ME, QUITE SAFE REALLY!

I will stick to my promise to dispense only positive postings even though I got a whacking from a commentator called JOHARI. It was about my blog on HUGS. He took huge umbrage but he got equally whacked by some of this blogs readers.

I dont think I will get whacked with this posting:

To all friends with love

R U O VER 50?

Subject: PERKS OF BEING OVER 50 (italics mine)

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.(they know that i am unemployed)

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.(never heard of charm?.....ask MarinaM.)

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.(try, point me to the nearest watering hole.)

4. People call at 9pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "(applicable after 4am when Tony McGyver Yew drops me home.)

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.(stop being verbose, my uncle was a monomaniacal nimrod with piscatorial propensities and his wife is a tonsorial artistes....whose father in law is a .....shucks forget it)

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. (when there is nothing more to learn it means you cannot attain the hard situation)

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.(certain things you buy, you just throw away, unless you are a recycle freak.)

8. You can eat dinner at 4pm...(more like 3.00am when Ah Loy's Casino brings down the shutters...duh)

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.....(of the amber colored juice...got it?)

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans .(I dont belong to this caste)

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.(driving you mean?..I thought it had to do with the amber tonic)

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.(me I hold UP my huge chest that keeps slipping down.)

13. You sing along with elevator music.(never met this animal before)

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.(it can light up depends on stimulation of an alluring genre.)

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.(no worry here I piggyback on Mrs. Zorro's pension)

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.(havent come to this yet....but it will if I abstain too long from the amber lubrication)

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either .(Where got secrets? My life is so open I dont know where to hide the privates)

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.(maybe in 20 years time.....frequent gushing at appointed venues activate the cells....u bet)

19. You can't remember who sent you this list. (sure I can....he is bald but cant take his eyes off anything with long hair....girls included)

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience. (I wear them testicles....oops specticles for cosmetic effect....u dont know meh?)

HAVE A NICE DAY ALL YOU PEOPLE BELOW THE AGE OF REASON (below 50 that is!!!!)