Friday, May 31, 2013

SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!

The roots of the word have been defined as follows: super- "above", cali- "beauty", fragilistic- "delicate", expiali- "to atone", and docious- "educable", with the sum of these parts signifying roughly "Atoning for educability through delicate beauty."
 It can be defined as "something to say when you have nothing to say".
During a robbery in Guangzhou , China , the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank:
"Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.

This is called "Mind Changing Concept”

Changing the conventional way of thinking.


When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her:
"Please be civilised! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional”
Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school):
"Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said:
"You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience”
Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him:
"Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide”
Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom”
Personal Happiness is more important than your job”.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million.

The robbers were very angry and complained:
"We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity”
Carpe  diem or
Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

A HARRIS ABDULLAH CONTRIBUTION

VOTING IN COLD BLOOD?


7.8 million Malays voted on the 5th May 2013 election.


We have been told that UMNO has 3.2 million members. So how come it got only 3.2 million votes? Assuming all its members voted for their glorious party, then UMNO’s votes came from its own members. It can’t speak on behalf of the Malaysian people. It can’t even speak on behalf of the 7.8 million Malays who voted on the 5th May 2013 election.


So where did the Perkasa guy get his figures when he declared that the UMNO government should be thankful to the Malays for voting in UMNO and keeping it in power WHEN 4.6 million Malays chose not to vote for UMNO.


Moreover it is a fact boasted Incessantly that BN has more than 7 million members.
But it garnered only 5.24 million votes.
Thus 2 million BN members did not vote for BN.
SO 5.24MILLION VOTED IN COLD BLOOD FOR THIEVES, MURDERERS AND ACCESSORIES TO THEFT AND MURDER!

ASKED THE NEW MP FOR RAUB, SAKMONGKOL AK47

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

PAUL LOW’S DEBUT PERFORMANCE!



WOW RIDHUAN TEE YOU ARE NOMINATED AGAIN BUT…….

Two readers were quite annoyed with me for allowing the alleged MCA gigolo poster boy to get the POOP CHUTE award instead of the obnoxious Professor(???) RIDHUAN TEE:

A Bad Boy said...
Zorro,

I must protest in the strongest of terms against Ridhuan Tee being denied a Poop Chute Award immediately.

Ridhuan's previous efforts to make himself look a worthy PCA recipient have far far exceeded the efforts of Shen Yee Aun.

Pls do not misunderstand me, I am not saying that Shen has not worked hard for his Award.

Where Shen has attempted to use politics to justify his moronic blabberings, Ridhuan has used total and absolute gibberish to support his contentions.

It takes a very special type of idiot to deny one's own genetic makeup and in this, Ridhuan Tee has excelled well beyond what is necessary.

Ridhuan Tee's stupendous and monumental efforts to be The Complete Idiot (inclusive of mandatory missing parts) must surely make him ever so worthy of being an automatic and immediate recipient of the Poop Chute Award.

It would be terrible to have to wait for Ridhuan Tee to make further nonsensical statements to support his entitlement to a PCA.

Unlikely though it may be, can you afford the risks of Ridhuan Tee coming to his senses and thereby being ineligible for a prestgious award?

I mean, Ridhuan would probably remain in blissful ignorance of his rights to the PCA but there are those of us who feel that the fullest glory of the Poop Chute Award must descend upon his very personage.

I implore you, sir, on bended knee with hands clasped and head bowed, to immediately confer Ridhuan Tee with his very own Poop Chute Award.

