SIX EASY STEPS TO MILLIONS
STEP 1: Study the previous election scenario. Identify seats won uncontested. Get somebody to
back you with either 10k or 5k depending on how ambitious you are. Guarantee yourSTEP 1: Study the previous election scenario. Identify seats won uncontested. Get somebody to
backer you will get him 10% of whatever millions you will easily inherit..
Possibilities: force a three-cornered fight. This way you may have two possibilities of
being bought off. Of course the highest bid secures.
STEP2: File nomination papers with no fanfare. The less visible you are the better. Your symbol
should preferably be a hand phone. Personally display and carry a poster of your symbol
with your cell phone number in BOLD Fonts. Wear a similar TShirt....with your cell-fone
number screaming out, front and back. If possible take a photograph with your rival(s)
so that his/her handlers will notice your cell phone number.
Possibilities: Contesting against a minister always raises the stake. Take your chance.
STEP3: Go home and wait for a call. If you are a card-carry member of an opposition party, you
need to also pack your bags because if you get an offer you have to disappear fast.
Possibilities: Quick plastic-surgery in Pakistan; if there are no takers and you owe your
Ah Loong 5k/10k best you head for Iraq and volunteer as suicide truck driver....72 not -yet-
deflowered maidens is an explosively orgasmic possibility worth exploiting.
STEP4: Wait for the bag man in pre-arranged rendezvous sans CTV.Possibilities: Known courier services might be used.
STEP5: When the bag man arrives....get him/her to open the brief-case.....and bunker yourself with
explosive-proof last-dream pillows at least 100 feet from the bag man. Leave face
exposed (save on plastic-sugery)...If no explosion occurs, you da man, rich, rich, rich.
Possibilities: money could be forged....I have no advice for you here......you have just
been...............what's that word?
STEP6: If everything is above board go for a long vacation and don't make stupid statements like
"I am pulling out for the sake of my family and out of respect for our beloved
Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi."
Possibilities: If part of the deal entails you to call a press-conference to make the above
prepared and scripted press statement, you have to fulfill that obligation. You are rich now
and can live like a shah but suggest that you invest some of that ill-gotten cash in courses
on "Peace-enhancing Sleep For Blackguards". Such courses are plentiful in Dafur.
by golly you have unmasked yet any masquerade
ReplyDeletei was thinking of tis plan in the last election!!!! but too bad lah... i can't get pass the 10k or 15k !!!!
ReplyDeleteZorro,
ReplyDeleteWhen you are not angry you can be hilarious too. Great piece. Thanks.
zorro
ReplyDeleteno lah. you make fun only eh. islam hadhari dont lie. bn dont lie also, huh/
sigh... really hope the opposition is 150% serious about denying BN 2/3rds majority this time.
ReplyDeleteputting independents aside,
it is disheartening to see them bickering over seats to contest and end up having some of them as multi-corner fights...
and what do you know?
the lesbian won uncontested again...
did nobody ever thought of fielding somewhere there??
sigh... really hope the opposition is 150% serious about denying BN 2/3rds majority this time.
ReplyDeleteputting independents aside,
it is disheartening to see them bickering over seats to contest and end up having some of them as multi-corner fights...
and what do you know?
the lesbian won uncontested again...
did nobody ever thought of fielding somewhere there??
wakakakaka....this is hilarious but true to the core...
ReplyDeleteThe exact sentiments we shared at home when we were talking about the election...
My dad and you will get along very well...
Death note: PKR fielded somebody. The supporters went to his house to take him to nomination. His house was EMPTY! He may be undergoing some facial surgery now....with all the dirty money.
ReplyDeleteEdengarden: Would love to meet your dad and bond over some beers or malts....I will buy and you are invited to drive your dad home. OK?
zorro... is tat true? wow.... who's tat PKR candidate? EMPTY??? sigh.... the power of money huh?
ReplyDeleteOf course..but you will have to buy coffee and tea as he is a non alcohol person..
ReplyDeleteHis children make up for him..but don't tell him that...
YEAR 2008 THE YEAR THAT MALAYSIA WILL CHANGE OR BUST !
ReplyDeletePART ONE
The 50 years of crony, crooked racist politics has at last culminated to this YEAR OF CHANGE. The last 50 years for the Chinese & Indians were the years of living dangerously; the years of living under the specter of racial pogroms. We were threatened by the Malay KRIS and we accepted these humiliation because MCA & MIC had emasculated our people and all for the personal aggrandizement of a few Chinese & one Indian SAMY VELLOO who crawled on his belly to lend cover to UMNO to further the interests of the UMNO oligarchs.
