Sunday, February 11, 2007

Of Ang-pows,Toilet Technology, Band of Bloggers and the Next Superpower - Public Opinion.

I was on my way to deliver an ang-pow to Datuk Seri OKT (not Or-Kwee-Tau. I leave it to Buaya 69 to do the necessary definition of this Hokkien term.) My friends have labeled me "OCBC" as in Orang Cina Bukan Cina, and the little Hokkien and Cantonese I picked up in massage parlours, knock-shops, girlie-bars and Eastern Caberet is just sufficient for me to get by in crisis situations. Back to the ang-pows then.....

I saw Bob(bit) Lau's car in the driveway. Robert Lau of course is the deputy minister, Housing and Local Government, who made no secret about the ministry's intention to have colleges run courses on toilet technology. Such frivolities in such troubled times. Fellow Malaysians, the next time you go to our public toilet, the toilet bowl will analyse your urine or you load and send the result print-out to both Minister and Deputy Minister for appropriate action. Such 'low-down' progress. Malaysia Boleh. Back to the ang-pows again.....

I decided that the Minister and Bobby Lau must be in deep discussion about shit, considering that the state of our public toilets are in deep shit and I decided to spend the ang-pow at the National Press Club, on blogger friends.

Nurainah Samad of 3540 Jalan Sudin was cajoling first-time visitor Shar101 to turn from poster-boy to blogging officially. SKThew of MageP Lab was engaging Amir, the Malay Male in the esoteric applications of wu-shu at fore-play. This was not in my league and I moved off to join Stephen of Shanghai Fish and Rocky of Rocky's Bru. The Rock was in deep brewing posture and Shanghai was doing what he does best, making the ladies feel at home. When I saw the Malay Male alone I arm-twisted him to upgrade my blog with site-meter and the Bloggers United logo.

Sheih of kickdefella was conspicuously absent but I learnt that some sicko gutter rat warned him to check his water-tank. A police report is the right thing to do comrade. (Coming soon, a posting on how to lure these mangy rodents out of their putrid abode for scientific research, like transplanting hind legs to the front and vice-versa. This way they invariably cannot come out of their hideout to spread their filth. Hitler would have been proud of me, no?)

The stand-up-philosopher, Tony G, stood me up. Tony, I will not accept your usual "big storm" excuse this time.

I was unable to attend Tun's Criminalise War forum but gathered enough from the Band of Bloggers. To me, something impactful came out of this forum. The Next Superpower - Public Opinion. I quote my first posting verbatim: "This maiden posting ask these questions: Where is the power to think for oneself? Where is the forum for diverse ideas? What happened to the court of public opinion?" The NST, government-owned, has abdicated this responsibility and are thus impotent, blind, dumb. Allow me this analogy: If you have your face up your ass, four of your five senses won't work.

So who better than bloggers can take on this responsibility to responsibly nurture and shape public opinion for the betterment of this beautiful country. We have to make conscious effort to stop the country's slide into mediocrity. Without fear or favour, you Band of Bloggers must take up this mantle. This country needs more than an oil-change, realignment, balancing and tune-up, short of an overhaul, to set things right. Not you can, but you MUST take on this task. Bloggers from all Malaysian States, no half-measures, no ' what if?', JUST DO IT.


stand-up philosopher said...

Hai yah Zorro,
What to do. Thats what their school taught them.... everything from A to B.
And sorry 'bout that nite. I fell asleep...early . Unusual I know.

lubok melayu said...

Amen, bro Bernard.
Band of Bloggers will press ahead, no matter what. With you in our ranks and the likes of Shar101 joining us, we shall prevail!
As for the water tank, brother Sheih need not worry. Those rats are cowards.

Buaya69 said...

Time to impart my Hokkien lexicon of bad ass words, hehehe.

Or-kwee-tau = that other male head, muahahahar!

man, i have not heard that word since my school gang-fight days :P

SK said...

I want to run toilet management courses eh, got lobang or not?

Teach them how to stand/sit when you piss, teach you how to wash your hand, teach you how to flush your shit and etc.

tunku said...

we as the bloggers now have to be the superpower, we shall unite in the name of justice and our country dignity and progress.
i'm a new blogger and still learning,hehehe.
sorry about yr MIL bro bernard.

zorro said...

Tony, you are forgiven. Sleep must never be disturbed...thats when you do not disturb anyone.

lubok melayu, onwards then brother Band of Bloggers. Thanks for the reassurance that Sheigh need not worry. I was. anint hokkien? I found out that oh-kew-tau is the term referred to pimps.

sk, can help first module should be on peeing: (for males) when the pressure decreases, lean forward. Read this in Sun Tzu, art of war. Nothing for females becauses they did not have Mui Lan those days.

zorro said...

tunku, thanks for visiting....welcom to webtown (as Sheih says it)....we all continue to learn and it is this experience that enriches and add credibility and authenticity to what we do. Cheers brother.

Daily Nibbler said...

It is sad that Malaysians must be taught how to use or even worse, to manage toilets.

Can you imagine the curriculum may include, among others, teaching them how to shit and pee, male or female? Next of course, is how to keep them clean and operational at a profit, and for those who treat them as cost centers, at the lowest cost possible. It beats me why do we have to come to this. Have we Malaysians degraded? Looks like it.

zewt said...

