Thursday, March 1, 2007

GOOFER OF THE WEEK AWARD


This week's award was won hands-down by ABU HASSAN DIN AL-HAFIZ, whom the NST chose to give so much coverage to. This is the guy who wants our women to wear chastity belts to prevent unchaste assaults. He goofed because he did not do enough research before he made this proclamation. He goofed again when chastised, he said that he was joking. As this week's winner I award him this prize. It is called the Kali's Teeth Bracelet (v.wikipedia). Named after a hindu goddess, the Kali's Teeth Bracelet is often used as a form of chastity device for MEN. Consisting of a metal ring with blunt spikes on its inside surface, it is locked around the shaft of the flacid penis. Made in size so that it is unable to come off when a man is not not aroused. Should be become partially erect, the spikes will press into the soft tissue, thus causing pain without damage and prevent the man from becoming fully aroused. Top right is picture of the modern Kalimulah...oops Kali's Teeth Bracelet. It is currently retailing at USD350. Expensive, but I keep my word.En.Abu Hassan's prize will be air-lifted by UPS.

Zorro's research centre is working on a device for women, but equipped with a sensor and a guillotine. The sensor reads and allow only familiar visitor. When the reader senses an unfamiliar visitor, it allows entry but the guillotine is triggered thus castrating the visitor. Should the visitor continue to be enterprising he might end up dumb. Abu Hassan, write to me if you are capable!

11 comments:

zorro said...

Correction: Should he become partially erect.....

zewt said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... you da man ... you da zorro!

monsterball said...

Zorro..I am still waiting your greenlight to comment as I feel. Since we are buddies to Sheih and have somewhat same taste of humour.....all hell will go loose if I speak my mind out like I do in kickdefella site.
Thanks your very fine perfect English ..complimenting on my message in Sheih's recent poster.
Do your wife drink beer like you mixed with camphor balls? Take care my friend.

Kata Tak Nak said...

To me this is a case of talking without thinking, that's all, plain and simple. Talk is cheap they say but stupid talk can be very expensive.

Sorry if I sound like I am trying to be clever but I always believe that if you have nothing to say than don't say anything; if you are not sure, say you are not sure; and if you don't know just say out that you don't know, it beats saying the wrong thing.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Oh I forgot, will you be watching this saturday night's game? As if I have to ask. Classic case of talking without thinking?

So what's the odds like?

June said...

*cringe*

Both sounds really painful (though funny in a morbid way). And it being called the "Kali teeth bracelet!" The brain immediately associates it with someone, haha...

Landed_Angel said...

Zorro.. that's a good one. I am with you.. hahahaha

zorro said...

Monty: go ahead, all yours.
KTN: Sometimes admission of ignorance saves a lot of blushes.
June: touche...spot on.
Angel: which one is a good one....or both.

jasgill said...

Sir, or should I call you boss...
quote:
it allows entry but the guillotine is triggered thus castrating the visitor. Should the visitor continue to be enterprising he might end up dumb.

You are certainly innovative. However your device seems more like an amputation device rather than a device that can castrate as per you description. But if it really works as suggested by you, you could patent it as a DIY medical device for tonsillectomy!!!

Castration (also referred as: gelding, neutering, orchiectomy, orchidectomy, and oophorectomy) is any action, surgical, chemical, or otherwise, by which a male loses the functions of the testes or a female loses the functions of the ovaries.

Cheers.

zorro said...

Jas,proud that I taught you, did I? Castration here refers male. By the way, are you a medicine man, as in doctoring...patients, not court documents.

Anonymous said...

Zorro, sometimes when people speak too much, they show their stupidity, no difference between u and him.