She : DO NOT ENTER.

He : Your body is like a temple.
She : Sorry, there are no services today.

He : If I could see you naked, I'd die.
She : If I see you naked I would probably die laughing.



31 comments:

BigDogDotCom said...

Yes, men are sexists! Period.

Do not try to hide that and be pretentious men are NOT sexists. They are. Each and everyone of them. Even then faggot ones too. By being DRAGs, they are embracing sexism.

Yes, men think along the lines of their dickies. They ’strip naked’ women a lot, even in the most formal meetings. Yes, the most honourable CEOs with all the titles do that too. Can’t help it. They see the outlines, their brain wonders and their imaginations run wild within their own sexists system.

Are they pervert? Maybe. Depends who you talk to. The men says “Its healthy”. You talk about this in the pubs, they (the listeners) will ask you for details!

Most probably the only places men do not talk about women and their anatomy are in the suraus and masjids. Everywhere else, I am sorry, men talk and discuss about these things, sometime at great lengths. From a second form dorm in the most privileged boarding school to the changing room of some of the preferred gentlemen only clubs in town.

Live with it. Men do this.

Me? Why am I talking about this? Coz I am a dog!

Hahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaa :)

zorro said...

wwwwOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO000000000000000 big dog.....growwllllllllllllllllll

lucia said...

101% agree with bigdog. glad it came from a man. so honest and so... sexist. :)

good one liners there, zorro. (chin ho liao). might come in handy for me. er... no lah... because i am not a young blogger, nobody would want to pick me up. heh.

zorro said...

Lucia, you never know...in this world where MEN still think that women cannot walk together with men.Lest I forget, you did a great job on 19th and you come all the way from Penang for this. Kata Tak Nak is a blogger from Penang....I made sure I met up with him during my one day stop in Penang. He will be thrilled if you visit his blog....hardcore MU fan and a chegu with a wide world-vision.We might make a trip to Penang to meet Penang bloggers and also to makan.Till then ciao Lucia.

BigDogDotCom said...

Don't get me wrong. I am a believer of women assuming the position of command. In 2001, I was the first person to congratulate Dato' Dr. Zeti Akhtar Aziz, then Deputy Governor, Bank Negara being elevated as the First Central Bank Governor in the Commonwealth.

I am all for women being the Speaker of Parliament, Chief Justice, Chief Secretary to the Government, DG of Health Services, DG of Education, Malaysian High Commissioner to London, CEO of Synergy Bhd or MAS, CEO of Shell South East Asia etc. Promote them all, I say!

Give them the opportunity and chance to manage, for a change. We, men have been doing this since the times of Adam and we've fucked the world, too many times over. We killed, messed up the environment, consumed far too much resources to sustain. So lets see the women do it, instead.

Its just despite all that, men are still sexists! They will be sexists, indefinitely!

Wooooooooooohhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Nora aka Anon Fm. Miri said...

Hey brother,

So when are you going for the RM10 for four?

Still waiting and counting... tik tok..tic...tok....

zorro said...

Big Dog....my sentiments always. HIDUP WANITA..WWW000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

zorro said...

Nora....Rocky, Shar101 and I are waiting for you to bargain it to 10 for 5. If anybody can do that , you can!!!!!!wwwoooooooooooooooooooooo
as Big Dog will croon.

lucia said...

don't worry bigdog, i did not get you wrong at all. i like what you said (1st comment) very much as it is so true.

thanks for the bouquet re: the gathering. it does looks like i was the only one from penang that day...?

zorro, i had visited kata tak nak's blog once before when he first started blogging. ok i'll drop in again once in a while.

so you coming to penang? good! can gather some penang bloggers to meet over penang's good food.

zorro said...

Lucia, we will be looking forward to the trip....nothing firm yet but we will appear.Kata Tak Nak (chegu Nazir Khan) brother passed away this afternoon.

Jun-E said...

Yo Zorro =)

He : So, what do you do for a living?
She : I am a female impersonator.

Wahahahahahahaha

*regains composure*

Thanks bro! (And did I hear Penang? Penanngggg?!?!!)

Jun-E said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J.T. said...

Zorro, those are good comebacks. Priceless!
I am glad BigDog admitted how a man thinks because I wanted that confirmed. I had an inkling that not all is pure up in the windmills of a man's mind.
Having said that, men still fascinate me.
By the way, I cannot speak for other women, but I have a fairly active mind myself. haha
Thanks Zorro, as always, you rule!

Daily Nibbler said...

Whats this? Suggestions for pick-up lines?

Wattahack? said...

another wolf showed up this time under the name of PABS....

Anonymous said...

Fuyoh! sungguh macam "Drama Minggu Ini"! Ku ingat ni symptom of not enuff attention IRL! Good job Dr. zorro for coreect diagnosis and bagi the appropriate treatment!


sensasi

BigDogDotCom said...

