Friday, March 30, 2012

A TABLE OF........?

The English language has some wonderfull collective nouns for the various groups of animals and people:

We are all familiar with

a School of fish

and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is:

a Pride of lions,

a Gaggle of women a Herd of cows,

a Flock of chickens,

a Rope of onions

a Balance of Accountants

a Bevy of Alcoholics ( I honestly thought it belonged to beauties!)

a Clutch of Breasts ( respond ladies…..)

a Linkage of webmasters

a Break of Winds (fart chamber ad?)

a Murder of crows

(as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens),

an Exaltation of doves

and, presumably because they look so wise:

a Congress of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons.

They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates.

And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not !

a Parliament.


I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out from our Parliament, yah?

You just can’t make this stuff up.

But the Whistler and I made up this one after some abrasive argument over brunch…….

How about a table of misfits?

You ARE invariably the COMPANY you keep!

The Whistler wanted REJECTS instead of MISFITS.

But I said they are not rejected….a supposedly “reputable” lawyer did not reject these misfits.

The Whistler paid for brunch and fishing out something from his pocket saying,”You pick up the drinks tab and you get this piece of paper.”

The IGP recently called together former Police Chiefs and gave them these SB intelligence report for their consideration and feedback:

GE13 predictions:

No hope of gaining Penang and Kelantan from Opposition

Kedah 50/50 (first figure Pakatan)

Perak will go back ROYALLY to Pakatan

Selangor 60/40

NS 60/40

Johor – close with edge for incumbent. Jui Meng may spoil things for Pakatan.

Terengganu – no info yet.

Malacca remains BN

Pahang playing Russian roulette with Lynas.

Singapore Intelligence, says the Whistler gives Pakatan a big plus for GE13

Military Intelligence – NA as they are busy buying arms.HERE


malchindian said...

Surprisingly the dictionary points to a clutch of eggs. A clutch of breasts?? What were you two drinking with brunch??

I give you A++ for the parliament of baboons. More apt than the given "troop" or "flange". And you can also apply coalition of cheetahs on the same mob.

The SB heads up omitted East Malaysia. Have they divorced the Peninsularians already?

zorro said... lah under "some that might be....

even a clutch of car mechanics...

we were only on gin...only one each.

malchindian said...

Grazie. On to it.

p.s. the table of misfits was apt but considering their sliding karma ranking, they are but a pack of pariahs!


Jong said...

How about a float of Turds?

W aah, those worthless, wretched, contemptible; scorned yet still floating around to keep each other company!

Anonymous said...

Uncle Zorro, so sure of Selangor 60/40? :) Many also said within the grapevine that Selangor will fall with the help of phantom voters. Anyways, God Knows Best, we just give ABU ABU ABU!

Anonymous said...

BN will win for sure because many PATI have been issued ICs and EC will place them on strategic voting places to help BN.

Anonymous said...


I think the Johor mufti is scared of you because you are a Christian and a threat to the Muslim?

Maybe Finas may soon get the malay film producers to use Christianity instead of Pontianak to scare the malay audience to get box-office records?

Samad said...

After over 50 years of leading the nation, what has Umno achieved for the Malays? Development?

1) Fake ketuanan melayu ego
2) seige mentality
3) tongkat dependant
4) Christianphobia

Tak malu ke, der?

Sheik Ramlie said...

It always the ultra-Muslim who are creating a lot of chaos & tensions among the Malaysian rakyat. But the majority of Muslim in this country are liberal & pragmatic in embracing their belief. They are strong in their personal faith in Islam and they do not condone this type of seminars. Malay Muslim now are more open & knowledgeable and they have neighbours,friends & business partners who are Christian by faith. All these so call ustaz (Mufti Johor) lived in `solitaire` rejecting the outside world and they use religion only as a means of self gain. I believe these ustaz doe not represent the majority Muslim in M`sia!

Jeremy said...

Finland has Angry Bird.

But Malaysia has Angry Lobster to save Pengerang!

Stop the Petrochemical project In Pengerang.
Save Environment & To Save Pengerang citizens.

Pengerang is the small town in Johor. It was a beautiful village, the local famous seafood is Lobster. Currently, goverment insist to built the Petrochemical project without listening from the local peoples, a lot of Pengerang citizens have to sacrifice to move the house soon.

The project started in year 2011 November & now the beautiful seaside has been destroyed.

manghup said...

Zorro Sir, can we still get copies of 'the Student's Companion' ?

Anonymous said...

bro, my daughter introduced me to this;

i recommend it for a good Sunday morning giggle.

the word "senah" should be changed to "shahrizat" though.


Anonymous said...

Deputy defense minister talk cox.... tell him to go and read military strategy and stop the rubbish.
Same goes to the X RMAF assoc president who are you... doo ba da bedooo who are you?
The President of PBTM is another guy talking cox....

Anonymous said...

Zorro, you talk cock again.

Misfits??? Hello, they came from PR in the first place!

Chua Jui Meng is another crook , now in PR.

So, dont talk cock and say that UMNO is corrupted. Your bloody PR is just as dirty as well.