I remain,

Ever your humblest servant

A Bad Boy

Anonymous said...
I agree with A Bad Boy. Please re-consider and give the award to Ridhuan Tee. He is an extremely tortured and tormented soul in a body that he does not want to own. They should make a movie about him, how he lived his many years in this extreme condition. I cried every time I read about what he said or do ... for his parents, for they must have wished they gave birth to a puppy instead.
As for this Shen kid, leave him alone with his tantrum and toys. He has been an angry child since his mom refuse to buy him an ice-cream when he was 3 years old. He has a lot of growing up to do. By writing about him, you are helping him to be famous.
May 27, 2013 at 1:29 PM


Dear Bad Boy and Anon129pm,
Thanks for your feedback. You would have noticed that I did not blog yesterday. There were too many mails to address. Loads of mails requested that I force-feed CuriZat (the name of our donor cow) to get her ready when we bring in the two treasonous fraudsters, the detestable EC duo.



They have to be buried in dung that is if our already pussy-whipped judiciary is incapable of bringing them to justice.


One caller even suggested that Bersih 4.0 be mobilized and like Bersih 1.0 meet at the Palace to send a memorandum to request the Agong to sack this putrid pair for bringing disrepute to a royally sanctioned appointment!
So wait a bit for your turn yah Ridhuan Tee. I suggest you sip (if Utusan can slip you some) the top-grade Pu-erh Chinese tee tea to sublimate anxiety, paranoia and conflict. Dang! I forgot you abhor anything Chinese…..this dialysis is getting to me. Need to rest now. 

Monday, May 27, 2013

SORRY RIDHUAN, A CHINESE BEAT YOU TO THE AWARD.

Yesterday afternoon I posted on the possibility of Professor(?) Ridhuan Tee being nominated for the coveted Poop Chute Award. The first award was shared by two – the local Home Minister and his sidekick the Police Inspector General. There were suggestions that the second award be given to this other pair – Ridhuan and this MCA pup called SHEN YEE AUN.

 Good sense prevailed and the award must go to them separately. Riduan is a Chinese who claims Malay ethnicity by virtue of being a Muslim convert whilst Shen is undoubtedly an unadulterated Chinese, despite the cosmetic headgear. The award is thus bestowed on red peanut Shen Yee Aun.

Velly solly yah Ridhuan, talk some more BS and it is yours!


Enjoy the Award and may the sting stink of this Award follow your ascension to the top of the dilapidated MCA shack and linger on as body odor of a decayed organization.
Justifications HERE
JAG AWARDS HERE

UPDATED
DANG! AN MCA GIGOLO! WOOT WOOT!

Watch THIS briefly lest you get sick and the MCA ah sum and ah soh get jealous



Sunday, May 26, 2013

IS HE BEGGING FOR THE POOP CHUTE AWARD?

It becomes apparent that he wants to take over Perkasa.
It is obvious that he thinks Malays THINK like him, a Chinese.
He believes that by conversion he IS  Malay, despite irreversible skin pigmentation.
He is incensed that till now NO Ruler has conferred him with a Datukship.
Is he is still throwing tantrums for not being nominated as an UMNO candidate at GE13?
Unmistakably, he is urging AirAsia female crew to don the Taliban burqa.
Blatantly he is asking Dong Zong to find a country that will recognize the UEC.
He too is asking “What more do the Chinese want?”
(Publicly renounce your ethnicity!)



SO DOES RIDHUAN TEE QUALIFY FOR THE 
BACKGROUND HERE




Saturday, May 25, 2013

TO THE PARTICIPANTS, WE SALUTE YOU.


For those who are unable to participate in tonight’s rally at Dataran PJ, light a candle and follow the event live

THE CLOSURE OF THE FART CHAMBER BUT THE BEGINNING OF.......


A great change of heart overtook me just recently…..more so after the arrest of people familiar to me. Is the dark force taking its revenge because I interned many of their kind in the Fart Chamber? Is the FC so potent that IT invites vengeance? Is it because I abused the kidney every time I get incensed at SOMEONE with “USE YOUR KIDNEY LAH” and pointing at the brain, that I had to have my kidney lopped off? Dang! It then occurred to me that condemning dickheads without their defence being called is the ISA. Kind of like the worst thing you can tell anyone was that his/her mater should have given the pater a blowjob at conception. That would be an unkind and foul blow below the belt! Not right, at all; absolutely against human rights.

