OF PATRIOTS & pretenders.

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BE COOL EVEN IF YOU START A FIGHT.

One year, CSL decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Birthday gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....and he had to move into a BP Hotel.

+++++

Shammy and his wife were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in bed.
He turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. He then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at him this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So he said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend Umee."
And that's how the fight started...

+++++

A Cabinet Minister took his wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took his order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, BLUE, not rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that's how the fight started.....and she is getting help from UMNO fixer-lawyer, Shaft Abdullah.

+++++

Ibby and his wife were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
Ibby asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend... . I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

My God” Ibby said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

If that did not start a fight, she must be as dumb as Ibrahim Ali!

+++++

When Jabu’s lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow he always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the car, making tuak…. something more important to him besides his CM. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When he arrived home one day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a minute, and when he came out again he handed her a toothbrush and said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
And that's how the fight started...and he could share this experience with NRC11, Jib’s fan club.

+++++


Saturday morning Bung got up early, quietly dressed, and slipped quietly into the garage, loaded his golf gear and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so he pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. He went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipping back into bed...… cuddled up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
His young wife replied, “And can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing in that weather”

And that's how the fight started...but be positive….Datuk T(rio) may have that tape.

+++++

THE OTHER FOOT TOO MEMFLOM +++++ His ladyship was hinting about what she wanted for their upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." His lordship bought her a bathroom scale. And that's how the fight started from the bathroom and into the FLOM office complex. +++++ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's ID to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. . When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office... She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' But no fight ensued because it was a brilliant idea! Gotcha! +++++ His wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near 2020 luv.” And that's how the fight started..... .and he was forced to burn his cross-border matrimonial go-ahead certificate. +++++ FIGHT IS GOOD, KEEPS US SUPPLE. BUT LIKE OUR LEADER YOU GOTTA BE COOL, YAH?

WHERE GOT COOL LIKE THAT?

THESE "CONFORM" SERIES ARE MOB1900 CREATIONS.

Among the reforms Najib announced on Malaysia Day included amendments to the Printing Presses and Publications Act (PPPA) that has been seen as the biggest obstacle to media freedom in the country.

"Realising the reality that Malaysia has changed, feeling the pulse, apprehension and aspirations of the rakyat who want a Malaysia that has a more open and dynamic democracy, where opinions, ideas and concerns are given more attention.

"(We must do so to) stand on par with other democratic systems in the world, based on the universal philosophy of from the people, by the people, for the people. The government, under Section 3 Article 150 of the federal constitution, will table to both parliamentary bodies a motion so that all three proclamations of emergency are lifted," said Najib. On Malaysia Day on Sept 16, Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak claimed that he would repeal the draconian Internal Security Act to make Malaysia the best democracy in the world.

WHERE GOT COOL WHEN THIS LAMPAH-BIN OF MCMC BANS THE UNDILAH VIDEO AND NTV7 “I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL” SERIES.

A reader taxed me that this Rais dick should be in the fart chamber. Cannot lah, I am against cruelty to ANIMALS! Maybe, I will change my mind after recalling that recently he asked for RM100million to set up a Seni Budaya in Jelebu. The EU “deliberated” read stalling. After Raya, it is believed that MOF approved only RM5million. Is Rais striking back at the numero uno….is he now on M3 court?

Anyway, an IMPLOSION is impending. When it happens, we can gather the seeds, dry them and fry them as kua chee and sell cheap…..that would be cool, yes?

BEING A DICKHEAD IS COOL

HOW MUCH COOLER CAN YOU GET?

I gathered that some FEEL GOOD radio stations scored a cool scoop! Sounds like the Sibu call: You help me, I help you.

You won’t get my favorite BFM going into such frivolities. They rather bring you THE Branding Guru Jack Trout who said that only countries with poor image and in deep distress uses PR companies to do damage control.

REMEMBERING ADELE KOH AND JEAN PERIERA SINNAPPA

Yesterday in their Reliving 40 Years series, the STAR featured two ladies I knew as friends.

I met Adele at one Press Ball. We used to have lots of Balls those days like the Ad Agency Balls. Every organization held one ball or another annually. However, when we questioned why nobody held the government’s Ball, a furor ensued and we never had anymore Balls and henceforth only Annual Dinners…..no more holding any Balls. Period. I digress….

Adele, when we reminisced, reminded me that she boarded with Mum when she had a brief stay in Taiping. I was training to be a teacher in Penang then. I remember Adele for many things, some told to me by her journalists’ colleagues. But we all agreed on one thing…..her legs were meant only for mini-skirts which was the rage then and dang, she did carry those minis so well. All typewriters stopped clacking when Adele entered the Press Desk. She had straight, healthy jet-black hair which was in vogue then. In 1975 she moved to South Australia as a political staffer and later became the wife of the 35^th Premier of South Australia, Don Dunstan. "She has the high cheekbones of her Asian forebears," wrote one, "and she walks with the in-born grace of the East." The fact that she was from Penang added to her exotic status. If you thought she was a bimbo, how wrong you are. She chided the Australian Press:

"The trouble is that the Australian press is still infantile," she said. "It does not know how to control its bowels. Only one paper has to get on to a good story and we get several cases of verbal and pictorial diarrhea, all trying to go one better."