This year has seen the collapsing of many of the pillars that had for 50 years bewitched the Malay rakyat to believe that THE MALAYS CAN TAKE IT ALL FOR THEMSELVES. UMNO had in fact undermined the development and progress of their own Malay people to stay in power. The so called AFFIRMATIVE ACTION that has for so long deprived the Chinese & Indians had by the twist of fate worked to divide the Malays into the elite who enjoy “connected privileges” and the ordinary RAKYAT whose father is not a Tun, Dato or Tan Sri and hence 22 million who are unconnected live like the Chinese & Indians; largely deprived from a share in the distribution of the national wealth.
The Malay rakyat like the Chinese & Indians too had been cheated by the UMNO oligarch from achieving true and real progress; this had been the irony of fate. The truth is that in all the world, no vested interests group of any modern society can ever keep 45% of their population in a permanent state of privation and expect to achieve a harmonious society. There are 1000’s of living example to draw from, why not look at what has become of UGANDA and the consequences of Idi Amin driving the Indians out ! Why not look at Kenya, and to what is even today taking place that invites comparison with “513” but one that you Malays can see in stark relief is to cite the permanent state of war that exist between the Israelis and the Palestinians; can this war ever in our lifetime see peace ?
I do not think that any argument, however well shaped it might be is going to influence change and we all know that Malaysia really need change. It is quite hilarious to say it but it has to be said that Malaysia under UMNO is headed backwards and towards “FEUDALISM”, and what the Malays see as “MALAY PRIDE”. It is really comical that in this day and age when even the British talk of giving up the royal family bullshit; here comes Malaysia wanting the restoration of feudalism. This craziness has a lot to do with the Malay obsession for “rank” or what the Malays call “pankat”; and in this respect they have restored the ceremonial heraldic titles like “Tun” “Tan Sri” “Dato” etc. I observe in the upcoming election that progenies of former UMNO leaders are entering the elections to take the place of their fathers and fore-bears. These events set the foundations for the calcification of a feudalistic oligarchy; and the surest endorsement of these developments is the public denial by non other than former PM Mahatir Mohd. That in his government he did not approve of “DYNASTIC” politics and that for that reason he did not elevate his son to take his place. That to be sure is debatable !
The fore going discussion is the basis for my perspective that “AFFIRMATIVE ACTION RETARDED THE POSSIBLE PROGRESS OF THE MALAYS”.
(1)Why affirmative action or more correctly RACIAL DISCRIMINATION has retarded the progress of the Malay rakyat & the Malaysian nation as a whole.
The truth hurts, I mean the truth to the Malays hurt, but why bother to say anything if it is not the truth. Malaysia has 23 million Malays, and about 5 million Chinese & Indians. We the minority component of Malaysia do not get a look in on the largesse of the government ever but on the other hand we pay the baulk of income tax ( I think about 55% or a bit more); this has gone on from ever since the first days of independence. To say the least the Chinese communist led by Chin Peng forced the early departure of the British. It was not, as claimed by UMNO that the British were forced to leave Malaysia by the Tengku and his UMNO party. If it was not for the pressure of the Communist, then what is the pressure that forced the British out because the Malays fought the Communist on the side of the British ? It was Chin Peng and the Communist Party fighters that caused the British to haemorrhage national treasure (made the Brits go broke) that forced them to leave Malaysia.
The Chinese & Indians do and did contribute to the development of Malaysia and form the baulk of income tax contributors. The least that we can expect is equal treatment; we do not and have not expected any hand outs from the government. We are Chinese and we can look after ourselves; and we live by very little and we save a lot for capital. What I am saying in a nutshell is that we Chinese willingly accommodate the GOVERNMENT’S UNJUST EXPROPRIATION OF THE NATIONAL WEALTH FOR A SMALL ELITE MALAY GROUP.
I had earlier said that 23 million are Malays, and of these 23 million Malays, how many benefited from government scholarships ? Yes ! every year more than 5,000 (“guestimate” agar agar saja), gain scholarships, but of these only a handful of Malay scholars go on and pursue a course of study that has any practical application; the courses pursued are mostly in the “ARTS” disciplines, and very rarely do we see a Malay pursue a course in engineering or in SCIENCES; as a consequence most Malay graduates cannot find employment outside of the government; WHAT A WASTE OF SCARCE RESOURCES. The source of this dislocation between government largesse and returns of funds for training lies in the fact that recruitment of recipients for scholarships are stymied by nepotism and crony politics; the best that the Malay race can offer will not get the scholarships. You need to be the son of somebody to get anywhere. This distortion of the system has gone on for 50 years and will go on if it is not stopped now.
