Thursday, February 12, 2009

JUST A PROBABLE POSSIBILITY!

HANTU flew in wirthout much fanfare this time, clutching an envelope and demanded that I not open the envelope until he said his piece. Of late I do not want to argue with him. Of late he lands on my shoulders and his claw can be very intimidating. As such I have learnt to treat him as an equal and acquised to his wish.

"There is this thing nagging at me. IT IS A PROBABLE POSSIBILITY THAT PAK LAH WILL NOT RELINQUISH HIS PMship on 1st April 2009" he hooted, "you can read my prediction." He flew onto the bar, lifted the lid and had his share of shashimi and wasabe.

This is his take:

He strode into HIS office jauntily at 7.00am on 1st April to get a feel on his room before eveerybody came clocked in at 8:00am. Mother of Moses, he saw Pak Lah seated on his old chair and the banner behind Pak Lah had this distrubing message: HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY JIBBY. He was dumbfounded.

Pak Lah spoke: I will try to be brief so that my message will register. I know you have a DREAM. But dreams can turn into a nightmare. After I agreed to speed up your entrance to this office I have been observing you closely.

You began to show your strong arm. People were arrested under the ISA. Anyone who spoke against you were tailed by your goons. You began to see the power of money.
Who believed that Bala would one day make a SD about you and Atantuya and the next day he went back on his words. And now he has dissapeared. If he walked the street today, people would be less suspicious.
The Rakyat points the finger at YOU if you have not realised that.

Then there was the Permatang Pauh By-election. Before that you planted your boy Saiful
to implicate the PP candidate. The boy even swore on the Quran. You too did the same. If you are not guilty of anything, why swear on the Holy Book.
The rakyat at PP showed their displeasure. Even our own people shunned us.
Since the new MP of Kuala Trengganu was a clean guy you decided on something familiar.....bribe your way to victory....even to the extent of giving RM300 to some journalists. You brought into KT some 7000 cops, and three helicopters. I tend to belive the bloggers because they put up pictures of the happenings in KT. You planned it such with the EC to prevent 3000 (majority Chinese) from coming back to vote, one week before their Reunion Dinners. Yet we lost big time.


I don't want to say to much about your romantic tryst and escapades. And then last week you did the most despicable thing. You went in through the backdoor, rewarded t the defectors and whispered some thing to the Sultan and viola, you got BN to govern Perak.
BN has governed for over 50 years and we have won fairly with the help of the EC. Your engineering to snatch Perak is not our democratic process.
We did things subtly. You were too blatant. I can imagine what will happen in the the two Bukits' by-elections. You don't buy people, even if you have to twist arms. People got conscience.
Yes you have too much to swallow.....history is not what is written but history is what happened! I have this gut feel that Nizar is PM material (one year is good enough to know the mettle in a man of calibre...yes I had the opportunity to sepnd some minutes with him the night of the crisis at his residence) and if PAS is brave enough, they must pit Nizar as MP of Bukit Gantang (v.Feb 9 posting.)
So Jibby, you have too much luggage coming into this high office. I am remaining as PM until you come good and rid yourself of those excess baggage. The constitution does not say that the President of UMNO is ipso facto the Prime Minister. Thats tradition, but tradition can be discarded for the good of the country. You may leave now as Deputy Prime Minster today. One more thing. Remember your mentor got rid of two Deputy Prime Ministers. Begone and behave yourself.

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Pics donated by Bodohland, Daniel, Mob1900 and Justice.

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UPDATE THIS 13 FEB MORNING

Go HERE and dont forget to look at "Who Will Be PM After March?"

HANTU IS SNIGGERING.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

" see, RPK, stcin & many have encouraged me to stay till GE13 & jin also dun want 'round the world in 80 days'....., therefore i'm sorry
...so sorry ... & i no more ZZZZing since taking ipohkopiputih , understand !!"

Starmandala said...

That's giving Pak Blah too much credit, methinks, though I'd certainly prefer to put up with Sleepyhead a wee bit longer than with Jibby for even one nanosecond!