J.T.,

I thought I was doing that, 25 years ago, because I was still going through adolescence and my body sending all these imbalance hormonal signals to different limbs, including my 'third leg'. Puberty was such a difficult period for an 'inexperienced' bloke, like me :)

Now that I am fast approaching forty, its even amazingly far worse! My vocabularies have expanded, there's internet now (Thank God!), I am allowed to hv credit cards (comes in handy when you check into a hotel for a few short hours in the afternoon) and my confidence level to chat up a woman is very high (thanks to the improved testerone level and I am convinced something to do with the polluted water we drink everyday!).

I am doomed!

Woooooooooooooooohhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

How wrong was I? By a thousand miles.

All the holy water from Euphrates, Tigris and Nile cannot cleanse the impurities I hv in my head!

Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahaa

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Zorro!

Muahahahahahahahahaha...

Why is it that even if you read these kinda things a few millions times, they're still funny? I had soo many of this circulating in my email for soo long!

But a big thank you to BigDog for his comments (there I thought there were 'decent' ones! *Ahem*)...Me thinks it's best for me to steer clear of men for a while...

And thanks for the dedication, Zorro!

zorro said...

Big Dog, you are now knighted as Top Dog by women in cyberspace. Arise Sir Top Dog...wwwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daph....steering clear??? depending on power steering or manual? Currently two characters all women should stay clear is that bunged and his sidekick....read Star columnist Vera Pandiyan for a good update.

J.T. said...

Oh Zorro! Sir Top Dog speaks to me. What ever shall I say?
*hands on forehead ala Scarlett O'Hara swooning*

Sir Top Dog, I do declare that the onset of puberty in a man is actually the start of all his nonsense in life. Tell the young ones do not be fooled by raging teenage hormones. The hormones never stop over flowing. As you said it - vocabularies are expanded. Yes, expanded along the way so there is enough to describe what is going on in his head every 10 seconds. (take that sentence any way you want! haha)
It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance Sir Top Dog. Got to skip along now. Oh.. what's that playing on my MP3 player.. well, how appropriate - 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' :)

Kata Tak Nak said...

I came in or sober and sad wanting to thank you for your condolences and then I saw those gems of yours and the familiar howl. Sure lift my spirits up.

He: Could you please tell me to time?
She: Time to leave!

zorro said...

Chegu I am happy you are back to your old self. He is safe now and also enjoying the last He/She you just contributed. Holiday begains, are you heading this way to KL?

Daphne Ling said...

POWER steering! Larrrriiiii...Jauh-jauh...*Shrieks*

BigDogDotCom said...

Zorro,

On behalf of the Federation of Horny Male Dogs and Doggie-Doers Online, we welcome you to our think-with-your-genitalia fraternity. Because we chose to think with our dickies and tummies instead of brain up there in the temple, any cock ups are high acceptable and we toast what ever it is that cross our pea sized thoughtable minds!

You are an honorary dog now, St. Bernard! Woof, woof..........

Esteem ladies of this Zorro's blog,

I am so sorry for all these nonsical and pre-school indulgence you are witnessing here, but we are nothing but dogs and this exactly how a man's brain go about, every single day of the pathetic life.

zorro said...

Thanks for the honor. Fact is me Bernard is the only Roman Catholic Dog, the St. Bernard with a casket of cognac for stranded pilgrims in the alps. To continue the tradition I carry a waist casket too for emergencies....stranded thirsty pilgrims and to disinfect wounds. WOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF(in caps because me big as in BIG breed.WOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

shar101 said...

So you guyz are busy here chatting up the ladiez ah?

He: If you were my lady, I'd put you up on a pedestal.
She: Just get me a bike and I'd pedal far, far away.

He: Are you spoken for?
She: *Puts a Glock handgun on the table*

He: Hi there.
She: No, no. You, over there. Way over there.

There's nothing like a little self-humility for a guy to look and feel great. I hope it's the same with the ladiez.

See ya tonight, Zorro. We got to rustle up some goldie stuff, don't we. Captain coming?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Can't go anywhere. I my will be admitted this tuesday and will have her ovaries removed on wednesday. Its the fibroid thing and its getting bigger so after 3 years they say take it off. It was them who said it was ok to leave it be now they say it is not ok.

zorro said...

OK then chegu. Yes that is common amongst women. Did you seek second opinion? However, I am sure you have sought best advice. Family will shoot prayers for Puan Nazir.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Thanks, know could count on you.

A Voice (from the Brick) said...

Ah ah ah ah ah ...

This is a good posting.

Anonymous said...

Hi Zorro,

I'm not responding to your posting but rather making a request for you to get in touch with me.

I hope you will as I have something to discuss with you. But as you don't know me, I'll understand if you choose not to.

My name is Kee Thuan Chye and I can be contacted at

ktchye@rocketmail.com

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,
Chye