Yesternight I joined Queenie & Lim Sun, Bill & Lillian, Boom & Rodi and fine wine purveyor Ellen Yau at Jl Robson's Syu Syu. Lim Sun had brought back from Sarawak this exotic fish whose name I fail to register. We washed this down with Bill's Old Pulteney, some Tigers and Ellen's red and white offerings. The conversation ranged from comely bastards to ugly bitches; strategies to tragedies and the possiblility of Rodi standing for elections. The gods seemed to make a point and the storm was torrential. It was around this time that I forgot to engage brain before opening my mouth. I said I did enjoy a dry frenchy Sauternes some 40 years ago up in Penang Hills. This was when Ellen glared at me and thats when I swallowed that pesky fish bone that is now resident in my throat. Serves me right for calling the king of sweet wines, dry. Good to note that I already have a Yau in the family....and when these Heng Hwa women fix their glare at you, you may need Jibby's UTK boys for assistance. Stretching exercise is recommen ded in the morning and I am doing just that with my imagination.....but the irritant fish bone is still there.I NEED HELP!
PARAQUAT AND THINNER WILL NOT BE ON THE LIST!
ANY SOLVENTS THAT I CAN USE?
ANYTHING THAT I SHOULD SWALLOW?
WILL GARGLING WITH MALT MELT THE F*##@!^ BONE?
PARAQUAT AND THINNER WILL NOT BE ON THE LIST!
ANY SOLVENTS THAT I CAN USE?
ANYTHING THAT I SHOULD SWALLOW?
WILL GARGLING WITH MALT MELT THE F*##@!^ BONE?
(Free advice is welcomed because I still have not been paid by Anwar yet!)
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COMING UP NEXT:
IS MERICAN PAPERING OVER SOME MISDEEDS OF THE POLICE?
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COMING UP NEXT:
IS MERICAN PAPERING OVER SOME MISDEEDS OF THE POLICE?
Try deep throat or french kissing Zorro. Worked for mw he last time I had a similar episode.
ReplyDeleteAlways a pleasure to be with RIGHTEOUS people.
Peace Admiral Tojo
eat bananas...it may help :) it might be a case of overdrinking binge.....
ReplyDeleteif bananas don't work, get a ball of rice and stuff it in...that will do the job....whatever it is...be ready to battle herr wenger from rembau...
if swallowing ball of rice or lump of banana still do not work, try apple cider vinegar - this might melt the calcium.
ReplyDeleteOK ... the best way to dislodge a fishbone is to swallow a tablespoonful of thick HONEY.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Ow Uncle Zorro..thats so disturbingly uncomfortable..they say get a cat to stroke your throat because cats never have problems with bones in their throat. If it persist, please see a medical doctor or one who have a steady had to pluck out the bone using the tweezer ( i did that once to my 'patient')..Take care uncle
ReplyDeleteSee a good doctor to get it out with a simple procedure. If swallowed other things, the bone may get embedded deeper with worst consequences and the doctor may not be able to get it out.
ReplyDeleteDon't play play with this bone.
ReplyDeleteIt may puncture your throat or your gut as it slides down lower. It is fatal. Better you go to a hospital to have it removed by the doctor. My brother swallowed a triangular piece, the size of a 20 sen coin, and it cost him RM8,000 to get it out!!! Next time, when eating fish (head), just eat, don't talk lah. Drink can.
This sarawak fish must be the empura, in mandarin, wang pur liao (forget me not) and helluva expensive one, RM600+ per kg.
You mean you don't know Anwar is a bad paymaster.
ReplyDeleteHeard many complaints about him using their services and leaving them high and dry.
Uncle Zorro you have worked very hard.
Time for a well-earned rest. Go on a holiday to Bahamas and have fun with your grandson.
Anwar will gladly sponsor your three-months stay at least.
Maybe he's keen on thr trip too.
Enroute he can stop in America.
But Wolfowtiz has no more clout under Obama.
Old chap, if all else fails, try opening your mouth and stick a finger in as far down the throat as possible (a bit of choking will occur of course) to try and feel the F*##@!^ bone. Once it is located, use two fingers now to try and pull it out. Make sure you are standing in front of your sink cos you are going to be choking big time whilst doing it. But it works everytime for me! Try it.
