HERE'S WHY THIS COUNTRY IS IN DISTRESS.

HOW little minds work: When the chips are down go for the jugular of defenseless bloggers.

My buddy Sheih (Kickdefella) had on Aug 3 launched a campaign to fly the Jalur Gemilang upside down as a symbol of the people's frustrations and as a signal of a nation in distress. He alerted me that his post was up and I immediately, in solidarity, put up this posting here

Sheih wrote that "it is internationally accepted that raising the flag upside down is a mark of a state in distress. It is never a mark of disrespect."

Then the PM awoke to the fact that this was definitely evil and he wants the police to take action, knowing full well that the Royal Malaysian Police is being sued by Nurin's father and they are still looking for two missing kids. Who, especially the police wont be in distress?

We have all, again, been RELIABLY INFORMED that this country is topsy-turvy or upside down.

A Malaysian lady blogger CRANKSHAFT (resident in the country) in deep DISTRESS asked another Malaysian lady blogger RoX UNCUT (residing somewhere in Europe if she ain't jetting around) this DISTRESSING Question: WHO CAN LEAD THE COUNTRY.....(and bring it back to normalcy?)

HERE IS ROX'S NO HOLDS BARRED ANSWER TO CRANKSHAFT

I, PM

I think I'll make the perfect PM.

And I also have a fierce big God to ensure that I don't become despotic and think I'm him. I'll accept, err .. . if I'm allowed to keep my little place in the South of France ... well, just in case, as you know, in politics, anything can happen.

This is how my acceptance speech as PM will sound.

I, as your big-God-fearing leader, promise to:

1) Kick the ass of racists, religious fanatics and bigots, irrespective of colour, religion, gender and sexual orientation.

2) Put ALL dirty politicians (and their relatives and cronies who have benefited from their thievery and daylight robbery), regardless of colour, religion, gender and sexual orientation, and those guilty of treason, i.e., betraying us and shovelling the country into its present shitty state because of their greed, self-interest and thirst for power, to work cleaning pig farms.

3) Send Malaysians with bad habits (taking bribes, bullying, raping/sodomising?, etc) and negative attitudes (especially corrupt, insolent and inefficient civil servants who lack work ethics and discipline), and those (the worst!) who dare use the word "impossible" to Kamunting (which will be converted to boot camp under different severities of punishment categories) to rehabilitation.

As PM, I will abolish NEP and whatever that is making undeserving rich Malays so rich that they are developing so bad a taste in furnishing that it could even prompt big God to cry out in horror,

"Holy shit, I'll be damned!" when he saw those pictures over at Zorro's.

I'll make the poor Malays understand that being still dirt poor after 37 years since its implementation proves that NEP is a failure - and I'll show them the ultimate proof of its failure - photos of incredibly bad taste over at Zorro's.

The "affirmative action" programme is keeping them and their future generations in the dirt and poor in every way and will only lead them to extinction so why are they continuing to let themselves be fooled by rich Malays who have the audacity to flaunt their taste for bad furnishing in their face?

I will make them understand that my quest is to eradicate poverty so that ALL Malaysians will have a decent life with human dignity and no Malaysian will ever have to end up being humiliated living in abandoned toilets, and like this Malay woman living in a chicken coop.

As PM, I'll separate religion and state because as history tells us insanity is always the result of those two not being able control their lust in public. A result of it is as happening in Malaysia right now - where politicians are so absorbed in sodomising each other that they have completely forgotten that there is a country to run while the people, they are supposed to serve, are forced, in disbelief and disgust, to watch their shameful animal behaviour.

Islam will remain constitutionally the country's official religion as it is as wise a religion as any other religion when NOT literally interpreted by idiots still living in the Middle Ages. Dr Dzulkifli Ahmad of PAS Research Centre will head the programme to enlighten lost, misguided and ignorant souls who must all attend a compulsory course "Bringing Islam into the 21st Century , 101" before they are permitted to become Muslims again.

However, perverts - licensed to peep and carry out ridiculous intruding-into-people's-sex-life night raids - from the religious department will have to find themselves less gatal and k-poh jobs as the department will cease to exist - because once religion and state are separated, there will be no more sodomy, as well as other whatsoever.

As PM, I will send my leaders (ministers and administrators) to Germany in batches to learn how to run a country efficiently, to France to learn how to minimise social and economic disparities, to Scandinavia to learn how to improve transport system, infrastructures and the environment, and to the USA to learn how to make our diversity our strength and live as one great family - a Bangsa Malaysia - the world will marvel at.

And I will tolerate no frivolities from those hand-picked (for their ability to modify what they learn to suit the Malaysian context and not knowing the word "impossible") and sent there to pick brains.

There will be nil tolerance to frivolities like frequenting expensive restaurants and bars and fucking models/translators in first-class hotels at the rakyat's expense when they are overseas. As a social democratic and liberal leader, I will allow them to do all the above recreational activities in their own free time and at their own expense.

However, as I believe cultural and social activities will a whole person mould, they will be permitted to go to museums (to avoid mistakes other countries had made), visit ghettos (to avoid mistakes other countries are making) and hang around immigration departments (the only place where they may consort whores because some of them are probably Malaysians waiting to be deported and thereby will need some consolation) during working hours.

Upon their return, I expect nothing less than total commitment in introducing reforms and implementing modified projects (no drinking-coffee-all-day-long-spreading-rumours-chit-chat or who-piss-the-longest-highest-furthest meetings but serious WORK), and I will react swiftly if I read of complaints of "incompetence" in socio-political blogs (especially that of Rocky's, Aisehman's and KTemoc's).

