Thursday, February 8, 2007

CRIMINALISE the OSA


There is a chain-letter I received originating from Sungei Siput, Perak. Fearing the worst that can be inflicted on me should I break the chain I decided to continue this chain through cyberspace.

The letter revealed that a senior minister is suffering from a hair-pulling disorder called TRICHNOTILLOMANIA, the last two syllable of which is telling. There, seemingly, is no known cure for this unnatural hair-loss phenomenon. People susceptible to this malady usually have to make critical, national-security decisions like cosmetic patch-up or prop-up of cracked pillars and the intricate dynamics of sink-holes and rock/landslides. The patient, inflicted, sublimate these conflicts by pulling out chunks of their hair. thus the visible hair-loss. It is believed that the said minister bogged down by such national-security cover-up shinanigans forgot to classify his doctor's prognosis under the Official Secrets Act.

I jack-knifed into the Net and a disturbing wealth of information surfaced. I volunteer the not-so- life-threatening symptoms and effects of this condition.

1. Monomaniacal rantings: starts mildly with the sporadic throwing of furniture at public discourses when aggravated and crescendo-ing into uncontrolled fits of hair-plucking/dislodging of orgasmic proportions. One other side effect are puerile gibberish declarations like, "The Cabinet cannot reveal the agreements......it (OSA) was done in line with the requirements of the law (whose laws?).

2.
Vertiginous Numerectisone: A vertigo-related symptom with spinning,dizzying effect, akin to ribald delusions, free-falling into a false belief that a sum of RM30million job, diligently engineered can result in a whooping RM70million. Piece of cake....delusion? but who cares. The cake, the cake like the plane, the plane of fantasy island. Sheesh.

3. Ventriloquism Vituperatamide: vituperative mumblings; the art of producing abuse in voice-sounds so that they seem to come from a person (usually Opposition), place (sensitive press-conferences) or thing (OSA). This skill takes the cake and no sharing, the normal norm.

So you pirates and buccaneers in the closet-cabinet. Criminalise the OSA in particular and the other assinine pronouncements, or I will invoke the potent Arab curse: May 70 million fire-ant make nest in your arm-pits and your windward passages.

Zorro rests until after his visit to the Chinaman.


7 comments:

Daily Nibbler said...

And may you know that public is sick of seeing the same old faces ranting and squibbing over opaque-like policies. A breadth of fresh air would be nice, not old farts.

Sheih said...

My brother Zorro,

As I promise you, you deserved a poster. I have unveil the poster. I try to email you but realised I do not have you email. So please save it from my side.

zorro said...

Thanks commander. My email:ktswee@hotmail.com

I'll take a peek.

Allied said...

You may have forgotten another symptom

Numericus Forgetettus
Extremely short memory for figure...30m-40m, ending up with 70m!

Oh....have you heard of HOT MEDIA?
http://www.myhotmedia.com/

and this may just be the case of
myhandisinthispockettoo

NURAINA A SAMAD said...

zorro,

i am learning about strange diseases..

monsterball said...

New inventions to curp diseases will be concocted by my friend Zorro...camphor balls campur beer
Result: a monsterball..hahahahaha

yok hoong said...

dear zorro

our dear samy said he will provide answers. just ask. can you pose some great questions to him. its like giving him a rope to hang himself!

btw, our dear samy cant pin the fault on the actual parties responsible for the MRR2 fiasco. so, the government paid for the repairs. what a great answer! think he better osa this case too; otherwise more skeletons will drop out from the cupboard.