Saturday, January 3, 2009

HANTU'S EMAIL ARRIVED

For purposes of clarity I have positioned Mr Barak's reply point by point, after Dr M's, in red italics.....just in case your train of thoughts get derailed......


Dear Mr. President,
Dear Mr Former Prime Minister,

I did not vote for you in the Presidential Election because I am Malaysian.

I know you wouldn’t vote for me even if you could….just my gut feel, garnered from your writings. What a way to start a letter? Rather unfriendly and negative, if you permit me to volunteer. I hope you are feeling just right and not under the weather, despite your monthly injections?

But I consider myself one of your constituents because what you do or say will affect me and my country as well.

Come again….I am aware that you did pay big bucks to have a word with Bushy, and on returning you kinda bush-whacked him and America. NO? As to affecting you and your country, that is quite a motherhood statement.

I welcome your promise to change. Certainly your country, the United States of America need a lot of changes.

I rallied my people with “YES WE CAN”….that sir, is not a promise. It is a commitment. Promises can be broken easily. Let me recall that when you were Prime Minister you changed the rules that made it difficult for anyone to challenge your premiership. They had to have a certain amount of nominations. Recently you reneged on that and told UMNO to abandon that policy.

Of course, the US of A needs a lot of changes. We change our President every 5 years. American’s will NOT allow me to be their President for more than two terms…10 years at most and not 22 years.

Your young country needs changes too. For a start, clean up your comical electoral roll; that laughable but devious postal vote thing; the corruption, which UMNO euphemistically label as money politics that you recently accused your own ex-party of being smeared with; that perverted ISA; your corrupt cops and toothless ACA; your blemished judiciary……I do not want to believe that you started this, but I am reliably informed that .......; blogs in your country also revealed that your country does not allow its citizens, opposed to the Government, to have free assembly and cannot ride bicycles and burn candles. Lets not get into what the pot called the kettle but do ponder on this saying of yore: Physician, heal thyself….(before dispensing medicine so liberally.)

Admittedly America needs a change too and we all live in glass houses. YES? If changes do not happen, you can be sure that my people will kick me off the White House! There can be no such thing as hanging on for two decades.

That is because America and Americans have become the best hated people in the world. Even Europeans dislike your arrogance. Yet you were once admired and liked because you freed a lot of countries from conquest and subjugation.

Best hated….now that is something I am learning…. like saying “same difference” sir yeah?.... most hated I have heard. Yes arrogance is a no-no, yes? Like how your arrogant coalition lost 5 states and they still continue to be arrogant.

It is the custom on New Year's day for people to make resolutions. You must have listed your good resolutions already. But may I politely suggest that you also resolve to do the following in pursuit of Change.

Making resolutions….that is a very western culture….you still believe in these yellow culture resolutions stuff…..by the way….I do not make resolutions….I make commitments. Resolutions are for the weak-willed.

1) Stop killing people. The United States is too fond of killing people in order to achieve its objectives. You call it war, but today's wars are not about professional soldiers fighting and killing each other. It is about killing people, ordinary innocent people by the hundreds of thousands. Whole countries will be devastated.

2) War is primitive, the cavemen's way of dealing with a problem. Stop your arms build up and your planning for future wars.

3) Stop indiscriminate support of Israeli killers with your money and your weapons. The planes and the bombs killing the people of Gaza are from you.

4) Stop applying sanctions against countries which cannot do the same against you. In Iraq your sanctions killed 500,000 children through depriving them of medicine and food. Others were born deformed.

What have you achieved with this cruelty? Nothing except the hatred of the victims and right-thinking people.

5) Stop your scientists and researchers from inventing new and more diabolical weapons to kill more people more efficiently.

6) Stop your arms manufacturers from producing them. Stop your sales of arms to the world. It is blood money that you earn. It is un-Christian

7) Stop trying to democratize all the countries of the world. Democracy may work for the United States but it does not always work for other countries. Don't kill people because they are not democratic. Your crusade to democratize countries has killed more people than the authoritarian Governments which you overthrew. And you have not succeeded anyway.

8) Stop the casinos which you call financial institutions. Stop hedge funds, derivatives and currency trading. Stop banks from lending non-existent money by the billions.

Regulate and supervise your banks. Jail the miscreants who made profits from abusing the system.

9) Sign the Kyoto Protocol and other international agreements.

10) Show respect for the United Nations.

Sir is this a coincidence? Your good friend Mugabe send me these 10 pointers too. It is not important who the original author is, but I assure you that Congress and not I, as President, will deliberate, decide on or reject your generous advice.

I have many other resolutions for change which I think you should consider and undertake. But I think you have enough on your plate for this 2009th year of the Christian Era.

I greatly appreciate your Christian thoughts.

If you can do only a few of what I suggest you will be remembered by the world as a great leader. Then the United States will again be the most admired nation. Your embassies will be able to take down the high fences and razor-wire coils that surround them.

I do not wish to be a great leader….Hitler was a great leader…..I just want to be a GOOD leader.

May I wish you a Happy New Year and a great Presidency.
And to you the same sir.

