PAKATAN RAKYAT CAN SWING IT BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PKR, FOR NOW!

YES, THEY "POPPED" THE CHERRY INSTEAD.

HANTU 2 sent me this with a note: "Fret not.....at least we know who are weak." His PS read: A reading done by my friend vonCube a few nights ago.

Weak Emperors: A Study in Mediocrity

Genghis Khan, Catherine the Great, Basil Bulgaroctonus, the Kangsi Emperor These are just a few of the illustrious names which bored history students are forced to memorize and regurgitate in exams. Great kings and emperors, and their victories, great public works, and state reorganizations, come down to us through history, and provide vivid examples of achievement and skill from any era, any culture, and occasionally serve as inspiration for young ne'er do-wells in today's world. Their deeds have been immortalized in words, art, and film, and with each utterance of their exalted name they achieve a small measure more of immortality.

But for every Great Emperor, the scrap heap of history is positively filled with mediocrities, failures, and sometimes evil leaders, who for one reason or another are relegated, at best, to mere footnotes in the great histories, and at worst are doomed to almost total obscurity. They, too, donned the Imperial insignia, royal seal, and sacred jewels of their more famous counterparts; yet for one reason or another, they have been shrouded by the mists of time, and quickly forgotten about. I've always found myself drawn more to these obscure characters, for whatever reason; maybe I can draw more parallels to my own life with their struggles, failures and misdeeds, than I can to some snotty overachiever like Frederick the Great.

Keep in mind that this is not necessarily limited to successful leaders. Catastrophically bad ones, like Commodus and Nicholas II, earn their own little slice of history by virtue of their incompetence. No, I'm talking about those who tried, maybe not as hard as they could have, and achieved little, if anything.

But what makes a mediocre Emperor such? Is is personal failings? Born into the wrong circumstances? One or two really bad decisions? 


Over history, there seems to be five distinct factors which make up a failed leadership, all of which were touched on by the leaders I've chosen. They are, in no particular order:

• Internecine Strife: Fighting amongst one's own family for control at the expense of one's own nation almost invariably leads to ignominy and failure. Unless, of course, you're not a failure.
• Tactical vs. Strategic thinking: Trying to figure out what will keep you in power next year, as opposed to what will keep your nation prominent in the next century, is a recipe for disaster. Just ask Sten Sture.
• Short Reigns Sometimes, a leader with so much promise shuffles off this mortal coil just a little too soon before they can effect real change. John Thompson and Murad IV of the Ottomans would fall under this category; a case could also be made for Joseph II of Austria. In other news, I believe this is the first time in human history all three of those names have been uttered in the same sentence. Anyways,
• Personal Defects: What a massive, widely ranged category this is. Sometimes, personal defects can lead a leader to glory, such as the blood lust of Ivan the Terrible and Mao Zedong. More often though, the reverse is true, whether it's Ibrahim I's obsession with finding, and bedding, the fattest woman in his empire; or Maximilian I's belief that the people of Mexico would truly come to love, and accept him. Sorry, Max. 
• Wrong choices, are bound for greatness; for the vast remainder, there is only ignominy, obscurity, and if they're lucky, a relatively complete Wikipedia entry.

another MOB1900 creation

Wrong place, wrong time: Sometimes, you're just a day late and a dollar short; that's not your fault, really. Fuckin' way she goes, as they say in these parts. Unfortunately, luck of the draw does seem to be a major determining factor in greatness; Abraham Lincoln, born fifteen years later, might have been a Tammany Hall hack, and if the Hongwu emperor decides not to join a Buddhist monastery, he never would have found the Ming Dynasty.  


In any case, I hope you found this writeup informative, and if not that, then mildly entertaining. I might add another emperor or two as time passes, but for the time being, I'm satisfied. But just remember: should you find yourself in a leadership position over a small-medium-large-sized empire, learn to read, kick some strategic ass, and be born +/- 50 years, as needed. I will node you then.


Me, I am off to join Queenie and the mob for some Hong Kong  lethrinus haematopterus (Emperor Fish) at Jl Robson.

Something HERE