If cancer of the lungs did not end this young firebrand’s life can you imagine what she would today say about our Main Stream Media! Maybe much worse things! No?

JEAN PEREIRA SINNAPPA and I were colleagues at Sek. Sultan Abdul Samad, PJ. I did not know Jean was the wife of my regular oasis (read watering hole) buddy until a school teachers’ get-together. From thence our friendship gelled although she taught in the afternoon session. When I was the President of the Staff Council, Jean was an able secretary. Being a former beauty queen Miss Negri Sembilan of 1971 as well as Miss Selangor and Miss Malaysia runner-up, she was a celebrity of sorts but remained her usual charming and unassuming self as a teacher. According to her, Sinnappa always chided her whenever she went for her regular Saturday visit to her hairdresser. She confided that Sinnappa told her that she was always beautiful to him and it was not necessary for those Saturday visits. One New Year Eve she called me to tell me this: “This morning, Sinnappa told me to go make myself the most beautiful lady for him tonight.” We lost Sinnappa in the early hours of the New Year in an accident. Jean was flung out of the car but survived with minor injuries.

On 7 April, 1979 I was in school waiting for my Selangor Under 18 football team to assemble. Aklis the clerk rushed up to me and told me that Jean was murdered. At her funeral I requested to be one of her pall bearers. I do not want to go into the murder trial and want to remember her as she was always – graceful, gracious and gorgeous.

Weeks later when I was a guest of DJ Constance Haslam at the Radio Malaysia studio I asked Connie to play this song:

CAN'T FIGHT 'EM, CHARGE 'EM read CAN PIGS CLIMB TREES?

Mohamad, widely known as Mat Sabu, faces a charge under Section 505 of the Penal Code for making a statement liable to lead to public mischief.

MISCHIEF OR FOWL FOUL PLAY?

A leaked US Embassy cable carries an explosive charge against former Election Commission (EC) chief Abdul Rashid Abdul Rahman - that he admitted to personally granting citizenship and Malaysian identity cards to over 60,000 foreign migrant workers (predominantly Muslims from Indonesia and Mindanao in the Philippines) in Sabah, in exchange for their votes in state assembly elections to help Umno assume political control over Sabah.

During that decade, Umno granted citizenship and Malaysian identity cards to over 600,000 foreign migrant workers in Sabah. This is attributed to Mahathir’s PROJECT IC.

Mischief or TREASON?

In 2007, then EC Chairman Abdul Rashid Abdul Rahman said that "there is only one regime in this country that is capable of running (the country)."

He let slip today his views on which 'regime' he regards as being capable of running the country, and said those who disagree with him do not realise the 'critical' situation the country is in.

If this is not mischievous, then pigs can climb trees.

Abdul Rashid went on to say that he was on the same wavelength as his friend, senior Umno leader Sanusi Junid, about what the country needs. “If we don't agree, then we are in trouble, because I run the elections," he boasted.

Not blatant mischief?

Wan Ahmad (CURRENT Deputy EC)added, "BN has never attacked or put down the EC. That is the difference between PAS, DAP, PKR and BN."

Critics of the EC say that BN has no reason to attack or put down the EC, as the EC is doing BN's work.

Mischief or otherwise?

SAKMONGKOLAK47 aka Datuk Ariff fumed: I wouldn’t want the Bangladeshi pump attendant to have the same voting rights as I do. How the elections commission can with impunity insult our intelligence by claiming the latest voters lists are meant for internal circulation is beyond any measure of decency!

Isn’t this capital mischief?

+++++

ANIL HAS THE LATEST

HERE

TAKING OVER SELANGOR? WEAPON? WASTE!

The first salvo is FIRED!

ALAM FLORA, will cease collecting Selangor waste on 15 October!

The Selangor State Government Exco is meeting this evening to address this potential chaos.

You do not need much guessing on who is behind this.

The Federal Government, read BN, has tried all means from religion to race to win back Selangor.

The people in Selangor were not easily cowed.

They stood their ground until now.

But it will be different now, you bet.

The Federal Government have resorted to playing with DIRT!

Their crony company will let your waste pile high.

HOW NOW SELANGOR?

CAUGHT FLAT-FOOTED?

ITS WAR YAH?

AND WARS ARE ALWAYS DIRTY, NO?

VERY CHOOOONNNNNN PETE!

TODAY PETE SAID

THIS

ON JUNE 28, 2008

I WAS WISHING FOR

THIS