Anonymous said...

Interesting scenario!!!!

Well all Badawi needs is 30 BN MPs' together with all PR to vote in the Dewan showing him confidence and he will stay on as PM irrespective of najib being UMNO President!!!

One wonders whether Badawi would want to stay on in first instance and of course whether he and KJ can still get support of 30 BN MPs' post 31st March.

Time will tell. Ciao

Anonymous said...

PS -

Hows that for true "Unity Govt" -
30 BN MPs' and PR MPs' with AAB as PM and AB as DPM.

kekekekekeke - wont that be a hoot for Hantu

Anonymous said...

Dear Zorro

Together with your comrades RPK,Haris Ibrahim and a number of people who are wanna-be's,you have successfully destroyed Abdullah Badawi.Your gang are now working on destroying Najib.After Najib,who next on your list?

At our age (you,RPK,Haris and me are 55+) shouldn't we use our last remaining breathe to built something for our granchildren to remember us.

Destroying is easy but building is the real challenge.Be the fighter that you are but remember that to be remembered as a fighter,like Tun Ismail, you don't have to be a destroyer.Tun is remembered for the things he helped to build and never for anything that he destroyed(not that I am saying he does)

Why don't you take a young leader under your wings and guide him/her to be a better leader for the future.

Mentor people like Nik Nazmi or Hannah Yeoh ( or whoever you want)help them quantum leap with your vast experience.Guide them not to make the same mistake other leaders have made. I can remember a number of them who were full of ideals when they were young but were misguided when they were in position of power.

Be positive,love and not hate.

Don't die a bitter man!

Anonymous said...

How can you not give the coming of the UMNO messiah, with a red carpet welcome to his 'lost people'.
"In the kingdom of the blinds, the one eyed is the king"

KIMHO8 said...

Najis can't wait to be the Poo Master.

TheWhisperer said...

Welcome back, Uncle Bernard.

They told me you had an OD of marrows. These marrows when enter into our system, need to find a way out. So try commensurate your marrow intake with your outlet system.

Glad that you are back in good health.

Fishing?

Anonymous said...

What’s all the hoopla about a Catholic publication in this country wanting to use the word “Allah” to signify the Christian God in its Bahasa Malaysia section? This "Allah" connotation would ostensibly extend to Bahasa Malaysia Bibles and at mass and prayer sessions conducted in the National Language.

Why this sudden urge to write, read, converse and preach in Bahasa Malaysia? How come the very people who couldn’t even give you the time of day or simple street directions in the National Language suddenly fight tooth and nail to use the word “Allah” in Bahasa Malaysia Christian publications and Bibles that they themselves will never read, let alone comprehend?

Who would be the end-user of these Malay Bibles? Uncle Ignatius Lourdesamy down the street? What about his extended family who all grew up speaking and reading and writing English (and perhaps some Tamil though they may not admit it) and whose only exposure to Bahasa Malaysia was at school and in filling various borangs and permohonans at the pejabat kerajaan? You truly believe these Christian Anglophiles would be reciting their holy scriptures in Malay? Praising "Allah" and the Son of "Allah" in a language synonymous with Malay hegemony and stuffy government bureaucracy?


“Allah" is the Arabic word for The God, not just any God, and is thought to derive from the prefix al ("the") and the generic ilah ("god"). Hence, the La ilaha il Allah ("There is no god but Allah") in the first half of the Islamic Shahada. What about Arabic Bibles? Do Christian Arabs use "Allah" in their scriptures? Sure, Arab language Catholic, Coptic and Orthodox scriptures indeed use the term "Allah." But the issue here is not about usage of "Allah" in Arabic Bibles. It is about Christian literature written in Bahasa Malaysia, yes Malay, Melayu, the Bahasa Kebangsaan. And this is about the Malay Bible, the Kitab Injil Melayu.