After much soul-searching I have decided on the closure of the fart chamber and the beginning of the POOP CHUTE AWARD. This is an  award to reward those who fail to engage brain before they put mouth into gear…… an award to shitheads or poopyheads if you like.

We decided to inaugurate this award with a double blast off by awarding this newly minted recognition to………………


JUSTIFICATIONS HERE & HERE


TO OLD FART AND DONORS
THANKS FOR YOUR LOYAL CONTRIBUTIONS

Thursday, May 23, 2013

ADDRESSING ANOTHER REQUEST


Dear Uncle B,
I just returned from the Jinjang Vigil for Adam Adli incensed at the arrest of 18 vigilers. As an ABU (Asalkan Bukan UMNO) advocate, me and my friends over teh tarik just now, object to the Police Inspector General, KHALID ABU BAKAR having as his middle name ABU. It is not appropriate and not fair that he should carry this middle name as he is admittedly an UMNO underling. “PC” should be his middle name…..PC as in Police Constable CHIEF. Or better still and more appropriate and original - POOP CHUTE. Can or not, Uncle Z?
Concerned ABU citizens.
From my mobile

Dear Concerned ABU citizens,
Without hesitation, here it is.












Monday, May 20, 2013

LIGHT A CANDLE FOR ADAM ADLI


QUOTES OVER BRUNCH TODAY

"He's an intimidating kid, size-wise. They needed 10 to cuff him.”


“Adam was in jinjang lockup for 24 hours. They are yet to decide what questions to ask him.”

“I know the IGP cause you trouble. They cause trouble everywhere. But when you die and go to heaven. You find no PIG there” (POLICE INSPECTOR GENERAL)

“We're not anti-police... we're anti-police intimidation.”


“A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, 'Where were you between four and six?' I said, 'Kindergarten”.


 “The Pizza Man gets to my house faster than the police! If they do appear they come in a few cars.”


UPDATES HERE











Sunday, May 19, 2013

WHY PINCH WHEN YOU CAN PUNCH?


As early as 1961 when I began my teaching career in Singapore, I start my mornings doing two things: don’t listen to morning news broadcast and start the day with the cartoon page in the dailies. Getting a dose of negative news isn’t my way of starting the day well, so why not have a good laugh before setting out on a new day – teaching.
I got my first taste of socio-political cartoon with SunTan in AsiaWeek. Then, along came our most affable and much-loved Kampung Boy, LAT. We met every Thursday at Coliseum over gallons of beers and mirth – a most agreeable combination…..burp….! Today I still miss the bloke!
I do not read the cartoon pages now because we boycotted our Government newsletters since 2007. At one of our forums on NO BUY NO LIES, I was amused when Kadir Jasin told me he continues to buy the papers because he had to house-train his cats at home!
Today, as a blogger I spice my postings with the contributions from Zunar and Johnny Ong frequently. They recently launched CAEF – cartoonist against electoral fraud. I like Zunar’s punch line in his speech when he was awarded the CRNI  "Courage in Editorial Cartooning" recently – WHY PINCH WHEN YOU CAN PUNCH. However, these two do not pull any punches. They dare to push the limits of tolerance! YOU TOO CAN IF YOU SUPPORT THEIR PUBLICATIONS. MAKE YOUR STAND BESIDE THEM.



Saturday, May 18, 2013

WHILST NAJIB MULLS OVER THE YOKO GIRI AND KASA GIRI, MATHATHIR’S CAMP OPTS FOR ROOTS - THE KALARIPAYATTU.


Although since the election Mahathir hasn't publicly disclosed his rejection of Najib as party leader and premier, he has signaled his irritation by telling reporters that UMNO would have to decide whether Najib Razak should step down (IN OCTOBER?), questioning Najib's strategists and saying their ideas may have contributed to BN's poor performance.