I had earlier said that we Chinese do accommodate you Malays (mostly because we cannot oppose ), but we also do grudge that what we Chinese have been so crudely deprived of go to benefit only a very few and most of these scarce resources are squandered by irresponsible bureaucrats. The results of this wastage is to train an Army of unemployed “clerks” who can do nothing. Unfortunately this blind affirmative actions cannot produce sufficient numbers of useful and highly skilled workers; Malaysia has not progressed at all in the globalised 21st century. We are behind Vietnam, Thailand, and soon you will be behind such 3rd world minnows like Cambodia and Laos.
Tomorrow, I will discuss why Malaysia will regress economically, while the rest of Asean will pass you by.
YEAR 2008 THE YEAR THAT MALAYSIA WILL CHANGE OR BUST !
PART TWO
At the time of “513” I lived at Kamunting Street, which was at the edge of Kampong Bahru. The riots started from Kampong Bahru and engulfed Chow Kit R market. The whole riot was carefully planned by that fellow, former Mentri Besar of Selangor, Dato Harun. There was nothing spontaneous about it at all. It was just foray to slaughter as many Chinese as the Malays can. We who lived in that area around Kamunting Street were ourselves poor Chinese and we went through privation just as much as the Malays, but with one difference, they (Malays) got government assistance while we ahd to scratch for what little that we could. My father was just a lowly accounts clerk and we did not have much as children, even to eat. How much can we expect when my family were 9 children ? Therefore, we were in fact worse off then our Malay nirghbours. All of us Chinese, Indians and Malays have the same background, NOT ALL ARE RICH ! “513” therefore was the bogey to scare us of the minority group into submission and it succeeded because Malaysian Chinese were badly led by common traitors of our own Chinese people. This has gone on for 50 years. This is the year of change and we are accountable to our grand children and their children after then. We all Chinese and Indians have a duty to bring about CHANGE and this is the year because Barisan national is led by a SLEEPY HEAD PRIME MINISTER. GO OUT AND VOTE OPPOSITION.
It is still not fully appreciated by all Malaysians that globalisation has already left Malaysia behind; today it is Vietnam, Singapore, Thailand and very soon it will be the real 3rd world wallahs like Cambodia Burma and Laos that will pass us by. Glad to say it, because the decline of Malaysia is already past redemption, MALAYSIA IS ALREADY A BASKET CASE. Why do I say it with so much relish ? And why not, my experience during the riots has made me want to gloat whenever Malaysia suffers adversity. I am no more or less than what the average Malay will find happiness at the suffering of the Chinese or the Indians. You ENJOY to see me fall and in the same way I enjoy to see you fall. UMNO & the Malays think that they have taken all and left nothing for us; that if I may say so myself, is just about true ! But as I said in my discussion in Part 1, as fate would have it the hoggish behaviour of the Malays laid the very foundation that will see the Malays RACE TO THE BOTTOM of the third world. Sort of like PROVEDENCE has taken the side of the Chinese & Indnas.
I will discuss the thinking that drove UMNO and Malay leaders in Malaysia as opposed to the thinking of Singapore vis a vis the issue of introducing a Bahasa Kebangsaan ( hope I got it right now that I am Australian ), the national language. Malay leaders at the time of Merdeka were all fired up and wanting to change everything “yesterday”; and they went more in the manner of vandals destroying everything and would only have what they thought would be just MALAY. The sin of pride gripped them and every one who is any one IS AN EXPERT. Malay leaders were just plain tunnel “visioned” and they in fact vandalized and discarded their one big advantage which they inherited from their colonial masters, the British. It really amuses me to note that at that time Malaysia had a very distinct advantage over the other “ASEAN” NATIONS, we were fluent in English, Malay, Chinese and to a lesser extent Indian. We were in fact at that time MULTILINGUAL; an absolute advantage in these times of globalisation. To say the least it used to be Japanese that most businessmen wanted to learn when Japan was the biggest dog in the neighbourhood. Now thank god for the Chinese, we have become the bigger dog than the Japs and now even the “Mat Salleh” is learning Chinese. Malaysia had some very excellent Chinese schools, but the Malaysian government’s language policy has caused that advantage to close as well. Malaysia boast that she is an English speaking country when they want to attract Chinese mainland student to come and learn English in Malaysia; WHAT A JOKE ? Sorry to say so, but the truth is that it was in my generation that the last English fluent Malaysia had graduated. Yes, it was my generation that Bahasa Kebangsaan was introduced; and mainly it was because I did not like to learn Bahasa that I left Malaysia. NO REGRETS !
