Sunday, December 2, 2012

OUR ANNUAL BOOSTER SHOT – UMNO GENERAL ASSEMBLY


ANIL NETTO message this afternoon read: Hi Bernard, hope your health is holding up. Everything OK? I replied: Have been laughing myself into wellness since the UMNO GA. He replied back: They are so desperate and panicking.


On Friday the three doctors that took care of me when hospitalized,  remarked that I look so much better although no medicine was prescribed when discharged. I told them that I have been entertained into paroxysms of laughter provided by UMNO assembly. Dr K bin Kalid (evidently a Pakatan supporter) gave me a high-five. Dr T asked what then when the Assembly is over? I said I will venture online and read JOCELINE TAN. Laughter, of course, is alien to this UMNO Spin Mistress, as we have often heard that laughter is the best medicine except for treating verbal diarrhea. Nah, she still hasn’t got it despite many volleys fired at her. Haven’t we been entertained by her political humor that has gone beyond chortling at stupidity? She still has not realized that an UMNO friend in need is normally a pest! Can I suggest this new code of conduct for journalist like her, like a law that requires types like her be hooked up to lie detectors! On reflection  wouldn't truth detectors be more economical? Humor was in the air as Khairi, Adnan Yakob and Reezal Merican etc shared with the UMNO delegates. But all that escaped our Matahari Tan. Which reminds me of what Mohandas Gandhi cautioned, “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.” As an English teacher let me remind Adnan that cutting off an ear and jumping into the river are not figurative per se. Cutting off the nose  to spite the face and go jump into the lake ARE. Ear, river? You would have got a clip behind the ears if you were in my English class. Go ask Terence Netto!
Have you found yourself in a fit of giggles just watching another person laugh non-stop? Why do we find other people's laughter so funny? I guess that's why they say laughter is infectious. But this kind of infection is a health benefit. So go on and spread the virus. And if you need help to get into a non-stop laugh riot, read these KEE THUAN CHYE’S offerings HERE. Soon you will have curious UMNO cybertroopers laughing with you!

I did and forgot to blog yesterday!


26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Zorro,

Be fair to Joceline 'HIDUP NAJIB' Tan pleazee. She is CARI MAKAN herself!

I still remembers she writes good news about Paklah and Dr M!

zorro said...

During the Hulu Selangor, at a ceremah she introduced herself to me and I did tell her that I am not a fan. She replied that it was expected an that it came with the job. At least she was professional about it and I shook her hand.

She wrote good news about Mahathir and Pak Lah? What's so good about these two?

PR supporter for change said...

Bernard, I was polling agent and counting agent for Hulu Selangor. From your experience there, would you say that Zaid was somehow sabotaged?

I was informed of change of polling centre on the night before the by election and then twice on the day itself. The first time when I joined the carpool on the way there and the second time on reaching the DAP branch office. Makes me wonder if it was sabotage meant to confuse us and maybe end up with no agents at the polling centre.

Jeyan said...

People always say they are just 'cari makan' and get away writing lies and spin and pass that of as journalism. Robbers and gangsters who rob will also say they are just cari makan as well. So do hired guns who assassinate people and mercenaries offering their services to bring down govts. However when your cari makan involves promoting robbers and corrupt individuals to continue plundering this country , for me these people become equally as guilty of the plunder as the plunderer plundering the country . True journalist try to expose truth not disguise lies as truths . I think it is a disgrace to the profession for these people to masquerade as journalist .i think it is better to beg than to cari makan this way.

zorro said...

PR Supporter for Change. Of course he was sabotaged. In his first assignment he was given the wrong time. Immediately after that he was to follow a DAP convoy to the new villages. This information was not relayed to him. I spoke to him immediately to him and even told his advisors about the fiasco.

zorro said...

Jeyan....spot on.

wandererAUS said...

UMNO has become the House of comedians, who regularly, supply us with funny stories...like claiming to be God's "chosen people"...pig arses have that privilege?...even my jingle bells felt tickled and I am horribly amused!
As for the funny woman JOCELINE TAN,
she works extremely well, when she follows the aroma coming comimg out from the blowholes of UMNO dickheads!

Anonymous said...

NEVER heard of 'ear-cutting & river-jumping' proverb (NOT even in Chinese culture) !!!!

BUT have read about a COCK laughing at a wet-cat (pussy) dat fell into a river somewhere in Pahang !!!

Anonymous said...

I am a big fan of sistah Joceline. She writes so much better than the Netto fella who really nettled me with his verbosity.
Just words and words and no point like Joceline who knows her stuff.
Goodlah Uncle to laugh now. Next year you, Kee Tuan Chye, Netto, Din Merican will all be crying for Pakatan's loss.
Maybe hospitalized again.
You are aping old coot Din who keeps on putting Netto's garbage on his blog.
After first sentence, you dont know what the fella write. Yeah man, writing on air unlike Josie who knows Najib and Rosmah very well.
When you want to know the truth read Joceline. Can or not? Dont be fooled by Netto.

Mrs Poofark

Jong said...

Oh, you forgot another ass-kissing joker trying to find some cheapo publicity over the busy weekend:

Samy Vellu asked Pakatan: "What have you done?" - We kicked you out of Sungei Siput and ended your political career remember? Hahaha!!



Benhur said...

Hello Zorro.
Have you gone coo-coo?
It's an insult to the profession to include
her as a journalist !!!

zorro said...