Earlier reports said Najib, who saw the Barisan's parliamentary seats dwindle by seven to 133 to the Pakatan Rakyat's 89, faces being forced out of the premiership at the October AGM in favor of Muhyiddin. The decision to seek the help of the Badawi wing of UMNO could well spell months of instability inside the UMNO leadership as a weakened Najib clings to power in the face of an affronted Mahathir and his allies, who accused him of going too easy on the Chinese in the election.

Mahathir telegraphed his wing's views in a press conference on May 7 to tell reporters he was shocked by the Barisan's performance and laid the blame on "ungrateful" Chinese and "greedy" Malay voters.

"Most of the Chinese rejected the Malays' hands of friendship ... And that was what we call the 'tsunami'," Mahathir said, adding that "At the same time, we cannot deny Malays who have become greedy. They all want power without considering the means, if they needed to sell out their race they will sell it out."




SO WHAT IS THIS

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

JUST ADDRESSING ANOTHER REQUEST......


Saturday



8:55pm
Jeyasakthi Jeyasingham
Hi Uncle Zorro!
Firstly i want to let you know how wonderful it is to have you back!!! Your blog is always open on my PC and I just refresh every morning...it is my companion with my morning coffee (or nightly read when all is quiet!). Read you story about you going to vote...was so moved...but also so happy that you made it to the polling stations!!! YAY!
Was just thinking back to Mother's day 2011 when I first met you at Teluk Chempedak at the anti-lynas gathering. We have come far....but looks like it is a long journey ahead still.
With the crusade still on-going...I was not sure if this awesome lady has come to your attention. Auntie Mei has been one of the earliest...and one of the most steadfast anti-lynas warriors.
I remember way back in 2011..she formed a one woman barricade, standing in front of a policeman who tried to go up the DAP office stairs in Kuantan during one of the earlier gatherings (they took in 4 people for questioning that day). She was at the walk to the australian hi-comm...and whilst many of us stood chatting in the rain...she fished out a garbage bag and started picking up litter on the road, pavement etc.
She is at all the gatherings...and marches and sit ins. She has turned up in court. She's been around the country.
Well...Auntie has taken her fight a step further...and had started a hunger fast! AS of yesterday I heard that she was still on the fast...drinking only water. Various people have been visiting...and I heard a dr has also been going to monitor her.
The story below was shared by Vincent Jiam (the kindergarten teacher! who initiated the anti-lynas campaign) who visited Auntie Mei on Thursday.
I don't know what to do. Other than a few shares on facebook..this does not seem to be gathering much attention (maybe in the Chinese papers?). Understandably people are preoccupied with other important issues such as magic and blackouts!
Uncle Zorro...could you feature Auntie Mei in your blog? Let people know about this brave lady? Again... my info is as of last night. I will find out more...
Thank you!
And once again... WELCOME BACK!
Regards
Jeya



Jeya, I am sorry this took a while to address. I am coping with life with dialysis and the past two days have been trying. I woke up pretty fresh this morning at 315am, brewed that must-have cuppa and decided that its now or never.