Shouldn't the Malay language Bible carry a Malay name for this Christian God in view of the unequivocal fact that the Arabic "Allah" has always been regarded as The God of the Muslim majority in this country, not necesssarily in other countries, but in this nation of ours? O.k., what then is the generic word for "God" in Bahasa Malaysia? "Allah"? No, as mentioned, that's Arabic for The God. Would Hindus and Buddhists and Sikhs and Taoists and various traditional faiths dotting our hinterland also regard "Allah" as their God or supreme deity? No. They have their own Gods with their own God-names since antiquity. O.k., then why should some Christian denominations in this country demand the right to use "Allah" in their Malay literature? Isn't there a more accurate generic Malay term for this Christian deity to match the generic English term "God"? Yeah, how do you express a non-Islamic "God" in Malay?

Is this the issue?


Is this what the masalah is all about?

You know why this became a masalah?

Because you church people are largely language retards when it comes to Bahasa Malaysia. Your vocabulary of 200 words couldn't possibly fathom the lexiconical dexterity of our National Language, and with your lazy, cincai and typical tidak apa way to problem solving, you just curi and hantam whatever fits your needs -- in this case equating my Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala to your own deity and holy beings.

Listen, the generic word for "God" in Bahasa Malaysia is “Tuhan.”

Yes Tuhan. Repeat after me: TU-HAN. No not TIU, its TU. Again, TU-HAN.

Cannot be that hard lah. No "r" or "d" or "sh" to twist your short tongue.

You can partake in your Tuhan to your heart's content now. You can pooja as much of this Tuhan as you want, and can knot parables of sons and virgin mothers and assorted miracles for this Tuhan of yours. I can live with that. No issue. In the name of God ... oops I mean, Tuhan, lets all now be productive at work/business and get on with our lives.

So it's settled then. Hallelujah! Praise the ....... errr "Tuhan." Yes. Hallelujah. Praise the Tuhan! Janis Joplin's cult song would now be, "Oh Tuhan, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz ....?" I like.



"Like this cannot maaa. Like this where got one ..."




Huh? Apa? Tak setuju?

No deal? Tak puas hati? Some of you still not satisfied?

You still want my "Allah"?

"Tuhan" not good enough for your supreme being and son?

Still want your day in court? Still want to be an agent for turmoil and conflict in this country?

Hey, I thought the generic Malay "Tuhan" was the perfect literal translation of the generic English “God”? “Oh my God” would then be “Ya Tuhan” to the Christian Bahasa Malaysia speakers. "Son of God" would be the Anak of this generic Tuhan. Do you really believe "Anak Allah" would make sense, especially to the Malays and Borneo natives that you plan to Christianise?

Why this insistence on "Allah"?

Would the religious experience of Malaysian Christians be less profound if my Allah is not used in your Malay scriptures? Is this a case of God-envy then? You have Malay-envy, NEP-envy, National Language-envy ... and now you are afflicted by a case of God-envy.

Ok, ok, if you really must worship a supreme being you want to call "Allah" to the extent of going to court for this holy privilege and creating a ruckus for the world to see, KijangMas has a solution for your troubled soul. Become Muslims lah! Duhh!

Yeah, you can then face Allah in prayer five times a day and praise and glorify Allah the Merciful and the Compassionate every moment of your mortal existence on this Bumi. Heck, throw in some cultural affinities (on top of your language conversion since you all have seen the holy light and longed for prayers in Malay), you could even be called Bumiputras in your MyCard, and we will be one big happy family, sharing the Tuhan-given social privileges, free money, discounts, tongkats and all. This marks the end of our Racial Polarisation. Alhamdulillah!



"No way la dey!"




Apa? Also don't want? Masih tak setuju?

Still want to go to court? Haiya, why you fellas like to go to court ah? I thought you people don't trust our justice system? Bias lah, tipu lah, berat sebelah lah. So why still want to go to the Mahkamah? To make a mockery of the issue? To purposely subject my Tanah Air to ridicule in the world press? That I don't like.