In the case of Singapore, their leaders were more enlightened and they consolidated and progressed with what language advantage that they had at the time of independence. Singapore today teaches in English & Chinese as the main language and other minor languages are allowed to flourish at their own pace. Singapore was progressive and when asked what was Singapore’s advantage, in DOHA recently Mr Lee Kuan Yew said that Singapore had progressed as fast and as far because Singapore had 80% Chinese and 8% Indians; these were according to him was Singapore’s advantage. Why is it that Singapore at the time of independence with no resources, except for their people and with a small population (1 million), and now they are 4 million, had progressed to the extent that today’s GDP for Singapore is higher than that of Australia and their per capita is also higher than that of Australia. This is sure something, believe or not does not matter but those are the facts.
The factor that retarded the progress of Malaysia most was the compulsory insistence that the medium of instruction to be in Bahasa, and that English to be taught for a mere two or three hours per week. Yes, even today there are those Malay chauvinists who want to reintroduce Bahasa as the medium of instruction for MATHS & SCIENCE. The biggest set back for tis language policy is that not too many BOOKS ARE WRITTEN IN BAHASA; and if you do not have the books you just cannot learn Maths & Science ! There is a great rush for Mainland Chinese to learn English because English is the language of science & Maths and in engineering and everything that is important. How would you honestly rate Bahasa as a language og science & maths ? However even if by tomorrow, the Malaysian Government were to reintroduce English like the old times, Malaysia has already GIVEN UP their advantage and to start again will take another 50 years to get to where you were 50 years ago; so in truth Malaysia is 100 years to get to the start line. MALAYSIA IS ALREADY A BASKET CASE AND ALL YOUR JAMALUDDIN AND NAJIBS CANNOT PUT HUMTY DUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN.
I will a write my third part I hope tomorrow.
YEAR 2008 THE YEAR THAT MALAYSIA WILL CHANGE OR BUST !
PART THREE
I read an article in yesterday’s Malaysiakini ( Feb./27) that voters need to punish UMNO, but I believe more correctly that UMNO, MCA and MIC should not exist any longer because fundamentally the reason for the continued existence has too long ago become irrelevant. These three race based Parties were cobbled together willy nilly to bring together the three main races of Malaya for the purpose of agitating for an independent Malaya from the colonial rule of the British. The three “leaders”, of the Tengku, Sambantan and Tan Cheng Lock did not represent the Chinese and Indians, while the Tengku’s leadership, well on that issue I leave it to the Malays to decide; but in the case of Tan Cheng Lock, he was a close friend of the Tengku’s and he was “brought along” as one of the leaders representing the Chinese. His participation had no legitimacy whatsoever, and by the way Cheng Lock is a BABA, what does he know about Chinese interests ?
Malaysia is in all and every way a HOTCH POCH of 3 separate communities living under one “roof”, and in all of the 50 years of independence UMNO had made no attempt nor made any effort to remove the race barriers and build a harmonious and united modern nation. On the contrary the politics of UMNO has always been to DIVIDE ALL THE THREE RACES SO THAT UMNO WILL RULE MALAYSIA PERMANENTLY. Therefore it has always been the politics of UMNO to hog all the nation’s largess for their own cronies, a small clique of privileged families who claim descend from their original “founding fathers”. The whole structure of UMNO is geared towards perpetuating this objective. The MCA & MIC dogs are the slaves and hangers on of UMNO waiting by the UMNO dining table waiting for the scraps that are thrown from the UMNO main table dinners. It is absolutely disgraceful to watch these MCA & MIC dogs hanging their tongues out begging for a TUN or a Tan Seri or a Datoship. I will today take on the mission to expose why UMNO ought to be destroyed for the good of Malaysia.
(1) RACIAL DISCRIMINATION !
UMNO has used racial discrimination as the bait to draw support from the Malay rakyat to perpetuate their hold on power, and the continued retention of this ugly and medieval policy has been the most damaging and regressive factor that stymied the growth and progress of the Malay people. It is a pity that those in UMNO cannot see what the extent of damage that they have brought on their own people by prolonging their use of racial discrimination for the purpose of retaining power for themselves.