YES, I met Ah Mei Chair (sister) in SIBU during the Sibu by-election.  We all stayed at a RM30 a day walk-up (52 steps only) “hotel” opposite the mighty Sg Rajan in Sibu town. She hailed from Kuantan and Anthony Loke’s aide Josephine Mary introduced us. That Sunday morning was also nomination day and Mothers Day too. Mei Chair and I shared a cab every morning to go to YB Wong Ho Weng’s operation centre. Because of my badly fractured Cantonese I did not have much to contribute but was aware that her campaign starts the moment we get into the cab. At the centre, she would clean up the huge table set up for us, get the flyers etc ready for the volunteers when they start climbing up to the centre. I do not see her until we get into the cab the next morning. Then I met her again during the Sarawak state elections that followed. Our paths crossed again during the Hulu Selangor by elections. The last I saw her was during the mammoth Kuantan anti-lynas camapaign when she handed me a vegetarian dumpling at the padang. Then I remembered her on YouTube being arrested when she confronted the deputy IGP.
I know little about her except that when not campaigning for the DAP around the country, she operates a vegetarian stall. And now you tell me that she is on a hunger strike to stop LYNAS in Gebeng and the diamond mine in Raub. Dang! She is a petite lady, just one year my junior but she has got PRESENCE and wherever she is SHE is making a STATEMENT with her piercing glare when she was not pleased!
I hope the people in Kuantan can show their support and I wish my good friend Datuk Sak, the new MP for Raub will dissuade her from continuing her hunger strike. We need her for the final trust that is a-coming. On my part I cannot do much except maybe tolerate the discomfort of dialysis and offer that in solidarity with Ah Mei Chair.



Sunday, May 12, 2013

A BLESSED MOTHER’S DAY TO MUMMY…….


and all those who lavishly “mothered” me in my time of need.  You know who you are. THANK YOU!

JUST ADDRESSING A REQUEST.......


Anonymous said...
Uncle Bernard,

Selamat Hari Guru!!! uncle. Hope your are OK now.

Can you please inform Mr.SAKMONGKOL AK47 that, we still UNABLE to access his blog.

Thanks.

Orang Tanjong!!!

May 12, 2013 at 12:12 PM

Saturday, May 11, 2013

NOT CHINESE TSUNAMI…..MORE A NURUL TIDALWAVE!


AWARDS OF THE WEEK: Anon 855pm, wherever you are, you captured THE NEW MALAYSIA so well, with perspicacity, let me add. THANK YOU……..


May 9, 2013 at 8:51 PM
 Anonymous said...
zorro,

I was caught in the traffic like many others and arrived at about 9.30pm.

I could not get in.

I hung around outside and saw Malaysians of ALL creed and colour in harmony with a common purpose - to let the world know that this BN government is an unfair and unjust government.

I missed an incredible photo opp.

You see, a young boy, with the PAS flag draped around his shoulders, had in his mind to scale up the outside of the walls to the upper seating above as he could not get in.

Being of rather small stature, he struggled a bit until some strangers just walked up and gave him a boost so he could get a grip on the brickwork.

As he slowly reached the railings, willing hands were reaching down to haul him up and there was a moment when his life was in the hands of the people above.

As he was successfully hauled up from the outside of the stadium over the railings into the upper seating inside, a roar went up from us who had just witnessed this amazing feat.

There was no distinction of who was what colour. The sight of a young boy with the PAS flag as a cape being helped by strangers just blew me away.

It was then that I realised it would have had been an incredible picture which I had missed altogether.

May 9, 2013 at 8:55 PM


.........……and this little ripple contributed by a blood kin:

This Little Malay Ripple That Added potency to this new TIDE
on Tuesday, May 7, 2013 at 9:07pm

Dear Prime Minister and all in UMNO

I am, by your definition, Malay.  Except it is said that in our family folklore, my paternal grandmother was probably biologically Chinese.  And yes, my mother is a former Catholic from the Philippines.

Not that any of that should matter because, as far as you are concerned, I am Malay.

Only, I did not vote for you.  And neither did a whole lot of other Malays, despite what you would like to think.  Do the math.  If 80% of the population voted, then surely, you cannot blame the erosion of your power on the Chinese minority.  Or did you fail that subject too?

I voted for the Opposition because as a Malay, I myself have had enough.  Not because I necessarily like all the Opposition leaders, but frankly, I just like you lot less.  Because despite all your rhetoric about the Opposition being a lying, conniving bunch, I have personally born witness and been on the receiving end of YOUR lies and policies that stoke racial and religious polarity.  Not the Opposition’s.

Yours.

Because your government is the only one I have ever known since birth.  And what I see and experience every day in my life is your creation.