Listen up, why don't we do something better than a "bias" Malaysian Mahkamah can do for you. Yes, we go to your ultimate Mahkamah. No, not the Queen of England lah dey. Itu sudah subcon to the “England Trained Barrister” fruitcakes of Hindraf. We can do better than that. We go straight to Vatican City. Yes, the Holy See, the abode of the Pope. Happy now? We shall petition Pope Benedict XVI for the Catholic Church to use “Allah” in reference to your God in every bible on this planet, irrespective of language. So not just the Malay version will use "Allah." The English, Spanish, French, Russian, Swahili, Patagonian, Hottentot and Inuit version will use "Allah" as well. Brilliant ah? Don’t thank me. Thank your fellow concerned citizens here.

You think this is a joke? Do you know that similar thoughts had been expressed by no less than a Roman Catholic Bishop in the Netherlands? Yes, Bishop Martinus Muskens of the Dutch diocese of Breda proposed that people of all faiths refer to God as “Allah” to foster understanding. He said: “Allah is a very beautiful word for God. Shouldn't we all say that from now on we will name God Allah?” So what are you waiting for Ignatius Lourdesamy and Ezekiel Tan? Sign the petition!

Ok? Kau tim?

Apa? Tak mau? Tak boleh?

Oh I see, you want "Allah" only in the Malay Bibles but not in the English, Mandarin or Tamil versions? So you can pick and choose your God's name as you like, depending on your target audience? Hmm, how so flexible, so convenient, ........ so sly and cunning.

In that case, I think a dialogue with you people would be futile.

Perhaps it's time for the TRUTH.

Want the truth? Mau tau betul punya cerita?

Folks, you know the REAL reason these zealots are demanding a Bahasa Malaysia Bible complete with the Arabic “Allah”?

For the Malaysian Christians out there?

Really?

For the types that do their best to mimic what they perceive as “Christian” culture and symbolisms such as the American/Western concocted Santa Claus and reindeer and Christmas Tree and milky white cherubs (anyway, why can’t cherubs be like this and also contemplate this) and happy little elves running around? The types that take pride in their English, the language of their holy scriptures? The type that either refuse or unable to string a simple Bahasa Malaysia sentence? The type that would only use the Malay language, pidgin style, to reprimand their maids and gardeners and to cuss the traffic cop on the street after dishing out RM50 in order to cheat the nation of RM300?

So suddenly these people underwent a Spiritual Linguistic Awakening, a lighting bolt that gave them the irresistible urge to pray together in their gerejas in glorious Bahasa Malaysia, in the Malay language that they hitherto abhor and oppose? Hallelujah!!! Praise the Tuhan!

Podaaaah!!!




Yup, ini semua tipu. Ini semua drama. Ini semua niat tak baik, loyar burok kata mala fide.

You really want to know why we now face groups of zealots bent on inundating our Tanah Air with Malay Injils at all costs, no matter the social repercussions? Betul mau tahu?

Not yet. Tunggu dulu.

Let’s work towards the answer with another question.

Who would likely read a publication, any publication, written in Bahasa Malaysia, in the Malay language?

The Archbishop and his army of priests and nuns?

The current congregation?

Devotees such as Teresa Kok and Charles Santiago and Irene Fernandez?

My old neighbour Maximillian Dominic Putucheary, the Johnny Walker connoisseur who claimed he is more English than the Englishmen?

What about your typical Joshua Nathaniel Luke Ying Siew Heng, the type that carries several garbage bags full of grievances against his “Malay oppressors” who finds solace in his English-language hymns at his Sunday church service up an SS2 PJ shophouse? Huh? Joshua Ying here also has a sudden urge to praise "Allah's" glories in Bahasa Malaysia as well?

Betul ka?

No!

O.k. now the TRUTH …….

They want the Bible to be in Bahasa Malaysia – in Malay – because they want to REACH OUT to the Melayus. Yes, they want the Melayus to be "saved", to be loved, to hear the word of their “Allah.”

Why is this happening now? Why this sudden push to print Malay bibles complete with “Allah” as the Christian God?