I will confront head on this issue and argue why the power of UMNO to take for the Malays all the fruits of the nation and give it all to the Malays IS NOT A GOOD THING FOR THE MALAYS. Is this not what the Malays believe UMNO is doing for them as Malays, and that Malays TAKING IT ALL IS GOOD FOR THE MALAYS ? My argument will seem futile from the perspective of the Malays, BUT I ASSURE THAT IT IS THE OPPOSITE. I will prove that UMNO’s racial discrimination is very bad for the Malays.
(a) AWARD of scholarships exclusively to only Malays (please do not quibble, I know that a tinny few do go to non Malays, miniscule); so why is that bad for the Malays ? The Malays will say yes it is very BAD for the Indians and Chinese but it is very good for the Malays. WRONG ! I tell the Malays to look around you Malays, and ask the question, who are the recipients of these government scholarships. CONSIDER this one question, “IS THERE A NATIONAL EXAMINATION TO SELECT THE APPROPRIATE AND MOST TALENTED MALAY
CANDIDATE ? To my knowledge there has never been such a selection process; therefore how are scholarship recipients selected ? They are selected by phone calls from the well connected UMNO stalwarts friends call friends and friends of friends call friends and so on, all HAVE TO BE WELL CONNECTED ! If you Malays care to admit it, these recipients of these government largess consist of a clutch full of about 5000 UMNO connected families, the other 23 million other unconnected Malays do not get to smell any of these goodies. Yes it is true that all the good stuff goes to Malays but who are the ones among the Malays who get to share in these largess ? Are these other non connected Malay families any better off than the Chinese or Indians ?
On one of my visits to KL I read a statement made by Najib comparing “MERITOCRACY” between Singapore and Malaysia, and he said that Malaysia too practice meritocracy. This is sufficient evidence of the standard of education that Najib has had; he has no idea what is meant by the word meritocracy, poor man ! In Malaysia in the manner that I have already described above, such a process is not merit based. IT IS CRONY BASED PROCESS. In Singapore only the best are justly awarded such scholarships. NOW I COME TO THE MOST INTERESTING PART OF MY ARGUMENT. If you agree that in Malaysia selection is by “POWER” connection, then it must be agreed that by logical deduction ONLY A CLUTCHFULL of well connected candidates will receive these scholarships. Then you will need to ask, WHAT IS SO BAD TO GIVE SCHOLARSHIPS TO ‘CONNECT CHILDREN ?” The only conclusion that can be drawn from this process is that only a very small ELITE belong to this group of “power connected” candidates. Therefore, not the very best & brightest of the Malay race will benefit from the process. This also means the process perpetuates the RULING CLASS OF A SMALL CLASS OF ELITES; and these recipients are the drags of Malay society; spoiled brats like that fellow Khairy Jamaluddin who is the butt of all the criticism that is coming from bloggers. The evils of the process is that for the last 50 years Malaysia had not produced any pool of Malay talents in any field of professional skills. Malay Engineers are as scarce “whale’s tooth” and in the field of science I don’t think any exist.
The question that you want to ask me is, WHAT HAS THIS TO DO WITH RACIAL DISCRIMINATION ? It has everything to do with racial discrimination, because under the first Malaysian Constitution there was provision under the constitution to set aside 1 out of 4 places in government employment, award of contracts and award of scholarships etc. to be awarded to minority races that means that 25% of government largess must by law go to minority; and under this enabling provision BUREAUCRATS who administer any programme that call for the fair distribution of government largess discriminates against the Chinese & Indians with impunity; thus began the eroding of this provision until today there are no consideration to be given to minority rights. IT BEGAN by bureaucrats abusing the system and awarded all government largess to Malays and by extension the laxity of the government led to CRONY POLITICS and this enabled these bureaucrats to abuse the system for the benefit exclusively FOR UMNO and their member families. This system has hardened and it is beyond reform. The only recourse is to destroy UMNO. Even if the Chinese & Indians do not agitate for a fair share of government largess, the Malays too need a fairer system to get the best returns for the Malays and hence the nation. UMNO is bad for Malays, Chinese & Indians alike. As for the MCA & the MIC, if there is no UMNO there also cannot exist the MCA & MIC.
THE ONLY GOOD SENSE FOR MALAYS, CHINESE & INDIANS IS TO DESTROY UMNO. VOTE THE OPPOSITION AND NO MATTER IF IT IS PAS, DAP OR KEADILAN.
Note that I will write another part to this one.
Read other posts at http://yap.chongyee.blogspot.com
(2) DESTRUCTION OF THE LAW AND CORRUPTION OF JUDICIARY