Friday, June 10, 2011

FRIDAY GUEST BLOGGER: PLANET OF THE MONYET.

The Sex Workers Institution of Malaysia (SWIM) announced that the organization will be disbanded after almost all its members quit to join COW (Club for Obedient Wives).


Kuala Lumpur, 9 June.

The Malaysian Club for Obedient Wives (COW) today announced that it is seeking funds to conduct its research on how to make its members be better than a prostitute in bed. Malaysian COW’s International Vice-President, Dr Rohaya Mohamed told MNN (Monyet News Network) that the organization needed RM 2880 to carry out field trials to validate some of its earlier research findings.

Dr Rohaya added “we think a sample size of 40 COW members should be sufficient to test our hypothesis at a confidence level of 99%. Once we have completed our field trials, we will publish our findings in our own journal Tabloid Isteri Taat Setia (TITS).

Go HERE for the complete post.

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I am reliably informed by sources close to SOW {SENIOR OBEDIENT WIVES}, a subsidiary of FLOM, that RM2880 is merely a pea-nut estimate for purchase of vibrators, motorized dildo and serrated condoms. Because of lack of funds, PDRM has generously donated whips, cuffs, chains (recently used in Penang) dog collars and leash as part of bondage and fetish gears. Additional funds are required to fast-track the learning curve of the 40 COWs. On the shopping lists are inflatable male dolls, screaming rings, strap-on, tengas, penile toys and anal beads. A covert recruitment of HIV-free gigolos is underway for the ultimate accreditation of the first bitch, batch of COWs.

Interested readers and researches are advised to subscribe to TITS.

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30 comments:

  1. CruzeiroJune 10, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    Hahaha- this is one lovely post!!

    I loved it!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. shar101June 10, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    WTH is a screaming ring, Z?

    And does it come with GPS(*)?

    (*) G-spot Positioning System

    ReplyDelete
  3. Monyet KingJune 10, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Thanks for featuring my blog here, boss. I have some spare application forms for the COW, if any of your readers are interested. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. zorroJune 10, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    Shar101....an improved version of the goat's eye of our era....dang, you not my era.....that will cost you a jug brother.

    Doc Cruz....good way to start the weekend yah?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Alphard LiowJune 10, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    MCA can do nothing for the Chinese community in terms of education, economic opportunities or protection of religious rights. The Chinese have woken up to this. When is the MCA going to wake up and realised that they have been 'castrated' by Umno?

    For decades, MCA has not been able to resolve the non-recognition of the UEC (Unified Examination Certificate). Now the government is looking into this because the Chinese have swung to Pakatan. As usual, the MCA will shamelessly claim credit for this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    without man's steak ...oops sorry, rib , woman could NEVER exist , so...
    so...ladies , pls be grateful & obligatory when on beds with men , ok !!??

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    国阵，马华，民政统统回家睡, 因为你们本来就在睡!

    DAP万岁!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. NiamahJune 10, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    Water tariffs in Johor are three to six times higher than Penang’s.

    Serves those johoreans right for voting in bn. May their water tariffs go up to six thousand times higher than Penang’s.

    ReplyDelete
  9. new fartJune 10, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Ha...ha....bro, this is one sexy post man, love it.
    A suggestion here, the best way to make all these COW members is to let them be the real prostitutes for a couple of weeks. This way they will get the real customers plus a lot of weirdos and maniacs who will definitely teach a trick or two. Only condition is not to have that RoHAIya (note the middle Cantonese sounding acronym) be a participant cos even the hardest of weirdos or maniacs will puke once they see her!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. toyol busterJune 10, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    I thought Khir Toyol said his house is worth only RM3 million? Finally we all know who is the liar. With this kind of lie, we should not return his datukship, irrespective if he won this case or otherwise.

    This is a clear example how Umno politicians can misuse their power to earn money beyond their salaries and blatantly display their wealth to the public. Selangor has many squatters who do not even have a decent roof above them, but Khir Toyo can live like a sultan or raja.

    Is this the 'Negara Kebajikan' as proclaimed by PM Najib Razak?

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    As reciprocal : men should form a club bernama GSC for obedient wives'
    orgasm !