BenHur, sorry! Been laughing too much and typed journalist instead of reporter. Forgive yah?

JasOne said...

When Umno plea to God failed, they now revert back to Mahathir. Don’t they know the old fart, the father of corruption, is hated by most Malaysians. Najib is indeed desperate!! ha ha!

Ray said...

If you are a Malaysian, PLEASE watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1wnhSH7gEI

Anonymous said...

莱纳斯和关丹独中事件将连累到马华和国阵来届大选的成绩!国阵失去文冬国席不出奇!

Tiger said...

So easy to see when people are desperate.
Grasping at straws.
Afraid of shadows.
Hey, anyone ever did the math?
There are 2000+ reps at the General Assembly, all claiming to work for UMNO.
They're paid RM5k (according to sources) a month to do their "duties".
What's 2000 pax X RM 5000 X 12 months?
That's RM120 million of OUR MONEY paid to these clowns!

Anonymous said...

Hi uncle zorro,

glad to hear that you are getting better. :) and dont forget to laugh today.

Anonymous said...

Joceline seems to be of the opinion that Anwar is of no match against the so-called 'Najib factor'. Why don't she just suggest a debate between the two to prove her point? This at the very least will be more informative to the voters than all the shallow and hollow speeches/war-cries/press- conferences made during the whole of UMNO GA.

Anonymous said...

There is an increasing trend that many lesser UMNO pawns, like Musa the ex-IGP and Deepak the Carpetman, are getting panicked by the rapidly deteriorating support for UMNO. They realise that a change in government is now a very realistic prospect.

This is the reason they are launching last minute survival strategies to somehow get protection from the PR parties, by revealing additional dirt, even if it profoundly involves their own criminal deeds.

It's important for PR to not fall for these first rats jumping off the sinking ship, but keep their focus on reinstating a functional and independent justice system, free media, protection of whistle-blowers and Freedom of Information act. Then let justice has its course without political manipulations a la UMNO.

Tukang Besi said...

For the untrained and unfamiliar eyes and ears, the recent Umno General assembly may come across as a run-of-the-mill Islamic party convention.

We have Muhyiddin Yaasin reciting more than one verse from the Quran, claiming that Umno is the true vanguard of Islam in Malaysia, slamming PAS for not holding true to their Islamic principle and many more.

We also have Najib Tun Razak saying that “Malaysia is an Islamic country with a vibrant Islamic finance, enshrined syariah law and an Islamic economy”.

In fact another low level Umno Penang rep by the name of Reezal Neena Merican claims Umno to be a party chosen by God to fight for Islam. In addition, the Penang rep accuses the MB of Kelantan being an apostate (kafir).

It’s all pretty amazing to me. The rhetorics that once use to be PAS’s domain has been hijacked by Umno. That begs the question why?

Rhetorics on Islam is usually an instrument to attact Muslims into voting for PAS. Umno on the other hand has been boasting record levels of Malay support since 2008.

Some Umno sources claim that the Malay support for Umno is at 75%. In layman terms, for every 100 Malay voters, 75 of them will vote for Barisan Nasional.

If this is so, why then resort to Islamic rhetorics? Why need to appeal to the base that Umno has already commanded?

I believe that Umno is noticing a recent surge of PAS everywhere in Malaysia especially among Malay voters.

Umno is detecting that more and more Malays have decided to back PAS and are convinced that Umno is heading to the exit. As a result, more and more Malays are deciding to back PAS due to the impending Umno downfall from the seat of power.

Since PAS has Islamic credentials, more and more Malays are moving away from Umno towards PAS because of PAS’ committment to Islam.

I believe the out-Islamising strategy adopted by Umno is to stem this tide. They need to get the Malays to come back to them and not be convinced that PAS is the solution.

They need the Malays to think that the real representative of Islam is Umno. Otherwise, their doom is inevitable. That’s why they need to sound like PAS.

Anonymous said...

涉幽会而被定罪的卫生总监哈山阿都拉曼遭公共服务委员会降一等级,而跟他幽会的女伴则降3级薪水,为期一年。朋友,和蒙古女郞上床又该当何罪?

Mr Bojangles said...

Maybe Adnan fancies himself a Vincent van Gogh.

That man apparently slashed his own ear with a razor in a fit of lunacy, wrapped it in cloth and handed it to a prostitute in a nearby brothel.

At least Adnan will drop his ears in the river for the fish to feed on since visiting prostitutes is a big no-no to these sanctimonious pirates.

Jong said...

Nobody bothers even if Adnan Yaakob cuts off his kukubird and throw it to the fishes!

Just STOP LYNAS, unless he needs more proof - wait till his grandchild born without a butt!

Anonymous said...

Adnan : " IF LTLie lost in the GE13, i cut my ear & jump into the river !!"

NOW, LTLie is manyak worry bcos we ALL like to see a xxx MB keeping his wow/curse !!

Anonymous said...

安南狂言割耳朵
睡醒變縮頭烏龜

安南別把蛋蛋縮起來
君子一言既出馬難追
文冬可是國陣堡壘區
你又為何怕得把頭縮

wongty robert said...

Put it this way, Anwar is a better evil than the devil we know and that is acceptable. But this evil will be keenly "jaga" by PAS, DAP, PKR and of course, all the lucky re-elected experts in theft, robbery, racketeering from UMNO/BN. So, looking at the big picture, there is still hope!