ReplyDeleteZorro, this one needs patience and persistence, a kind of dialogue if you will. If you are wont to lean to the philosophical, let it stay there, as an irritant, a bit like UMNO...utilise it to keep as a reminder ( not that you need any, I am sure for i have seen your courage) but oh what joy, whence the next GE, you would scream so Looouuud at our win that the offending bone will dislodge itself in joining your ecstatic cries!!! and you will say finally ' i have no bone to pick', cause the offending body has been removed off the political landscape....failing that try eating a ball of rice, while doing a headstand...
ReplyDeleteGo see a doctor. same thing happened to me recently. Rice and bananas didn't work. Went to the emergency department and the doctor fished out the bone in a jiffy (pardon the pun). The offending bone is usually stuck in an area of the upper throat and can be easily seen if you open wide and say aah.....
ReplyDeleteDear uncle Zorro,
ReplyDeleteDepends on how far down it got stuck in your throat, normally it can be easily fixed by the doc with his torchlight & a crooked forceps, otherwise just leave it as it is and the irritation will disappear after a few meals.
wifey says take lime and gargle the throat..to soften the fish bone..something about lime softens calcium material..i say take the lime and soften the bone faster with a couple swigs of vodka..cheers..kk
ReplyDeletePlease just go see an ENT surgeon.
ReplyDeleteGo see a Doctor lah!!! Unless you can switch your mind into a trance, and think of yourself as repaying vow in thaipusam!!
ReplyDeletePerhaps love juice might do the trick. Its very low in pH
ReplyDeleteGet Rosie to do a striptease and you may throw up even the most rusty of anchor you may have consumed over the bubbly years.
ReplyDeleteIf it's silvery and sweet, then it must be ikan terebok. I'll let you into a secret. Eat the tail end the time you have the fish because the bones are concentrated at the head area. Not recommended for kids for obvious reason. It's salted role is nice with porridge. It's Alfred Jabu's favourite fish. He probably put a curse on you Zorro. Go get a doctor to remove it if all else fail.
ReplyDeletealibaba
a fishbone lodged in the throat is not funny. if all home remedies fail, you have to consult a doctor. in fact, if it's painful, you should bypass all and go straight to the doctor.
ReplyDeleteUncle Z, Forget all the rice balls, banana and honey. Just go to a good clinic. The procedure will take just a few minutes.
ReplyDeleteI suggest you invite Idzan ismail over & swallow him whole, Zorro. This creature comes across as such a slimeball he'll dislodge the fishbone as he goes down the gullet. When you next go to the loo, make sure you flush twice!
ReplyDeletewow, karma is a bitch huh zorro? when you spew hate from your mouth, dont be surprised if the forces of nature hits back at your dirty mouth
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or Not. It may work!
ReplyDelete-------------------------------
1. After trying swallowing ball of rice and if it still don't work then
2. Stand in your doorway and with one leg outside the doorway and one leg inside the doorway, just say out aloud "Fish Bone go away!"
3. If that still don't work, go see a doctor.
Right on Antares! Actually perhaps Zorro should use Idzan and Soheil, as a suppository, nevermind that you don't actually need one. Soheil you moron, institutionalised hate is far more dirty and does no one any good including for the malays you bodoh, what you don't get is that UMNO actually hate the malays, and TDM's 'malay dilemma' is an understanding of the malay psyche put to good use to keep us down baby..and down is where you have and will keep staying...
ReplyDeleteHahahaha, Toyolbuster, that was one hell of a comment!
ReplyDeleteROTFL!
go and see the expired doctor mamak mahaithir and he will earn his 10%comission by referring you to all the possible investigations
ReplyDeleteZorro, I am serious.
ReplyDeleteI am a medical doctor in PJ, work till 9.30pm nightly during weekday.
If u contact me and if ur problem is serious, I will try to look into ur throat and try to pick it out.
If I fail, its free anyway. No harm done.
And I am not an MCA/MIC/UMNO member, so safety is not an issue.
ytc
I forgot to add my contact:
ReplyDeletepeter1828@gmail.com
i am the one who offer free fish bone removal at PJ.
ytc
Luv all the hilarious comments on account of your misery Uncle Zorro but seriously, go the the doctor NOW and have the bone removed before infection sets in.