If I hear, repeat, if I HEAR so much as a mutter from them, especially from Crankster, the administrator concerned will be suspended instantly and sent to boot camp (former Kamunting).

Note. As deterrent to corruption, it will be written into our constitution that all minister/administrator found guilty of making lucrative deals with foreign operatives at the expense of the rakyat, and civil servants of accepting bribes in any form or amount, will be tarred, feathered and hanged by their schwanz/kitzler to fry under the sun in front of Parliament from midday to sundown. All they own will then be confiscated and put back into the pockets of the people through grants.

Now, on to security, welfare, healthcare, the judiciary and education.

I'll clean up all the departments that have to do with our security - from army to police, all those who are responsible for protecting us from murderers, paedophiles and other criminals - of corruption and malaise and re-establish public confidence and trust in them.

Law-enforcers will be given better wages and working conditions. When they feel appreciated, they will have a sense of honour and pride in their work and thus, less likely to be tempted by pittance/duit kopi.

They will all go through a public service course (compulsory for all civil servants) to treat their employers (the rakyat) with patience, courteousness and respect. Those still carrying an air of arrogance and have an unconcerned (tidak apa) attitude after three warnings, and those found guilty of being careless, rude and nasty, will be fired.

Our welfare system and healthcare - with modification, of course - will be modelled as closely as possible after those of Scandinavia.

The independence of the judiciary will be restored at once.

Education will be completely free for citizens with no hidden fees. And an over-ridding problem of our higher education institutions - as have been worrying some smart bloggers - will be attended to immediately. This is an important issue, so I'll elaborate.

One of the special rights of Malay supremacy (Ketuanan Melayu) - the agenda that is supposed to reinforce into non-Malays that they shouldn't meddle with the low self-esteem of Malays or they would go amok - is to lower educational standards so that Malays can fill up the huge quota allocated to them and graduate with titles far above their capabilities.

The need to accommodate the Malays has created hyper-inflated grades with many students making a sport out of achieving 20 to 30 As in their exams. This results in most of our so-called high-achievers believing they are the crème de la crème until they went abroad on government scholarships and found that by international standard they are only mediocre students.

This is harming our country's image as we can't compete in the globalised market of the future without a credible education system that can produce tomorrow's quality workforce.

Malays are not stupider than other races but we must be realistic and face the fact that most, like in all other races, are just mediocre. Ketuanan can't upgrade them to be above others through what they are not. Just as not all Chinese can become CEOs, not all Indians, bollywood actors, not all Malays can become engineers.

We have many mediocre non-Malays who have not gone to institutes of higher learning and are doing very well. They are earning a good living, supporting their families and doing what they do best, so why must all Malays be pushed by the quota system to aim for more than they can chew academically?

Because practically anybody in the street can get a degree these days (the quickest is to buy it from the internet, as some politicians will tell you), it's no longer prestigious to hold a degree as employers have found out that a degree seldom corresponds performance.

So having saying that paper chase is a thing of the past, I think we have to think smart and rethink education and raise its standard to a level that will produce confident and skilled Malay mechanics instead of insecure and incompetent Malay engineers.

As for creativity (a rare quality much sought after in the West), we have that in abundance here and I'll encourage and nurture this precious human resource by building a creative centre in every major city - a centre with a main university (for research) and technical/trade schools (for development) associated with it.

These schools (with retraining and upgrading courses) will hold facilities for dreamers/entrepreneurs on grants (made possible from the seized wealth of the corrupt) to try out new ideas or acquired skills as if in the real world under the expert guidance of successful roll models who will volunteer, as good Malaysians, their time as mentors.

I'll put Jean Lave and Etienne Wenge's theory of apprenticeship (situated learning) into practice.

These nerve centres will be feeders to all industries in the country - supplying them with the best of our creative brains and skilful workers.

Malaysia would become so attractive that all former Malaysians from far corners of the earth will reapply (and will be allowed) to be citizens again, and even Steve Jobs will beg to launch his products here.

After much calculation, I think all that can be achieved for the price of the past 20 years of hubris and waste. If the hubs don't draw investments into the country, create jobs and hone the skills of Malaysians, I'll go into self-exile and spend the rest of my life in my humble abode in France and take Voltaire's advice - grow organic vegetables.

BUT

the truth is I don't have a chance - not now nor the next 30 to 50 years, and I'll be too old, or very dead, by the time Malaysians will accept a female, non-Malay, non-Muslim and cussing PM who will strike fear in the hearts of erring and stupid politicians.

Malaysia is fucked because I'll never be PM.

I'll never be able to use this four-word motto,
YOUR DREAM, MY LEGACY, on my gravestone.

I'm so sorry for you Malaysians, so, so sorry.

I should be born 10 years ago.

+++++

NOT TO WORRY RoX, I WILL SEND THIS TO DIN MERICAN FOR HIM TO CASCADE IT DOWN TO THE PAKATAN RAKYAT WHO WILL FORM OUR NEW GOVERNMENT.

Dang, I am distressed such that instead of thinking vertically I have gone into horizontal mode. I know that Edward de Bono will be distressed at my transgression. Will some I T -savy guy out there do something before somebody says I am evil and send his mata-mata after me.
Sheesssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh time to go fishing at the Wharf.

DISCLAIMER: pics did not feature in RoX post.