UNCLE Z, HOW COME YOU NOT CELEBRATING?

READER Ben, quite used to my rantings when unrelated comments come into my comment box, cautiously emailed me the question above.

No Ben, I am not really celebrating. I will only celebrate when MU wins in Rome on 27 May against Barca. It will be the eve of Penanti Nomination Day, but I will catch it live, no matter what.

Jeya, with whom I watched the match live at the Fishing Hole also sent me a mail that said: BRAG, BRAG, BRAG! Sure I will brag big time until Gus throws me out, he being a Liverpool fan. It is his place so my bragging might be done outside the Wharf proper.Dang, forgot I will be at Penanti....I will brag during the nomination day gathering.

If MU wins you will witness an awesome parade!

United’s victory parade: the plans

Manchester United supporters can look forward to a victory parade in the city IF the Reds triumph over Barcelona in the 2009 Champions League Final. Here are the plans for United's homecoming:

Rioting Rangers fans may have rained on their parade in 2008 but, this year, the United faithful will get the chance to welcome their idols on the streets of Manchester.

United's last victory parade was in 1999

Details are still being finalised but Manchester and Trafford councils have confirmed that there will definitely be a victory parade the day after the final (Thurs 28 May) IF United win.

United's last homecoming in the city was in 1999 when the team won the treble. This time, police have warned that with thousands of fans expected to turn out early, Manchester could be gridlocked for up to EIGHT hours.

So IF United win, what’s going to happen, and when?

Albert Square

At around 4 - 5pm, depending on what time the players get back from Rome, there will be an official welcoming ceremony in Albert Square when the victorious players will be presented to the crowd.

Numbers will be limited to around 8,000 in the Square. The event will be an all-ticket affair with tickets available on a first-come, first-served basis.

Victory parade

From Albert Square, the players will board an open-top bus on a route through the city centre going out to Old Trafford.

Hundreds of thousands of fans will be able to line the route along Deansgate and A56 Chester Rd with the parade ending at Trafford Town Hall on Talbot Rd.

How long?

It's expected the bus will take around four hours to get along the route but depending how many people turn up, it could take longer.

How many fans?

Estimates suggest that half a million people will turn up if United retain the Champions League title.

As May 28 falls in the school half-term holidays, many families are expected to come into Manchester early to get a good spot on