ReplyDeleteAnd I sooooo cannot imagine The Admiral frenching anything or anyone LOL !!!
i think the best and fastest way is by poking your finger into your throat... and of course u will vomit (well, a controled one)... i usually do this... very effective... no need to see doctor...
ReplyDeleteThere's a MYTH on how to tackle fish bone being stuck in the throat.
ReplyDeleteSwallow a CAT. The cat will help you help you swallow that stucked fish bone.
Dear Mr Zorro,
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you is to confirm by sight with help of a torchlight that the offending bone is indeed lodged in your throat and if it can be seen then it could be removed with a long nose pliers.(I have removed 1 from my son's throat using pliers.
If the fish bone could not be located by sight it could mean it has passed your throat on its way down your liquor factory but SCRATCHING walls the of your throat and it is the inflammation that is causing the acute pain every time you swallow.(actually the bone is no longer lodged in throath anylonger.)
Hope this helps.
Hey Bernard, you might wanna read this article about the fish you ate and the bone that got caught in the throat of the man who ate it.
ReplyDeletehttp://sarawakiana.blogspot.com/2008/01/tale-of-six-fishes.html
Let's hope you get that osseous tissue out soon or else you're left with toyolbuster's choice of treatment.
Bernard, I've usually resorted to balls of rice - the approved and only method is to gulp/swallow it down in one go - no slow chewing as the aim is to force the rice ball to pick up the bone as it is forced down into one's belly.
ReplyDeleteIf that doesn't work, take another ball etc - if after several balls and no success is 'felt', then kaytee can only advise lots of single malt, not that this will rid the bone but it may relieve your discomfort.
Incidentally Teochews have been reputed to have a saikong (Taoist) type of mandela ('hu' or 'yee') which deals specifically with fish bone stuck in one's throat. But alas, as a teochew nang, I am ashamed to say I didn't inherit this clan voodoo secret as I have been deemed too secular for my elders' liking. Or, I would have extended this 'yee' (not fish lah but that Taoist mandela) to you - burnt 'yee', add water (or single malt) and down the hatch.
But seriously speaking see a doctor, not witch but medical one wakakaka.
By the way, I love this post of yours, not because you're suffering, but I can 'connect' ;-)
Cheers uncle.
pls consult a medium /bomoh = mengapa why !!
ReplyDeleteTwo options - either wait it out or see a ENT consultant. Your body has its own mechanism of getting rid of such nusances, but occasionally it dosent work. If after a few days the discomfort still dosent ease you must see a ENT consultant who will be able to remove it with a simple procedure.
ReplyDeleteKnock, knock! Yer still breathing, Z?
ReplyDeleteYou should contact 1Merican MD and his independent panel of armchair specialists.
ReplyDeleteWho knows they might come up with the suggestion to push up a catheter through the rear orifice and get at the fishbone.
Being experts in backdoor misnistrations and hindside (not hindsight) philosophy and practice, they are the best in the land at the moment.
Before these species die out after the next general elections, make and immediate appointment not for consultation and treatment but to tell them to stuff their newfound expertise on PMs up their rearends.
On a serious note, the fish bone though irritating will dislodge by itself after a few meals. Experience speaks.
Have a nice day and have a few more malts!
1st drink some sour/acidic juice to soften the bone then swallow rice, cooked one ! if still tak boleh, kasih tau, ok !?
ReplyDelete(pakcin)
Poor you. I symphatise with you.
ReplyDeleteBut, if all else fails, chop off your head! Sure cure.
anon 902pm, symphatise with both your parents = u chopped off their kepalas wen they suffered like el zor !!
ReplyDeleteA bit late to the rescue.
ReplyDeletea) When a fish is stuck in the first place swallow a huge spoon of rice quickly. the bone will be gone in no time.
b) gargle with vinegar added with some sugar
c) pray very hard or ask friends to pray for you.
d) see a very good doctor.
By the way - some Sarawak fish can be really irritating.
Which type did it to you?
Hope you are already cured by now.