I AM VERY SAD AND INCREASINGLY DISILLUSIONED.

(Picture taken on Tuesday Night at Dataran Merdeka during the Candlelight Vigil)

On Tuesday 19June morning, Nurainah Samad, Rocky, Stephen and I was at the Jalan Duta Court Complex to lend support to Jeff Ooi in his ensuing tug-o-war with NST. At 10.45am we crossed Jalan Duta and had a cuppa at Tony G's cafe. By 12.15pm we were at Ruslani and Maria's for mee rebus. I always looked forward to Tuesday; besides meeting blogger-buddies I always enjoyed the company of the effervescent Ruslani. If you enjoy literary discourse and repartee, you have found a soul-mate in Ruslani. I did. Of course I enjoy Maria's mee rebus, but I love her more for what she is, the still attractive, (physically and mentally) grandma who opens her house to ravenous bloggers hungry for her mee rebus and weekly interaction. This afternoon amongst other topics, The Satanic Verses crept into the conversation. Then someone said to another someone: If you insult my religion I will kill you. That jolted me. I didnt expect this outburst. I wanted to leave but it would be impolite, so I drifted to the dining table to chat up two new lady-bloggers, Norfalezah Arshad of cerita ibu and Wan Shana, who made their maiden visit to Maria's. I am usually the last to leave, but I was still disturbed and shortly later, I took my leave. Back at the condo, I got into my swim togs and did twenty laps to cool myself. I was still hot and bothered over what transpired. As the pipe-smoke swirled with a light breeze I went back to May 13 1969 in Sentul. Karen was giving tuition to the Korean Ambassador's kids in Jalan Pahang and on my insistence, the embassy car brought her back to Jalan Sentul, safe. In the meantime a crowd was already attacking the Sri Jaya buses that plied that route. Then Karen reminded me: What is going to happen to Hamid? Ronnie Hamid, our colleague is the only Malay renting a unit, like us, at Union Flats. I went down the two flights of stairs and went to where the commotion was. Identifying who the leader was, an Indian, I went up to him and told him that a chegu in a fiat PB 1173 would be coming home soon as he too had gone out to give tuition in Jalan Ipoh. This guy, slapped me, broke my spectacles and shouted: Are you Chinese or Malay? and threw a kanda stick for me to use. I still bear the mark of the cut on my right nostrils. Before I could reply another Indian man came up and told him that I was a chegu in La Salle. He apologised profusely but told me to get lost. Thank God Hamid got wind of trouble and never came back. During May 13 we hear of many stories of how Malays and Chinese protected each other. In this current situation and in such a polarised environment I wonder if the same protection will ever take place. I pray it will but I have become very pessimistic of late. RELIGION IS ALWAYS A BONDING,BINDING FORCE. RELIGION TEACHES US TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER. WHICH RELIGION WILL ENCOURAGE FRIENDSHIP TO CEASE? WHICH RELIGION WILL TEAR FAMILIES APART? TODAY, WARS, GENOCIDE, ARE WAGED IN THE NAME OF RELIGION. RELIGION TODAY IS PITTING PEOPLE OF THE SAME RELIGION AGAINST ONE ANOTHER.
A phone called derailed my train of thoughts. The caller reminded me of our date at 8pm in Dataran Merdeka. It was a candlelight vigil for Revathi, who is under re-education. She is thus separated from her husband Suresh and their child is with her parents. A family torn asunder because of religion. It had rained at about 7.30pm. At 8.00pm Joe Xavier, Toney Yew and I and some 300 Malaysians gathered, lit their candles and prayed on their own. There were no organised speeches, no singing.....Malays, Chinese, Indians, Sikhs, Eurasians, Kadazans....all quietly bonding. I met up with many friends but was especially happy to meet up with former colleague Datuk A Vaithilingam, President, Malaysian Hindu Sangam. If you want a faultless definition of a gentleman, that's Vaithi. The police were around. They ensured that the crowd did not spill into the road for their safety. When the clock struck 9.00pm all quietly dispersed, some thanking the police for their presence and assistance. I got back a little of the faith in Malaysians that I thought I had lost in the afternoon. Allow me to leave this prayer for your contemplation and sustenance:

PRAYER OF FRANCIS OF ASSISI

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.