Yes, I am a recipient of your Bumiputera scholarship.  I went to one of the world’s best  schools.  In my graduating class, there were less Malaysians than you could count on one hand.  The truth is, I could have obtained my own scholarship from someone else in the world if I wanted to.  And believe me, there are many times I wish I had taken that route, so that I can be relieved of the only burden of debt I feel towards you and your policies.

After graduating from university, I chose to return home.  Yes, I was apparently bonded to work for you for ten years, in repayment for the education you provided me.  But instead, you chose to let me go.  And I still remained here.  Because this is my home.

I could have chosen to work in one of the richest and most developed countries in the world, but I decided to remain in Malaysia.

Over the last twenty years, I have never relied on favours or connections to get a job.  It is against my principles.  And I have done well.  Believe me.  I can get a job in corporate Asia if I want  to.  I used to have a job with one of the world’s largest companies, overseeing seven countries in the region.  Bosses tried to entice me to leave – decamp to Singapore,  Hong Kong and even Japan.  But I still chose to stay here.

In the last four years, I decided to leave corporate Malaysia, because the extent of the rot I saw within its walls were so bad that if I knew any more , I would have to migrate. You may find this hard to believe, but when us ordinary Malaysians are exposed to the incompetence of our policy-makers and leaders, appalled is an understatement.  More than that, the arrogance (and worse, lack of sheer, basic intelligence) of many of those in power whom I have met, whether in the government,quasi-government or private sector crony companies, made me begin to believe that Malaysia was not capable of producing good leaders.

You see, I have benchmarks for comparison.  I have worked with some of the world’s biggest leaders, names you would recognise in a heartbeat.   Don’t  believe me?  Try Colin Powell.  Or Kissinger. Or Bill Gates.   And NONE of them can equal the arrogance and despicable character of some of Malaysia’s corporate and government leaders I have met.

Since I have left corporate Malaysia, I have become a small business entrepreneur.  And to no surprise, there was zero assistance to be had, even with my Malayness.  Funds that should be used to catalyse entrepreneurs like me had dissipated.  Government funding vehicles were uninterested, because hey, they have no time to do due diligence on a company asking for a million Ringgit or two.  What’s the point?  It takes just as much work to do the due  diligence for a company asking for ten times that amount.

So I struck it out on my own.  And Alhamdullillah, things have been good.  In fact, they are so good our small little engine that could (it’s a tiny boutique hotel) won an award as one of Malaysia’s top bed and breakfasts within the first year of operations.

None of my achievements are because you helped me.

Yet, at every election, at every opportunity you get, you turn around and tell me how much you do for me.

Well honey, you lie.

So no, it is not just the Chinese who voted for the Opposition this time.  Because you can count on at least THIS Melayu who did as well. Please stop insulting me and negating my role in your erosion of power.  If you had any sense, you would realise this, and realise it quickly. And figure out how to win Malays like myself back.

But my faith in the good of your kind unfortunately does not stretch that far.  And today you reaffirmed my lack of confidence in you a thousand-fold.

Keep insulting my fellow Malaysian Chinese.  It will not bring me closer to you, because I do NOT count you as my people.

The Malays I am part of are a people who have for generations lived shoulder-to-shoulder with other races,  because we ourselves know our own history, and accept the fact that we are a race that is borne of a meld of many others.  We are a race that has itself experimented with different brands of theology, are unafraid of adapting aspects of other cultures into our own and has NEVER thrived in isolation.  Unlike Japan, we do not have a history of cultural, social or economic growth that does not coincide with an era of openness, cross-border trade or cultural assimilation, be it with or without force.

If you are going to blame the Chinese for your losses, please,blame me too.  And the rest of the Malaysians who did the same.  We ALL did it.  And yes, the entire classroom is standing up this time.


*****

BE READY FOR A DAWNING OF A NEW PHENOMENA
THE NURUL NIMBUS