Christianity reached our shores with the Portuguese 500 years ago, and throughout the ages (until now) we have never heard of anyone seriously demanding a Malay Bible (at least not publicly) or groups of Christian devotees tenaciously insisting on denoting their God as “Allah.”

Yeah, why now? Why so insistent? For who? Demanded by who?

You want to know?

Actually, this is part of a long-term plan, a global agenda, towards the Christianisation of the World. The Malay Archipelago holds one of the biggest chunks of non-Christians around, what these zealots call the Unreached Peoples. Scriptures in the lingua franca of these people would be a crucial enabler to brainwash and convert them. Adopting the word “Allah” for their deity would be the coup de grace. Why? These missionaries would then be able to run circles and spin fables around this cetakrompak “Allah” in their scam to confuse and deceive the Malays.

How extensive is this movement? How about huge, no make it humongous, perhaps even gargantuan. See a sampling here, here and here. See how the Malays of Malaysia (and Singapore, Patani and Indonesia) are identified and profiled, complete with geographic range and a summary of their culture, lifestyle and spiritual disposition? Wow, these people know more about the Malays than most Malays themselves! The Malays are now prepped and primed for a spiritual invasion of the zealotrous kind. And marvel at their colour-coordinated Global Religious Battlefield Map reminiscent of some Hollywood sci-fi flick?

Oh yes, these foreigners are zealots all right. I spent a considerable chunk of my life in the U.S. over the past two-plus decades and have witnessed first hand the excesses spawned by religious zealotry. Yup, the likes of Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts, Pat Robertson, and my favourites Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. These multi-millionaire swindlers live a lifestyle akin to Hollywood, pop and sports stars. Their slick fund-raising circus on TV would make the WWF look like child's play, what with instant miracle cures (one push on the forehead and you're cured, saved by the Tuhan) and toll-free numbers to send your life savings. Of course, many of these swindlers were later either discredited or jailed for their never ending scandals.

These intolerant zealots and TV (and now cyber) charlatans tag non-believers as the Unreached Peoples. In their gaudy tuxedos with eyes shut and teeth clenched and fist pumping, they claim direct unfettered access to God (Broadband-ready Tuhan ka?), and proclaim that this God wants them to reach out to the huge Unreached masses (meaning huge lucrative untapped markets) in Asia. Yes, these well-funded zealots will descend on us Unreached Peoples via their army of local collaborators in a multi-pronged assault of love and prayers and ......... if all else fail, legal action di Mahkamah Tinggi.

Get my point? Mau lagi? Cukup dah?

Many here surprised? Angry? Outraged? Sad?

For some, got this shifty feeling of being busted? Exposed? Motif sudah di telanjangkan?

Ok, now maybe we should ask "so what if these zealots want to Kristiankan the Melayus?"

Would the Malays buy it? They are that gullible? Nahh, not likely. Islam is self-evident, an all-encompassing way-of-life that makes more sense the more you unlock its beauty and simplicity.

But is that the point?

No.


The point is: why this need, this persistent tenacious need to use the word “Allah” to connotate this Biblical deity, as if the whole foundation of the Christian faith in Malaysia would collapse without it? How come the generic Malay "Tuhan" is not good enough, although "God" itself is the generic English word for supreme deity. What about other languages? Do they have a specific personal name for God or is it generic as well? Let's see. In German it is Gott; in French Dieu; in Croatian Bog; in Spanish Dios; in Swedish Gud; in Italian Dio; and in Russian Бог. Yup, all generic, a connotation, not a personal name, for a supreme being in their respective languages. So why must some Christian denomination in this country insist on using the Arabic word for The God to connotate the Christian supreme being in a Malay language Bible? Yeah, why use the Arab name in a Malay language scripture? Why not use the Spanish Dios? Or the French Dieu? Why this proclivity, this inherent desire, a burning need, to use the Arabic "Allah" in a Malay Bible although the Malay generic word for such deities would be the perfectly understandable and infinitely more accurate Tuhan?