Made 'starting a blog' my new year resolution this year. Managed to keep it going for more than a month now....

Not sure if I am considered part of this elite band of bloggers cos most of my stuff are non-political connected.

mon said...

Hi zorro,

Keep it up.


zorro said...

Thanks Mon for the encouragement. belong to the Band of Bloggers, as long as you use your blog to promote unity, solidarity, and fairness amongst Malaysians. Hammering at politicians dont make us political writers. We are happy just blogging from the I always tell management people, "if you want to speak to the heart you got to speak from the heart"...similarly in blog posting. Zewt, as long as your posting touches somebody's life, you belong to this Band of Bloggers.I am going into your blog after this. Cheers.

shar101 said...

Harro Zorro,

Aiyah! Why mention my name.
Quietly, quietly, we drink lah.
All the guyz come over, then not enough ladies for us mah. Fri? Maybe?

ME136 said...

I dunno, Zorro, can public opinion be strong enough to fight the giants of the world -eg: MNCs, TNCs, Superpowers, etc. Is the old adage "strength is in numbers" still relevant here?
For example, how can we, the masses, undo the mechanism that guarantees a win for Barisan Nasional in general election? It appears to be cast in iron.
How much can a person/ blogger / activist who is an opinion leader (an ordinary member in society who can steer the public towards a certain direction) initiate change? I know I sound pessimistic but these are the issues, as I see it.
If the majority of us in society want a change in government, do we really have the power to do so -- or does the power actually lie in the hands of the 100 or so delegates who attend the Umno general assembly?

sorry, lots of questions but no answers.

zorro said...

Come on you Band of Bloggers, Me136 has pounded me with some serious questions.....please volunteer answers before I give my 2 sens worth. Just a thought Vanitha, wasnt Enron brought down by two ladies? I have faith as long as we stay the course. Chipping away slowly, imperceptibly maybe, but nevertheless doggedly chipping away. Winds can change the shape of mountains.Similarly, the winds of change can do likewise. Ok guys and girls...Me136 too.

mon said...

Bro zorro,

Out of topic here. Notice tat the time stamp is out of our M'sian Time. Is it done on purpose


p/s mon a.k.a Anon. Fm Miri

Lame Basket said...

Public opinion is strong enough to fight the giants. But, do anticipate an uphill battle, and the effects usualy do not show overnight. Nevertheles, it is a battle worth fighting.

There is no absolute guarantee or whatsoever, whether or not geneal elections victory on BN's hands or what not, but there is a guarantee that those that make sense and are couragous enough will not take shit lying down.

I,for one, will definitely put up a fight, which very possibly would cost me dearly, But my conscience is clear and I can proudly answer to my future generations that I did what I see fit , to my best ability, to make a change.

zorro said...

Lame Basket. Thanks. Vanita still not satisfied.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Hey you guys, you better take this academic study in toilet management thing seriously. Warning to all Malaysians, their next course of action would be to build luxurious public toilets and charge a toll. Rates would be by the seconds and of course some well connected people would be given a 50 or 60 year concession to collect the toll. Of course the rates would be revised upwards every 1 or 2 years. Everything, as is a common thing in Malaysia, would be classified under the OSA so don't ask for details.
Yes you could use your touch n go card and be given a 5 second discount.
Oh yes, those with degrees in Toilet management would be given a further 5 seconds discount.

p.s. you cannot bring in your own toilet paper, a toilet paper dispensing machine which accepts only 5 ringgit notes ( no change provided) would be conveniently placed at the entrance.

zorro said...

Kata tak nak.....excellent module for first semester course. I really like the 5 ringgit bum-paper dispenser.Will the dispenser be under another lease or everything kow-tim by one crony. God, touch and go are brilliant.
Guess this franchise will be shared between UMNO and MCA. Cant have Samy involved...cant have him throwing bowls around.

Kata Tak Nak said...

My inside source said that United Toilet Builder is gonna get the job. They will of course baba it. I heard samy fought hard for the dispensing machine. It seems he is willing to install one with a screen. Guess what show he will screen. They say the actress is a certain shy la.

zorro said...

My dear KTK, I suggest you better patent all those innovative ideas of yours before that Mat Rempit-loving bozo do some arm twisting of UMNO Youth to get this down-loading enterprise. I heard he has conned some youths to jump onto the North Pole. Did I hear right that this is Visit Malaysia Year and our youths are being dropped onto the North Pole. Mat Rempits are piming off their pillion riders....could it be Putera is subtly moving into the flesh trade. Truly Malaysian.

zorro said...

Oops, sorry KTN instead of KTK.

Kata Tak Nak said...

KTN or KTK doesn't matter. What matters is the struggle. I'm 51, I know you're older. I am a teacher and you were at one time one so there are similarities but the one that is the most important to me is the struggle. I call it one coz it aint gonna be easy but that doesn't mean it should be abandoned. My struggle is simple and clear, a just society. I can't say a society with no colour, race and religion coz I would be a liar but I am very-very sure whatever colour one's skin is, whatever race one is born and whatever god one prays to, he is a human being and must be treated as one. To me there is only 1 rule and that is justice. I hope our struggle is the same or almost the same so that together we will line up the drains beside the 5 star public toilets manned by toilet management degree holders with our dicks in our hands and spray the town wet.