Yours Sincerely,
Yours Cordially,
Dr Mahathir bin Mohamad
Barak Obama
(Former Prime Minister of Malaysia)

President-Elect




16 comments:

  1. I love this, I really do love this. Bravo sir.

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  2. haha...el zorro,
    How easy it is to dispense free advise, but not take your own advice..conveniently forgetting who got this country for 22 years in this corrupt state, yes, hehe ? this letter is merely a case of not cleaning the shit in our own backyard !! More comedy for 2009 in the offing !
    Maybe it was wrongly addressed lah bro (sudah lupah alamat lah ) !
    cheers.

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  3. Once a spade, always a spade. Dr M is only best remembered in his days for extenauating monsters like the NEP, APs, ISA. He's also just equally responsible for playing dominance on words like 'bumiteras' (whatever they mean), Malays and UMNO. Many talk about his achievements. Honestly, his destruction of Malaysian harmony during his times is a far costlier price to pay for all the Twin Towers, KLIA, Cyberjaya, Putrjaya, Sepang F1 and what-have-you he had brought to the Nation. Just not worth them all.
    malsia1206

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  4. 2) War is primitive, the cavemen's way of dealing with a problem. Stop your arms build up and your planning for future wars.

    usa arm build up?/!?

    and why the fuck do small potato-shaped country like us keep spending billions of ringgit on military hardwares...

    so my good doc, pls tell those assholes in the defence ministry... when the buying stop, they will stop producing too.

    pordah, look at yourself before accusing other... so it look like you, tun, is the one living in gua niah...

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  5. Anon..3:42pm.......eh...you forgot..no buying of arms means no commissions mah...! See? Who is the defense minister??? Ah...so you see...in this bodohland, everything that BN gomen does is with a purpose..a sole purpose to oil their own pockets!

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  6. WHAT ABOUT OUR CASINO AH !?

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  7. you sound like a disgruntled old and worthless cock who is so envious of Dr.M.
    Fuckers like you got nothing better to do but bitch ... i think you should go sell your crumpled arse to Anwar Ibrahim...

    nyamaaaaaaaaaaacibaiii!

    nstpman

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  8. nspman....since I started blogging in Jan of 2007, this is the first post on the subject of Dr M.

    I did not reject your above comment, because I want my readers to know that we have people of your abject breeding amongst us.

    I am sure that nst man will give you a good mouth-wash.

    Have a productive 2009.

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  9. Gosh! I love this riposte. Lol...

    Sometimes when we're criticize, we need to take things in our stride when the replies come.

    Thank you and happy new year Mr Zorro.

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  10. Man, aren't you a naive one?

    Barack has really made a sucker out of you big time. Now you are presuming his intentions and answering for him his hypothetical replies? There is something very dangerous when a human being gets smitten by an opportunistic, extremely self-absorbed, arrogant and prone-to-extensive-exaggeration phony and snake-oil salesman like Obama.

    It does not surprise me why we frequently read of cases in the news where Malaysians are cheated out of their money and savings by slick conmens and pyramid schemes. Obama is the ultimate political marketing of a political pyramid scheme.

    "There is a sucker born every minute"
    - PT Barnum

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  11. I am one of Tun's supporters, yet, I have to go with you on this one! I support Tun for his 2020...whatever sh*t, yet, in so many occassions, I hate him for his selfishness and corrupt mind. Whatever it is, he was my leader, yess???

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  12. nstpman, wow...nice language and well reasoned comment. Bravo!

    Hahah.. zorro...Mahathir's letter to Obama is just further proof that he indeed deserves ARTiculations' award of Malaysia's Funniest Man 2008. Obama has, through this reply, revealed Mahathir for what he really is, and also for what he really isn't. He is Mr Paradox and Encik Cakap Tak Serupa Bikin redefined.

    And I am being way too polite here.

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  13. who the hell are you to put words in Obama's mouth? WHat give you the right even to write the way you did? Monthly injections? Sheesh.. you're old yourself zorro.. mind your own health and do not belittle others'...

    and getting comments by readers giving compliments AS IF what you wrote are IN LINE with Obama's was a really cheap trick. Promises vs commitment to change..

    aiyoh... can you read what obama can say now??? Why don't you just rebut Dr M's letter from your stand point of you? Instead of using Obama's name..

    BUt what do you know about ethics right Zorro???? happy new year...

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  14. I have a question btw because I am a little confused.

    Why would the US President-elect Barack Obama sign off his name in this communication as Barak Obama?

    Could US President-elect Barack Obama have made a :( pesky typo-error here, or could the Barak Obama here be someone other than the US President-elect Barack Obama?

    Hmm...strange isn't it? And very :) pesky too.

    WE SAY YEAH! :) AND HARIS FOR AG & RPK FOR IGP! GO FOR DSAI FOR PM & LKS FOR DPM & KIND WAN AZIZAH FOR HOME MINISTER.

    New 2009 Resolution: Seek out all garbage and recycle or dispose post haste.

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  15. anon at 8.55pm : u fool, the letter was not tulis by zorro lah !

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  16. LOL! I elect Obama for another term!

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