All these sound fishy and ridiculous? I know. In fact, this is plain, unadulterated bullshit and hogwash of Biblical proportions, the biggest scam since antediluvian times.

My message to these zealots: Stop It! Leave the Malays alone. You go convert some other Unreached Peoples. In fact, there are enough pagans, atheists and sinners in the Western World itself to keep you people occupied till the end of time.

To the Malaysian collaborators, repent! Shame on you people! Enough of the lies and deceptions. No more putar belit of nomenclatures and connotations in your pathetic sandiwara of deceit and treachery. Stop lying through your crooked teeth about your sudden patriotic love for Bahasa Malaysia, of the sudden, inexplicable need to hear the Word of your deity uttered in a language that you had collectively abhorred and denigraded for the past half century.

For Tuhan's sake, enough!

Unknown said...

Pak Lah has to stay for sime 'unfinised' sleeping time...

Anonymous said...

Aiyah, let's dun meddle with allah affair but GO for the 2 coming BUY
BUY BUY-elections on the 7th of april
& 29thmarch for nominations, ok !?

btw, the defector in jelapng : " ..NO
lah, i dun GET 20juta so much lah ...
NOT so manyak lah...dun jealous me lah, ok, tq !!"

Anonymous said...

Hey KijangMas,
why talk so much crap?
Were you once a wannabe debator in school but your logic was so damn suck that you couldn't even represent your class?
Your long useless passage sums up one thing, you have no confidence in your god at all until you are so scared that the Melayu will convert, convert, convert. The Christian, the Buddhist, the Catholic never fear this. Go study your bible more so that you have more faith.

Anonymous said...

Caster's last stand. What a washout and a waste.

alibaba

zorro said...

Anon 8:57am

I think you got to get your thinking aligned. We never set out to destroy anybody! Where did you get that idea? Are we so good and powerful at what you said we are doing? Badawi was destroyed by the in-fighting in UMNO. You know that, for a fact. Now Najib too is being corrupted and will subsequently be destroyed by UMNO. Give my profile another read if you have not done that. Like you I too want a better place for my grandchildren. Yes we are all builders but some do scaffolding, some a bricklayers, some are tiling experts, some do concreting, some work only on foundation. We do what we are good at. I am not a political blogger as I told a gentleman at Kugans funeral. I blog about misbehavior. I hope I have cleared the air.

I get dissipated when I try to do too many things, like those you suggested. I'd like to leave it to the experts or to that individual if they want to improve themselves...but you can be sure their missteps will be my target of reproach.

By the way, Haris will not be pleased if you lump him with RPK and me as 55+.

Thanks for visiting...I know you mean well.

zorro said...

Wow! If you are the genuine KijangMas, to what do I deserve this visit to my small-time blog?

Three reasons why I will not respond to your comment:
1. it is not the topic of this post.
2. I am not an expert on religion and would do it more damage than good commenting about it. Only experts should dialogue on religion, the others just shut up....unless our experts sell us out.
3. Is this an attempt to promote your stuff in this comment box? The cluster map on my sidebar will tell you that I have a reasonable international readers.

zorro said...

One other thing DemiNegara. Back in 1966 I had a parish priest, a Malaysian, who began his ministry in the interiors of Sabah and Sarawak. There he had to pick up BM. By 1970 we had a lot of students from East Malaysia who were in the then Mara Institute of Technology. They requested for some sermons in Bahasa. My parish priest obliged but only one Sunday a month. Months later the special branch hung around outside. I contacted a good friend in the SB and he said: Dont worry lah, the buggers come back and their reports say that the Bahasa was too deep for them and thus could not give a summary report of their assignment. I told my friend (a Malay) that the word Allah was used. "It is the name of God, isn't it," was his reply.

Anonymous said...

(kancilmas): Hi, kijangmas, good piece, tq.
chaos , turmoil & disharmony are the work of the fallen one, #$%^&* ! let us ( at least kita ) NOT be trapped, ok ! cheers & GODBLESS !

PEACE & LOVE & HARMONY too be upon
ALL in the universe, amen !!