AFTER plouging thorough a platter of Ploughman’s at Sid’s last night I pointed my regular readers and friends to RPK’s LET’S HAVE A GOOD LAUGH TODAY posting. My sms asked them to give me some feedback about Satu Hala. The feedback came fast and furious interrupting my liaison with my pints of flavored Guiness. Then I recruited the help of a former Singapore student, a photo-fit expert cum physiognomy sifu to come up with an image of Satu Hala from the feedback. It is a blessing to have talented former students. Here it is:
Was it hard learning to be so ugly or were you a fast learner?
Every one has the right to be ugly, but you abused the
privilege.
If your conscience could be surgically removed, it would be a minor operation.
You must come from the shallow end of the gene pool.
Waiting for you to say something intelligent is like putting a candle in the window for Augustine Paul.
If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment.
You lost your mind when a butterfly kicked you in the head.
You must have a very large brain, to hold so much ignorance.
Your brain is so weak, you have to wear crutches under your ears.
One evening in your company and men volunteer to become eunuchs.
You know, I do understand you, although I am reputed to have a way with dumb animals.
You are such a sourpuss, that when you suck a lemon---the lemon makes a face.
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped.
Your mouth is so big, you could suck an egg from a chicken.
Aren't you the poster child for birth control?
You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
You are living proof that man can live without a brain.
If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.
I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a
vulture would eat.
I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough
oxygen at birth?
When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up
for the pigs.
It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't
matter.
I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive than you are.
I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.
Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know
you've got a palm.
I will never read the writing of Satu Hala -> it is a one direction way to influence me into writing broken English.
ReplyDeleteI'll add to that:
ReplyDeleteHe is such a sex maniac he got himself mind f...d.
Aisehman Bernard why you so bad? Don't get so personal lah! I just think that that satu hala guy is like what he say he is "satu hala". ..once he gets into anything he simply cannot gostan! So please have some consideration for that poor guy. He is in the 'stupid is as stupid does' zone...and there is only one way he can go...stupider and stupider and stupider! Not much to look forward to in life if you are in that situation...as they say “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” So be kind to 'satu hala'...
ReplyDeleteSalam
Love ya Satu Hala. You really depicted what the botak-head is really about.
ReplyDeleteDear Zorro
ReplyDeleteOne more comment for Satu Hala:
"It's official. An amoeba is a more advanced organism than you!"
Hi Bernard, this is off the topic but needs to be said.
ReplyDeleteHave you notied of late that BN has started their strategy to destabilize PR on all fronts while evil BN are mobilizing their grassroots to get their members to register to be eligible to vote.
While PR needs to engage the evil BN machinery, PAS,PKR & DAP should not forget to do the same; that is ensuring your voters get voter machinery goes to the ground without wasting precious time to engage those rakyat who has yet to register as voters.
The political barometer is pointing to a soon to come GE maybe before the year is out.Please inform your readers to do their part by asking their friends /relatives how have yet to sign up as a voter to stop sitting on their fat a*#!
We wish you and PR godspeed!
Umno produces world beaters who cant write or comprehend simple English. In short, Umno produces idiots and morons who have shamed the country with their 'poetic' english. I have seen answer papers in Universiti Malaya. Boy, the English is enough to make you throw up. These are the graduates who end up working for Umno.
ReplyDeleteZorro
ReplyDeleteYou are equally guilty, are you not? Perhaps your title should read: "If writing English poorly was a crime..."
Hey Zorro, my favorite: If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment.
ReplyDeleteLOL ;p Thanks!
You know, it was always great to see older Malay gentlemen speak good English and their willingness to communicate with other races of similar ages using this language as they understand the limited opportunities in the fifties and sixties to master the Bahasa if you were studying in either English, Chinese or Tamil medium schools. By the same token, they of course also speak excellent Bahasa for the fact that they are Malay. So heck..what's wrong with mastering 2 or 3 different languages? What's so wrong for young people nowadays to master another language other than his mother tongue instead of forcing them to master only the Bahasa? It's pathetic to see them speaking in broken English let alone writing correctly. How are they to compete internationally?
ReplyDeleteZorro, if I may add:
ReplyDelete" Always use condom or else you may end up with a son like this "
Uncle B, I nearly died laughing!!!
ReplyDelete