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 8:41 PM

    To teach wives to be more professional than protitutes.Wow,then their customers will surely have the bang for their buck.Must be a special position or technic that the trade has never seen before.
    Dr. Rohana,please print out your number on Zorro's blog.I am sure many of Zorro's readers would like to visit you to see with their their own eyes that you really are what you said you are.That you will put your money where your mouth is.Enjoyment and been pleasured by you and your members is where even the overstretched dude is willing to part with their hardearned ringgit.I support you 100% on your public services.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 8:54 PM

    To be more professional than the hardcore of the worlds oldest profession.Well first, let me ask Dr. Rohana if she knows what she is talking about.To be a prostitute or a whore,when servicing clients,one cannot have feelings or seem to be enjoying sex when the custermer is at the top of his game.Can you and your members do that.If you can then your husbands need to get more than four wives.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJune 10, 2011 at 9:41 PM

    Dear Bernie,This Dr. Rohana is either a very sick or a sex crazed lady.Either way she needs to go for theraphy treament.She said she went to the Chow Kit area brothels to observed protitutes satisfying their customers.What she meant is she was watching live action in a "TIGER SHOW".I thought "TIGER SHOW" was only permitted in Thailand only.On top of that she said she also did a three month stint too.Three month stint for what.Servicing or live participant in"TIGER SHOWS".This Rohana lady is speaking with her foot instead of her head.She thinks that publicity is good,but she doesn't realised that she is making a damned fool of herself.

    ReplyDelete
  15. telur duaJune 10, 2011 at 10:52 PM

    Porn pedlars should see an increase in their business, thanks to COW.

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 12:46 AM

    knn,

    2880 too much for you,UMNO?

    ReplyDelete
  17. JongJune 11, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    'Whores in Bed' like her should first shed those canvas tents and show more skin otherwise even the best of "Victoria Secret" just won't match. Betul tak Fat MamaPenguin?

    And RolHAIna, please remove those grandma glasses!

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    good shack, zorro.

    he he he he

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 1:04 PM

    Then a good teacher, still is now. Go on Zorro!

    JT

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    biniku selalu complains of ' manyak
    tired , dryness, stomach headache , UTI ...' when aku mahu shiok dgn dia !
    BUT she's a non-muslim , can she join the COW to learn how to act like a prostitute !? PLEASE !!

    btw : dr. ROhaiYA is the president of vice ...oops ...vice-president,
    siapakah then is the cif ? ROSE kah ?

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Bolehland is now pre-occupied with sex.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 3:39 PM

    aiyoh where are PERKASA N UTUSAN?/ MAS lost again as reported in the media today -only RM 267 MILLION in Q1 2011. a small loss lah. oh MAS where is my gold?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mata KucingJune 11, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    Sarawak has enough of top legal brains to form a restitution team to help obtain documentary proofs of Sarawak thief minister Taib Mahmud’s investments overseas. MACC is giving excuses for being slow and having to face red tapes in obtaining documentary proofs from foreign countries.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousJune 11, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    First, it was "Old Wives Club". Then, came this little whore wanabe, LoHaiNar (Rohaya?) who managed to train the hell minister so well that he have to cari makan di Batu Pahat or was it Muar? to be a porn star.
    Well, this COW is now "Club of Old Whores" who are actually unsatisfied nymphomaniacs complaining about the poor performance of their pricks.

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousJune 13, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    dr. told biniku : ' no use lah to join the COW , wat you need is EPO & not cow's milk !!'

    SIGHS !

    ReplyDelete
  26. AnonymousJune 14, 2011 at 6:50 PM

    Biniku : ' ...sorry...sudah manopaused! '

    Aku : " ...but...man-NO-pause one ! "

    ReplyDelete
  27. Monyet KingJune 15, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    Hi zorro,

    The Malaysian COW has got managed to get funds to carry out its research. The latest report here

    http://planetofthemonyets.blogspot.com/2011/06/mnn-malaysia-cows-field-trials-in-full.html

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousJune 16, 2011 at 4:30 AM

    Biniku was having UTI ...again .
    Together we consulted a young pretty lady doctor in her clinic ; she advised us to be always clean, then she stared deep into my eyes & told me to put my hands on the table to check if they are BERSIH & nails cut or not & said .....!
    Aku : " ...wat!? ...me?...I....!? "
    Biniku blushed !

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousJune 20, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    El Zor, does dirty hand or dirty mind cause UTI !?

    ReplyDelete
  30. AnonymousJune 22, 2011 at 1:12 PM

    dear doc, a help for u http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hy-jGkTrg_w

    ReplyDelete